Beautiful Breakdown
by ClassicalyWrote
Summary: Billy Darley always had a tough exterior.Rose Donovan grew up around the same things as Billy. Excepting one another Rose and Billy are best friends. But when Rose starts to feel more than that will Billy love her back?
1. Chapter 1: The Night ShiftBeen Edited

She huffed and slammed the black tray down making glasses clink together. Her name is quite a mouthful. Roselyn Alexandra Donovan, but Rose for short if you want to keep a headache from the entire right or left side of your head. She's currently at hard work taking on the night shift at a bar entitled: _Four Roses. _This woman dealt with heat and tiring nights especially during busy weeks like this. Local biker clubs or just anyone remotely attached to illegal trade and anything to do with breaking the law waltzed into this bar with some balls attached.

But, even those people had common sense knew to keep a tight lid on their mouths before they rolled into this joint talking about anything or shooting a simple breeze. That simply known fact is because Billy Darley's biggest hot spot was right here in the middle of Rockside. Right here in the middle of the smoky , red and tinted bar. Many would cringe at the mention of Rockside, located on the Southside of Boston. Small little place that couldn't really be called a town. More like sets of neigh-boor-hoods ran by the Darley gang.

Anyone who's currently using the smart keep a lid on it method won't mention the gang at all. Unless they wanted something from the leader Billy or his father Bones Darley, whom owns the Body Shop. Everyone who was anyone with knowledge of the streets knew that the Body Shop wasn't anywhere close to being a regular car shop.

The woman named Rose, simple in height with chocolate brown hair and blue/brown eyes happened to be the closest female tangled with the Darley's. She'd grown up to know them since they were all merely entering elementary school. It's only natural that her job is working at a rundown bar with it's fine share of liquor that holds its best table to Billy and his crew. To her they were family, but family who gave her no privacy.

Personal space always lacks with one drunken customer at the bar or another. Usually depends on what week brings in what type of scumbag.

"Hey Sweetheart, how's about I give you some of this?" A gruff familiar voice filtered through Rose's ears.

She stopped with her task at hand to turn around and face the man. He happens to be a regular customer who goes by the name of Lenny. Lenny is bordering the rough looking facial features with a five o'clock shadow and a short height. His personality: always an ass whole!

Lenny was shaking his groin with a smirk on his lips grinning between Rose and his friend.

"How's about I give you some of this?" Rose retorted, flicking her middle finger into the air.

"Ooh, feisty aren't we?" He smirked.

Rose bit her lip to keep from shouting pervasive language that would make a sailor blush. She decided to ignore both men. She slid the tray of empty glasses over and started wiping down the chips of peanuts stuck to the bar.

"Aw, baby come on? Just some sugar will do." Lenny was laughing now.

Rose lost control of her temper in the flash of a second and slipped up.

"Why don't you go make some use of that thing you call a penis and go fuck yourself!" She snapped, jabbing her finger towards Lenny's groin area.

"Or maybe you could suck-"

"Rose," Came a thick Spanish accent from behind her. She turned her body to face Mike who had entered through the employees only door and tossed a crate down next to the liquor wall behind her. He was the middle aged Spanish man who owned the bar. No one really had a clue to the bar's actual time establishment though.

"Mike, these men are-" She was cut off as Mike interrupted.

"Rose, that is no way to speak to customers! Now, you apologize," he demanded, muttering something Rose didn't understand in Spanish.

"Mike, are you fucking crazy?" Her brows crinkled in confusion.

Usually Mike had been more giving in tossing out jerks if they got too fresh with the bar waitresses. Tonight though, Mike looked as if he couldn't give anything but a damn?

"Rose, NOW!" He repeated warningly.

Rose acknowledged that Mike would never fire her willingly, but if customers complained and his cash intake took a sour turn, he'd have to let the said smart mouth go. Rose chose to behave and keeping herself lucid enough to earn the cash that she needs. A woman has to pay rent somehow, right?

She sighed deeply and tossed the rag aside. "I'm sorry dude. Can I get you another drink?"

Lenny looked cocky whilst he spoke up. "Yeah darlin', I'll have a straight shot of whiskey."

"Anything for you?" She motioned to the man next to him.

"Umm yeah. I'll take a beer," he said, smiling to her.

"Bottle or tap?" Rose asked without interest.

"Tap. Love my damn frosted tops." The man winked.

"Right," Rose sarcastically replied, moving to take her place behind the bar- hunting for two clean glasses below the counter top.

She smiled having found a shot glass and a taller glass without trouble this time.

She took some moments to think while making the drinks. Normally making the drinks wouldn't be her thing, but the bartender is apparently "under the weather" or smoking pot?

"Like I don't get enough of these fucking drug addicts," she mumbled to herself.

"Hey cupcake, get your ass moving with my whiskey," Lenny shouted over the country song on the jukebox and the conversation of civilians.

Rose shook her head filling up the last inch of the other man's beer.

.

"Two more hours, just two more hours." She breathed in deeply

Mike couldn't help but chuckle at Rose as he counted out the money from the register.

"Hey, don't take my tips," Rose barked, slamming the tray set on the bar and using her two working hands to deliver the beverages.

Mike laughed and handed her out the bill for Lenny and company.

Rose wanted to stall with her feet, every step closer she got to their table. But she resisted and gracefully set down the bill and alcohol.

Mike made a coughing sound still in the same spot. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Enjoy your drinks guys." She walked away but only got a few inches before Lenny hollered something that made her mouth turn up.

"Twenty fucking dollars!" He yelled. "I'm not paying for this shit at all!" He snapped his fingers.

"Excuse me Sir, but this isn't a five star dining organization." Rose smirked, while trying to confuse the men. She continued looking on for ways to further agitate his posture. "Do you have a name?"

" I sure as hell do," Lenny smirked. "Forget me already?" He failed at an attempt to wink in god knows what way he was trying to mimic, but anyone could've guessed the wink correctly.

"No, not you. Your friend here." Rose motioned to the other man to Lenny's left. He was very sexy for keeping company like this. She'd done analyzed him in the few seconds she'd taken to deliver his beer. Normally his type would be throwing out dollars at some high and mighty strip club. But he had a sense of darkness just from his wondering eyes.

"I thought you'd never ask. The names' Ralph, baby."

"Well, Ralph, if Lenny doesn't pay the bill I'm sure you will? Am I right or am I wrong?" Rose grinned like mad. She wanted her hard earned tips, and roughing it with scumbags turned up her personal heat space. In the heated way of energy and power she felt by testing her vixen smart ass demeanor on them. "Just remember it's twenty-dollars. Strippers can wait, huh? And don't ever call me a baby." She winked cockily walking away right as Lenny snorted.

Rose got maybe half an inch or two before she felt a firm smack. She grit her teeth and slowly ground her heel into the cement causing her to turn sharply on the very overworked soles of her feet.

She watched Lenny smirking, knowing it was his large hand that reached out for her ass moments ago. Ralph set with a firm shaking of the head.

_We've got an unusual charmer on our hands. Hmm?_

Rose didn't need an static throat clearing sound from Mike, she knew to let it go with her dignity still in tact. You've got to roll with the punches when working in a place like this.

"Anything else?" Her eyes on Lenny. He shook his head.

She raised her brows and put on a sweet smile. Walking back to the bar, she yanked off her burgundy apron and hoped onto a bar stool- wasting no time with letting her head rest into her hands. She sighed deeply upon noticing the chimes inside of the bar ring out through her throbbing ears. She lifted her head to see who else would be making a debut tonight, but saw no one at the door. "Thank god," she mumbled, placing her head back into the comfort of her folded arms.

Rose didn't take notice to the person that is headed in her direction. When she felt someone wrap their arms around her stiff form, she jumped. Her heart fell into her chest and she rammed her back into the person-hopping from the stool for a ready defensive action. She knew it's a bar drunk.

Since her one faulty relationship with a man she thought that she might be able to love more than just a few months dating time, she felt tension with any unfamiliar man. Doctor, bill collector, you name it. None of her other boyfriends could handle who she was involved with, and those that could- bailed because of her lack of trust due to Michael. She once thought he was her angel. Finally someone good her way after her best friend never saw her as more than that typical trusted female and beneficial shelter for his manhood. She knew that he wasn't perfect, but the more she let the doubt seep in, the further in denial she got. Not so trusted, but more a cocksucking-rich fuck! He'd buy her off, sweet talk her to make all those bruises disappear from the her mind, so he'd be protected from the outside world.

No one saw until the end neared. Only three years ago.

~*~*~*~*~

_**Flashback- January 12th, 2004**_

_At first he treated her well. Flowers and gifts here and there. The sex leveled beyond satisfactory, but Michael was no Billy Darley. The best friend in question. Billy never liked anyone Rose paid attention other than himself. And when he found out that she slept with him..._

_It went on for about four months. Rose would slip up according to Michael's standards, and he'd make sure his fist got the point through her body. _

_She was attending Boston University and ended up meeting Michael through a friend in her study group. She let Michael move in with her during her final college year, off campus. Though she lived far away from Rockside, Billy knew everything, he just knew._

_Rose walked out of the library with a heavy messenger loaded with books. It clung to her shoulder with slight pain. She was also on the verge of finals and celebrating her twenty-second birthday. She finished up some hard studying towards her degree in English Literature. And finally, in a few short months she'd be able to go back home and visit everyone for a while. Including fishing out Vincent's number for a get together with him. She hadn't seen him since her involvement with Michael began a year ago. He'd skipped out of Boston and back to New York to see his mother and family. _

_But both he and Rose had promised to keep in contact with one another. I mean when you know someone for that long with a relationship containing what the two of them shared, it's best to never forget what it all amounts to. She only wished that Vincent is here for her at this point and time. He'd been there for her more than she'd ever imagined. Why did he have to leave and this ass hole enter? If it weren't for the threats of Michael promising her future would dissipate before her very eyes, she'd have kicked his solid manhood into the next fucking state and back. _

_Rose checked her watch. Shit, 7:30, she discovered with fear. She made a quick entrance for her car and hit the gas to home. _

_Once she arrived, she practically ran like she was in a marathon just to reach her apartment door. she threw her keys into the locked and the white door flew open. She shut it behind her and tossed her heavy bag down. She looked around to find the place empty. She sighed with relief and made a move to set down on the sofa. _

"_Well, well, the bitch finally returns." A cold voice startled every nerve with fear inside of her. The tips of her toes ached with readiness to run away from this situation. She swore to herself like all in her situation, past and present. She'd never go back to being abused after escaping that from her childhood. _

_She tried ignoring him to keep a tinge of dignity for herself. _

_Michael continued on. "Where the hell have you been? Out whoring around?"_

"_Hell no! I was out studying for my finals and you fucking know that!" Rose lost her temper at hearing the word whore being used in the same sentence as her name. _

"_Listen here bitch, you'll never amount to nothing! And unless I give you permission to go out and study, you don't!" He emphasized each word._

"_Says the moron who met me at a study group," she retorted with spite, giving him a sharp glare. _

_Michael tossed whatever drink he held in his hand to the counter. He never drink he was just pure angry. Pure controlling. _

_Before she could blink his hand backhanded her sharply across the face. _

_Not surprising. Here we go. Rose thought while biting her lip awaiting his next move. _

"_I say that you my little birdie are a liar, not only a whore, no I think we should go with," Michael paused, while pretending to scan over options. "No," he continued on. " No, I think that you were out whoring around with those damn Darley's! So we'll go with the typical lying whore!" He spat, pushing Rose to the ground. _

"_Don't you ever say their name! And if were going for cliches tonight, baby," her tone sarcastic and cruel. " We'll deem you the typical rich ass hole who hits his feelings and then buys them off in return. Tell me, whose good enough to not hit!"_

"_You little bitch! How dare you?!" He yelled, bending over and preventing Rose from rising to her feet. He harshly yanked her up by her wrist. Rose knew this protocol from experience. She'd gone so long dealing with Alex's abuse that when she finally snapped, she went for the gold and it caused the biggest family throw down. This is turning out the same. _

_Michael wrapped his hands around her throat and began squeezing. _

"_Stop," Rose wheezed. He was to strong for her to continue to fight him off. But that didn't mean that she wasn't going to try! Her vision blurred as her eyes landed on the coffee table. She'd done herself in before she had time to think of a proper escape route. He'd never tried to kill her before, no matter what he'd done to her in the past. _

_The blurs turned into an undeniable pressure. Her eyes scanned the surrounding of the inn table for a weapon of some sort. She thanked her lucky starts that she paid attention to her instincts. With one swift kick to Michael's groin, she was up and her hand grasped the letter open and she rammed it into the hand that he was holding over his own balls. She dropped it. His white shirt immediately stained by the crimson. Rose wasted no time in looking and focused on how badly he was screaming in pain. She knew she'd successfully wounded him. She ran for the door and pulled it open. A sharp pain erupted from her skull before she could flee the apartment. Michael gripped her hair with force and pulled her backwards. _

"_Stupid bitch!" He screamed. He slammed her head into the door and pulled her back. She was on the verge of blacking out. Just as she thought the pressure couldn't intensify a slicing tear bounded her stomach. She screamed out as loud as her lungs would allow. It felt like a burning fire connected with the pain of her stomach and rammed it's way up her lungs. Rose threw her leg back and pulled the door open. She ran, ran harder and faster. The wind pumping beneath her legs. Soon enough she was outside and running through that Boston rain. She didn't know how she ran that far, but she did. Minutes felt like hours, buildings in her vision blurred with her impaired vision._

_She fought of the concussion to make it those two miles to one place that could hold help. The letter opener clung to her stomach like tape to a piece of paper. _

_The place that she was looking for came into her sights. She huffed and screamed out in the night air. Just as she reached the distance where he cry for help could be heard, she screamed, but the roar of an engine cut her off. _

_No, my chance, NO! She had no more fight left in her lungs. Breathing hurt like a raging fire from hell. The roared flared up and Rose's head twisted in confusion. _

_He must've came to investigate. Her eyes literally widened with shock and a deep sense of fulfillment followed by terror and fear. Billy was here. Could he hear her? _

_Keeping her valuable time, Rose hollered his name and started limping. The panic settling in. She wouldn't give up! _

"_Billy!" Rose screamed over the rain. From the scene to anyone else it was hopeless. _

_The blood warmed against her legs as it stained her jeans. The rain poured down. _

"_Please don't leave! Billy, come back!" She felt hysteric. _

_She collapsed in the middle of the road. With her wet hands wrapped around the letter opener, she curled up in ball against the wet black top. _

"_Let this be over," her tears blended in with the rain. _

_She shut off all sounds from her ears. Her mind fell blank. She lay there shivering and whimpering until a voice pulled her from her thoughts. _

"_Rose, is that you?" The deep voice asked with concern. _

_Sure enough she lifted her head to see his car had been the one to pull up. She looked up. There he was brown long leather trench coat soaked, the rain drops running down his shaved down scalp. His goatee was dripping wet from the rain. _

_God he looks so beautiful in the rain. Rose smiled through chattering teeth. _

"_What happened?" His jaw already clenching, his fingers brushing the metal _

_Before she could open my mouth to speak, Billy had her up and in the mustang. She did not know why she let her eyes stay closed the entire time. If something bad was going to happen to her then Billy was the last thing that she wanted to hear. Once he started down the road, grunts and growls along the way, She managed to let her eyes open and her gaze lingered on his face. His eyes were the bluest of blue tonight. You could see the pain and fear clearly along with knowing of exactly what happened. It's one of the good things about having Billy as a best friend. The man is smart and he just knows things. We know one another and can just be. Billy and Rose hadn't been together for some time in bed though. A few years at best. Thinking about it now after going so long without seeing him was sickening to her. _

_She closed her eyes again whilst he encouraged her to keep them open. The way had been short and quick. Rose made it inside the hospital before I could open her eyes a second time._

_Billy shouted and yelled and voices filtered through her ears. After moments that felt like forever Rose felt herself being wheeled back into a hallway that smelled so grossly familiar. _

_She stayed strong and kept my cries for him to hold my hand to myself. _

"_I'm going to be here, Rose. Everything is going to be all right. But don't fuckin' expect to see him ever again!" It was the last thing she heard before the cold numbness took her underneath it's wings. _

----------

Rose never really knew what happened to Michael to an extent. Just that he sliced open Billy's face and left quite the scar.

but she let her fear fall away and turned to find the comfort of Joe Darley's arms. She sighed in relief before hugging him slightly. "You scared me, you shit bag," Rose groaned.

His look masked one of seriousness, but no trace of humor. "You ok?"

Joe is the closest to her aside from Billy. She helped Billy take care of Joe as they grew up. They'd been through everything together and back.

"I'm fine." She smiled.

"Rose, are you sure?"

"You want a drink, Joe?" Rose laughed, breaking out of his sentence.

"Hells yeah. But, hey, how long do you have left of your shift?"

"Bout an hour and forty-five," Rose answered immediately, making Joe laugh again.

"Ok." He chuckled and left her side to take his place at the back table.

Joe noticed the door of the bar widely opening and shadows that bound highly off the wall, entered. Joe met his brother Billy in stride.

"Hey," Joe greeted.

"She workin' tonight?" Billy asked plainly.

"Yeah, she's getting some shit done."

"Move on back," Billy barked, motioning with his thumb to the back table.

When Billy aimed at Joe to do the same, he went to protest.

"But, she's getting my drink-"

The low glare had Joe putting his hands up into the air and leading himself to the back table to join the rest of the guys in defeat.

Billy smirked and strutted up to the bar, tapping his fingertips impatiently on the counter.

"Rough night? Need somethin' baby?"

"How's about I show you something not so good." Rose whirled around with the glass of fresh whiskey in hand. Her eyes softened and her lips curved into a wicked grin upon seeing him in all his sensual glory.

Rose leaned over the bar with the whiskey still in hand. "Usual, Billy?"

She got a bit sidetracked when his hand brushed some loose strands of her wavy hair behind her ear. Her eyes closed in bliss. His touch, his every move made her body feel like one big ice storm, the kind that gives you a fierce soft fire afterwards. She absentmindedly rubbed her palm across the scar on his face, but her eyes popped open once she realized what she was doing.

Billy had a look of intensity across his face.

"Been thinking about it?" He spoke.

She nodded. " I usually do on busier nights in this dive. Eight shots?" She changed the subject dully, pulling away from him.

He growled and walked away towards the back. Bodie hissed at Spink to made some room, but Billy held a hand up as he reached the table.

"You're all going to stay here. Got it?" He already knew just what he wanted. "And you're going to tell Mike that Rose left."

Bodie nodded in agreement. "She ok?"

"Just the same old fuckin' ghost," Billy lit a smoke and stalked back to the bar.

"Rose?" She turned with the tray of shots in her hand.

"I have to work."

"No, you don't." With the snap of his fingers, Baggy had appeared and lifted the tray.

"Hey what-"

"We can serve ourselves."

"Come on, Rose." Billy licked his lips out of habit.

Rose found herself caught up and was out the door with him and heading to his car.

"Whoa, whoa. Billy, look-" Warm lips crashed against her own and a large hand cupped her clothed breast.

She pushed away breathless. "Billy, stop!"

"How many years has it been? How long for us?"

"We did a few-"

"Fucking months ago." Billy didn't snap, but kept his cool.

"My car."

"Leave it." Please he whispered, grinding his hips into hers. "I need my shelter," He bit her lip and pressed his right against the corner of her mouth.

Oh how she couldn't resist the overused, unusual phrase spoke by Billy Darley.

"Your place?"

-------------------

**_ A/N: Yeah, I tweaked this chapter a bit to clean it up, lol. I know that my writing before was super sloppy, but give me a break! I was just starting out for the very first time. But anyways, I'll be re-writing the next two chapters like I did with this one, but my punctuation still has a little bit of a rocky feel to it. I apologize for that as my beta is very busy right now. :) She'll be on the case soon, lol. _**

**_Got some more chapters to post, because on Hedlund fanfiction, I am up to chapter 18. Remember to leave some feedback. It helps, but I'll get by if you don't, lol. I've learned that you've gotta write for yourself! Thanks for reading. - Kay_**


	2. Chapter 2:Actions and Consequences

Chapter 2:Actions and Consequences

As Billy and I got to his car his cell phone rang. "Why don't ya go ahead and get in while I take this!"he said looking at the caller ID.  
"Ok." I shrugged my shoulders and got into Billy's car sliding around on the cool leather. Billy answered his phone.

"What the fuck do ya want?"

"Oh easy there son ya don't wanna piss me off do ya?"Bones asked.

"What Dad?" Billy spat.

"Your not with her are ya?"

"No."Billy said to quickly."

"You fuckin are,ya remember what I told ya your with Lindsay now!" "I'm not loosing buisness over your sorry fuckin ass!" "Get rid of her or i'll do it it for ya!"

Billy's teeth clentched and his nostrils flared. "Yeah Rose is GONE!"he hissed.

"Good boy buckle down or we'll have to eliminate the problem!"

"No need."Billy growled slamming his phone shut.

Billy got so caught up in the kiss shared earlier he forgot where his duties lie or what the consequences of his actions were for being with Rose.  
As much as he wanted to be inside Rose,shelter her he could never the way he wanted or needed too. If Bones ever found out Rose would pay the price.  
All because of that BITCH Lindsay,Bone's best paying customer with a thing for Billy.Bowing his head Billy swallowed the lump in his throat,but the anger kept boiling stronger!  
The drive to Billy's place was silent until I broke it."So who was on the phone?"I asked picking at my nails. Billy remained silent."Ok fine don't tell me."I joked faking a pout. Billy spoke up.  
"Do ya have to know every fuckin thing?"he snapped. "Billy."I said as he remained silent. "I was only kidding." "What crawled up your ass?"

Billy slammed on his breaks as we pulled up to his apartment.I flew forward. Billy turned off the ignition and I just sat there leaned back into my seat. Billy just sat there and my breathing became deep and ragged.  
"Sorry if I pissed you off."I sighed. Billy looked at me his gaze turned to such lust. He leaned over and kissed me hard and rough. I pulled away and bit his earlobe. I ran my tongue frombehind his earlobe down his neck,  
the cool metal of my tongue ring making Billy's body shiver. He suddenly jerked away. "Billy you ok?"I asked.

(Third Person P.O.V)  
Billy had anger raging through him.Rose was making it so fuckin difficult to not give a damn.But the truth is that Billy could never stop giving a damn.He had to do this he had too."Billy you ok?" Rose asked. Her sweet voice,  
her gorgeous hair and body, it was to much for him to think about. How she made his heart feel full even after he killed someone.The way she always excepted him always no matter what he did. The way he had to fight for her approval just like she had to fight for his. The way she could take care of herself,nurture you but piss you off at the same time. The way she helped raise Joe and even Billy himself into a man. Her grace,her laughter,her shyness,hell even the classical and earthy music she listened to was beginning to grow on him. She made him understand the depth of the music,she makes him understand the depth of things.The anger only grew stronger in Billy as the scent of Rose's perfume grew on him. So now Billy lost it!  
(End of Third P.O.V.)

"Are you ok?"I asked suddenly confused at Billy's body tension.

"Do you not wanna?"

"No Rose I do."he said.

He opened his door and got out,as I was getting out Billy jerked my hand and slammed my car door. He pulled my hand as we began walking very quickly.Billy's neighborhood wasn't the best place to be in,but his apartment was clean and decent. I had to get on Billy's ass to clean it and fix it up. he led me inside and we climbed the stairs. As soon as I reached the last five steps to Billy's floor he slammed me into the wall,kissing my lips hungrily.

"Billy I- "shut up Rose!"he growled cutting me off.

He grabbed my breast and I moaned in appreciation. He pulled one leg of mine to his body and he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. he carried me up the steps and down the hall to his apartment still kissing me. We finally managed to get to the apartment,and Billy opened the door. Us almost falling in the process. We tumbled inside.Billy slammed the door shut locking it securely. He slammed me up against the wall picture frames around us falling and crashing. He carried me up the stairs and into his room. He threw me on the bed.He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it somewhere across the room.He kicked off his boots and I kicked off my heels. I stared at his chest and muscles in wonder,the tribal tattoo leading up his arm and around his neck. When I looked at his face I knew something was wrong. Could it be why he was so distant in the car? My thoughts were cut short as Billy climbed on top of me. I reached down to get his belt buckle undone, but he pushed my hands away and gripped my wrist tightly.Pinning them above my head. His hands went to my shirt and instead of taking it off he ripped it into two pieces right down the middle.

"Billy."I laughed. "I need that for work."

He didn't even smile just threw the torn pieces of short onto the floor. I frowned but he he just continued to take or shall I say savagely rip my clothes off of me. He pulled me up roughly unsnapping my bra and throwing it across the room.

"Billy are you ok?"I asked.

"I said shut the fuck up Rose!" he growled yet again.

He pushed me back down onto the bed. Now I was getting slightly scared he wasn't being himself.

"Billy why are you acting like this your scaring me?"I stated

He didn't even look at me. "Ya said you wanted this Rose now shut the fuck up so I can get this over with!"

"Over with?" I whimpered in disbalief. My eyes began to water. What had changed. "Why?" Billy gripped my slirt and he pulled it roughly off of me. He grabbed one side of my panties ripping them off of me. "Billy."I said. He gripped my legs and jerked them open very roughly with a strong force. My eyes filled with tears. He quickly removed his pants and boxer/briefs. My eyes wondered his gorgeous body remembering why I wanted this so badly. Calm down Rose you can still enjoy this I thought. He came on top of me and postioned himself. Wasting no time he slammed into me! It hurt like hell since I haven't had this in a year or had someone as big as Billy. "Billy?" I whimpered. "Billy?" He sped up and I cried out in pain, it hurt so much. He was tearing me in two. My hands moved up and clawed his back. He just removed them and gripped them tightly. He kept thrusting and I just lay motionless as Billy pounded into like a punching bag. After a good twenty mintues Billy released himself and pulled out of me. He rolled over breathing heavily. He got up and got under the sheets of his bed and I did too. He turned away from me not holding me at all. "Billy?"I whimpered tears streaking down my cheeks from both emotional and physical pain.

"What?"he said sounding a little less harsh this time.

"I missed you."I whispered.

Seeing Billy do nothing I turned over.Wondering what changed when we were at the bar parking lot. My lip quivered and tears rolled down my cheeks.I couldn't see it but tears filled Billy's eyes and rolled down his cheeks too.

(Third Person P.O.V.)

Morning rolled around and Billy was the first one to wake up. He saw Rose next to him and choked back his tears. Bones warned him he had to do this he just had to. Suddenly there was a loud knocking at the door. Billy got up throwing on his boxer/briefs and he went downstairs side stepping all of the glass from the previous night's events. He made it to the door opening it to be greeted by a pair of lips. "Hey baby."she squeaked. "Hey Lindsay."Billy replied dully. "So are you ready for our date tonight?"Lindsay asked.  
"Yeah I want the boys to meet ya."Billy replied. Lindsay saw the glass on the floor. "Are you ok?"she asked. "Yeah Baggy had a girl over last night fuckers."Billy said. "Look baby I want ya to be a surprise tonight so ya better hurry up and get going."Ok bye baby."Lindsay squealed.  
She leaned up and kissed Billy's lips and turned on her cheap pink hills bouncing away. As soon as she left Billy ran a hand over his shaven head. Sighing deeply Billy went to clean up the glass.  
(End of Third P.O.V.)

I woke up and squinted my eyes were sore from crying. The events from last night came flooding back and I just layed there my eyes filling up with tears. When I moved to get up my whole lower body hurt. I got up and noticed blood on the sheets."Great just fucking great."I mumbled.  
Oh well he can fucking clean it I thought. I grabbed my skirt off the floor and slipped it my panties were completely useless. I found my bra and I put it on my shirt also being useless. I went to look for my heels finding one I slipped it on. I still couldn't find the other one. Billy came in. "H-hey." he said. I just looked at him. "I can't find my heel."I spat. "Oh." was all he said. Seeing him stand there I bent down looking for it when a searing pain shot throughout my stomach. I grabbed it immediately jerking back up. Billy came over to me immediately."You ok?"he asked. "I'm fucking fine where is my fucking heel?"I spat. Billy looked shocked and guilty. What the fuck ever I thought. I finally spotted my heel under Billy's night stand. I grabbed it and put it on. "Could you give me a ride?"I asked Billy completely ignoring his half naked form in front of me. "Yeah."Billy spoke. Billy grabbed his black t-shirt from last night off the floor throwing it on. He grabbed his jeans slipping them on followed by his boots. We silently walked out to his car and got in. He put his key in the ignition and started the car. I could feel his eyes burn on me but I just turned my head. He sighed deeply and backed out tires squealing Billy took off down the street.

We drove in silence.ten uncomfortable minutes later Billy pulled in at my apartment complex. The one I had moved to after Billy killed Michael. I waited for Billy to say something.Seeing him his eyes on the wheel in front of him his gaze hard. I bowed my head. As I turned to get out Billy flipped the locks on the doors.  
"Rose."he said deeply. "What?" I spat. "Are ya ok?" "Yeah whatever Billy i'm fine."I growled. His hand moved from the wheel to my bare knee. I tensed up shivering and I scooted away from Billy's hand. He leaned his head backagainst the seat scrutching up his face.Like he often does when when something bothers or hurts him it's his way of hiding his hurt. "Rose?"I- "look Billy."I asked. "What happened you were all for sex at the bar then when we got to your apartment I mean." He didn't answer.Tears filled my eyes. "Can you please just let me out now?" I asked not wanting to cry in front of Billy. Billy's eyes also filled with tears.He unlocked my door and as I got out he grabbed my arm. "Rose?" "Don't fucking bother!"I spat. I got out of the car slamming the door and Billy also got out.

"Rose."

"Why don't you just say goodbye and get it over with!"

"Look last night I didn't mean to get so fuckin rough!"

"Whatever Billy, look forward to cleaning the blood off of your sheets!"

"Fuck Rose I made ya bleed are ya ok?

"Yeah Billy i'll be fine."

As i turned to leave Billy called out. "Rose?" "What?"I asked turning around the sorness in between my legs hurting alot. "Are ya gonna be working at the bar tonight?" "No."I said. "Baggy's sister is why?" "Just wonderin." Billy said. "Umm... Billy how do I go anywhere my car is at the Four Roses?"I asked. "Shit!"he said.

"Well later on after I take care of some shit i'll come get ya to pick it up."

I turned around to leave but Billy grabbed my arm.Oh that intense blue stare I got. His fingers brushed my inner thigh. "I'll se ya later Rose."He whispered in my ear.  
"Whatever fucker!"I said turning on my heel. Billy chuckled behind me he knew how stubborn I was. I went into the complex taking the stairs I reached my apartment and unlocked the door.  
I decided that since I had a free day I would lounge around. So I went to first take a shower.

(Third Person P.O.V)  
Billy was in his car driving no longer than five minutes when his cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Well well well where the fuck have ya been hidin Natzi?"

"What the fuck do ya want Dad?"

"Where the fuck were ya last night?"

"I was at fuckin home."

"You weren't out doin your shit?"

"So fuckin Heco dealt he needs to fuckin do his shit like I tell him too!"

"Yeah and you better listen to what the fuck i'm tellin ya!"

"Did ya two fuck?"

"No!" god damn it I never had sex with her.

"Buckle the fuck down Billy or I fuckin swear." "Ya better get your shit done and start deliverin some fuckin results ya understand?"

"Yeah."Billy spat. Bones clicked off and Billy waited a moment before he slammed his phone shut. "Thank god Rose isn't working tonight."Billy said.

(End of Third Person P.O.V.)

I got out of the shower and changed into some comfortable clothes. I plopped down onto my couch and turned the T.V. on. The day dragged on until 6:30 rolled around.  
I was in the middle of watching Cruel Intentions when my cell rang. I grabbed it off the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"Hey there Roselyn."

"Shit Mike." Mike always calls me Roselyn my full first name when he's afraid to tell me something.

"What the hell do you need Mike?"

"Look I know it's your day off but Lilly called in sick and I need a waitress."

"Fuck Mike no way!"

"Please Rose if I had anyone else I wouldn't have called."

"Mike NO!"

"Please Rose i'll double your pay."

"Alright but I went home with Billy last night my car is in the fucking parking lot."

"Okay be ready and i'll be there in twenty mintues."

"Ok bye." I hung up before Mike could say thanks.

I went into the bathroom applying my eyeliner,smokey eyeshadow,masscara,lip gloss,and my blush. I found my black leather pants slipping thme on. I grabbed my little tight red baby tee and threw that on. Groaning I slipped on my six inch red heels.  
"Joy work here I fucking come." Oh well at least Billy will be there tonigt I thought. My outfit left nothing out of the imagination showing off my well rounded bottom,large breast, about six of my tattoos,and my belly button which was pierced twice. I brushed out my hair. I had to admit I looked hott and I was proud to have he toned body I worked for.

(Third Person P.O.V)  
Billy had, had the long legged squealing beach blonde in his car for a full fifteen mintues. When they finally reached the bar. Billy already saw Heco's car.  
"Ready Babe?"he asked Lindsay. "Hold on Billy Boy Baby." Billy's eyes wandered her long legs she was hott in a cheap way, but that was what Billy went for.  
As Lindsay finished glopping on the last bit of her make up she rubbed Billy's knee. "Let's go Baby."she said. They got out and Billy saw Rose's car rhanking god that she wasn't working tonight and that Baggy's sister was.

(End of Third Person P.O.V.)

Mike pulled up honking his horn and I grabbed my purse. i locked my door securely and hurries to the car. Mike wolf whistled. "Damn your gonna be rakin in the tips i'm glad I hired you." I rolled my eyes. Even though Billy hurt me I couldn't wait to see him! 


	3. Chapter 3:Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Billy could hardly hold still as Lindsay was wiggling and bouncing around in his grasp. "Calm down Lindsay!"he said. She smirked seductively at him. Billy walked in the familiar scents of smoke,  
whiskey,and the sweat of the pathetic drunk men around him filling his nose. He was just like them. Currently kicking himself and downing his sorrows in whiskey and tequila, over one woman.  
When in truth he could have anyone he wanted desired even, and not owe her anything but a fuck. Not many people gave out empanthy to Billy except Rose, she knew him,she understood him.  
She wasn't a drug addict,wasn't a customer, and she wasn't blonde. Billy needed to be Billy, he needed to protect his reputation and it also mean't he could protect Rose. He missed the one scent that usually stuck out in this bar. Rose's perfume he knew it as Surreal in a purple glass bottle with a green lid. This was it tomorrow Rose Donovan would be just another bullet shot from his gun. Feeling an awful pain in his heart. After that conclusion Billy spotted the boys at a table in the back.

"Oooh Lindsay." squealed. Billy made it to the table Lindsay clinging to his arm. Bodie's head shot up frowning. Joe squinted before hurt washed over his face. He was hurting for Rose. "This is Lindsay my girlfriend." he said nipping at her neck. Baggy dropped his glass and Lindsay giggled. "Hi." she said. Bodie was beyong pissed and confused. He looked at Billy. "What the fuck Billy?" "What about Rose?" "That bitch oh she's not a problem anymore." Lindsay said making room on the right side of Baggy next to Billy. Joe cocked an eyebrow at Billy when he remained silent. His eyes were cold. Billy sat down and began rubbing Lindsay's knee. "So babe." he motioned his hands toward the boys. "This is Baggy he pointed next to him, and that his Heco, Spink,Jamie,Dog,Tommy,Joe,and Bodie." "You must be Billy's brother."she said sticking her hand out for Joe to shake.

"No thanks." he spat glaring her down. Billy looked surprised at his brother he's never turned down a touch from a blonde. He narrowed his eyes at Joe. Bodie shook his head at Billy his face covered with a look of pure hatred and disgust. "Ok."Lindsay said.

"Baggy so how was last night's fuck?" she giggled.

"What fuck?" I never- Billy shot Baggy a glare that told him to shut the fuck up. His face eyed everyone around the table giving them the same look. "Can't we get some fucking help around here?" Lindsay rudely hollered.  
"Yeah where is ya fuckin sister?" Billy asked looking at Baggy. A nameless waitress came over to the table. "What ya need?" she asked. "Wheres Lilly?" Baggy asked. "Oh umm... Mike is getting Lilly." the woman said unsurely.  
Billy nodded. "Ten beers, ten shots." he ordered. "Ok." she mumbled. Lindsay crawled onto Billy's lap and began to claw all over him. The waitress brought the beers and shots back. Everone quickly downed their shots and began working on their beers.

(End of Third Person P.O.V.)

It was another rainy night as Mike pulled up at the bar. I got out groaning. "Four glorious hours." I said sarcasm dripping off my every word. "Ah hang in there kid." Mike said putting an arm around my shoulder. "I'm far from a fucking kid."I said. "Ahh thats right someone's gonna be twenty-four in a few days."Mike stated. I smiled seeing Heco's car and Billy's parked right next to it. Mike and I entered the bar and the smell of it hit me like a ton of bricks. I walked behind the counter and I threw my red/burgedy apron on. I heard squealing and giggling from the back. "Ditz."I mumbled shaking my head. I heard a yell. "Hey wheres Lilly?" I heard Billy yell. I could tell he was far from drunk...yet. "Well I guess he wasn't bringing me to get my car early." I mumbled. I grabbed my tray and order pad, and I headed towrds his table in the back.

As I got closer excitement pulsing through me, I could see a blonde head of hair. The squealing and the giggling was coming from the guy's table. As I made it to the back my eyes widened,my stomach lurched, and a pain hit my heart like a ton of bullets. A lump formed in my throat, and my lip began quivering as tears flooded my vision. Not only was the giggling and squealing coming from Bill's table it was coming directly from Billy's lap. I felt dizzy and nauseous. Thats why he asked if I wasn't working. Thats why he was distant and rough. My chest rose up and down, I could hardly breathe. My body was shaking violently. Joe was laughing at something Bodie said when his head snapped up in my direction and the smile faded. His face looked sympathetic and sorry. They all knew they all fucking knew! My teeth clentched and Joe's eyes widened. Joe's eyes filled with tears as I shook my head at him. It takes alot to make a Darley cry. I then saw Bodie's face turn to Joe frowning. Joe's tear filled eyes were locked on me. Bodie turned his head and his eyes widened.

(Third Person P.O.V.)

"Yeah i'll bet fifty fuckin bucks that the shit hits the fan."Bodie said making Joe laugh while Billy was occupied with Lindsay. Joe turned his head to meet a pair of watery eyes. Oh shit he thought he could see Rose shaking. Teeth clentched shaking her head. She thinks that they all knew all along. Joe knew her. His heart ached he wanted nothing more than to fucking kill his brother and that whore right now. Why is Billy hurting her? Bodie looked at Joe still laughing he saw Joe's face and his tear filled eyes. Frowning Bodie looked to see what Joe was staring at. His eyes widened there stood Rose tears rolling down her cheeks, her body looking fantastic but shaking. What the fuck was wrong with Billy look at Rose why didn't he want her? Baggy's eyes came into focus with Rose and soon the whole table was quiet. Billy looked up. "What the fuck?" he asked. Everyone was quiet and when he looked at Bodie, Bodie bowed his head. He looked at Joe whose face was stained with tears and locked on something directly behind him. No no he thought. A lumped formed in Billy's throat. It can't be she's at home. Someone cut him out of his thoughts.

"Come on girl what are ya standing there for get them some drinks." Mike laughed. Billy's worst fears and thoughts were confirmed as Mike brought Rose over to the table right beside Lindsay's chair. Billy looked at her. Her hands were red from clutching the serving tray so much.  
Her make up was beginning to run down her face her very hott body was shaking. God she looked hott. Tommy spoke up. "Wheres Lilly I thought she was working tonight?"

" Nah she was but she called in sick at the last minute so I called Rose here and she said her car was here so I came to pick her up and"- Mike was cut off as Rose let out a whimper. Mike looked at her frowning. "Ya feelin alright Rose, ya shakin?" Her head stayed bowed. Lindsay snickered.

"Well now that the help is here i'm thirsty so I want another beer make that ten beers!" Lindsay said smirking.

Billy's eyes began to burn with tears his heart never hurt so much.

"Rose ya have to do ya job."Mike whispered.

"Yeah bitch so hurry up." Lindsay snickered.

Rose's head shot up and she took a step forward, Joe stood up. Mike grabbed Rose's arm.

"Rose I dunno what the fuck is going on but this job pays for me and you both to live, I care about your damn future so please just do ya god damn job!" Mike said.

(End of Third Person P.O.V.)

I let out an accidental whimper. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to feel this pain or hurt. The blonde snickered. "Well now that the help is here i'm thirsty so I want another beer she paused make that ten." she smirked. "Rose ya have to do ya job." Mike whispered. "Yeah bitch so hurry up"  
she smirked. My head shot up the nerve i'm gonna kill that bitch, I took a step forward. I saw Joe get up but Mike grabbed my arm.

"Please I dunno what the fuck is goin on but this job pays for me and you both to live, I care about ya damn future so please just do ya god damn job!"

I knew he was right it hurt so much but my future will not be ruined over some cheap whore.

"Umm ten beers." I choked out.

"Yeah." she said kissing Billy's neck.

My heart ached, scratching her order down I turned on my heel. Dizziness overcame me and so did my shakey legs. Mike caught me.

"Gah what a bitch haha been smoking some dope with the bartender sweety?" she laughed.

"Shhh calm down Rose it's ok." Mike cooed.

"Fuck you!" I snapped jerking out of his grasp.

I stomped over to the bar and slammed the order down. Sam, the bartender began with the drinks. As soon as he finished I delievered the drinks to Billy's table ignoring the hurt as they were making out and clawing all over each other. I set down the drinks. "Thanks." Joe,Bodie,Tommy,Baggy and the rest of the guys said." I nodded feeling betrayed and beyond hurt.

"Anything else?" I asked angrily.

"Yeah a new waitress you smell cheap what kind of poison are you wearing?" Lindsay laughed cruely.

My eyes watered she was hurting me purposely and Billy said or did nothing!

"This perfume is Billy's favorite, I think I smell good!" I defended angrily but with confidence.

She smelled like a cheap candy fruit! Cheap heels,blonde,long legs,tall, and thinner than me too!

"Billy baby you know the truth tell her!" she said biting at his earlobe.

"Actually Lindsay's got a point this is a bar not a strip joint, not that I don't love one."Billy laughed coldly.

I think my jaw hit the floor. My eyes filled up quickly as shock hit everyone of the guys at the table.

"Billy what the fuck?"Bodie spoke up.

"Yeah she smells hott."Tommy defended.

Baggy nodded his head in agreement. "Oh fuck ya guys are so high all the fuckin time you wouldn't know a cigarrette smoke smell from a cheap perfume."Billy replied. I turned away. Lindsay's hand purposely swung and hit her beer glass onto the floor making it shatter everywhere, some hitting my feet. "Oww."I spat.  
"Better clean that up!"she smirked. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I turned around. I went to the bar and got the dust pan and broom from behind the counter. I went back and cleaned up the mess. The night dragged on hardly anyone came in leaving Lindsay as I learnd her name was to torture me. Whether it was dropping a glass or spilling something purposely she would insult me. Anything and everything she could do to me she was doing to me. And by the time it got closer to the last hour of my shift my make up was smeared and my cheeks were raw and stained with tears as my eyes, red and puffy and burning from every new tear I cried.

"Ooh Rosie dear haha putting on a little weight like Roseanne I see."

"Yes?" I asked wiping the make up smudges and tears from my eyes.

"Can I have a shot of tequila?"

No one got drunk surprisingly. "Yeah." I said. I went and told Sam.

"Hang in there girl." Sam said handing me the shot.

I brought it back and I turned to leave when another glass fell beside me.

"Look here skank I know what your fucking playing at so you'd better STOP!"I spat.

Everyone looked shocked. Billy's eyes were red and sort of puffy. I turned around Lindsay took her heel and pushed me by my butt onto the floor roughly. My hands hitting the glass. "Shit!" I yelled. My hands were cut wide open. Chairs slammed as Joe,Bodie,Baggy, and Tommy came over to me.

"Fuck Rose your hands are cut wide open."Joe said.

Billy jumped up coming over to me and Lindsay fell off of his lap in the process.

"Thats Roselyn to you!"I spat at Joe meaning he couldn't call me what people who are close to me call me anymore. He looked hurt and I could see his lip quiver I got up and grabbed Lindsay by her hair. When Mike came running out.

"What the fuck is goin on here?"

"That bitch pulled my hair and called me a skank." Lindsay pouted faking tears.

"If she ever comes here again I swear i'll shut this fuckin place down!"

"Right after you told her to stop she started."Lindsay said smirking.

"What you bitch you started it!" I screamed.

"Look what she did." I said holding up my hands.

"Bullshit you fell in your cheap fuckin stripper heels."

"You better fuckin take care of her or I promise you this bar will be fuckin Sin City!" Lindsay spat.

"It already is." Bodie spat.

Mike sighed he turned to me.

"Rose?"

"Mike?" I asked not willing to believe what he was getting ready to say.

"Mike what the fuck she started this I-" "Rose he cut me off. I warned ya about ya temper towards the customers." "This is the third time."

"Three strikes and the whore is out." Lindsay said laughing cruely.

"I'm so so sorry Rose but I have to keep this bar on it's feet and I can't take anyone's threats lightly."

"Your fired!"Mike said.

"What?" I whimpered knowing it was coming but not really believing he would actually do it here and now.

"But my apartment,my career,my shift Mike please-" "I'll cover your shift tonight and I will until we get a replacement I'm sorry." Mike said.

"NO!" I said tears now pouring down my raw and red cheeks.

"I HOPE your bar burns down to hell!" I spat. I pulled off my apron and slammed it down. i turned sharply on my heel and walked over behind the bar. It was now completely silent with Sam looking at me his jaw hanging open. I grabbed my purse and I headed towards the door. Before I could leave Billy grabbed my arm.

"Rose?"

"Fuck YOU, how could you?" I screamed.

I grabbed a beer on the nearest table next to me and I poured it right on top of Billy. His face,his head,and his shirt all getting soaked. I took off running out of the bar and out into the pouring rain to my car. When I heard a door slam and heavy footsteps.

"Rose!" Billy yelled.

"What the fuck did ya do that for?"

He walked up to me grabbing my arm and without thinking I was replaying my hurt and pain I spat directly in his face. All the boys at the door froze. Joe looked beyond terrified. Oh god I thought. Before I had time to project what I just did Billy's right hand back handed me across my left cheek so hard I fell down. Everone froze their eyes widened with fear.

"Oh god Rose." Billy's eyes filled with tears.

I pulled myself up my hands burning, my lip and nose covered with blood. I grabbed my face!

"You finally did it Billy you hit me you bastard you fucking hit me!" I whimpered.

I started crying unable to control myself. Billy stepped forward. I pushed him back roughly.

"Your just like youe fucking father Bones!"

"You and your gang,your whore,and your fucking brother can go to hell!" I slapped Billy's left cheek it already being wet made the impact and the sound harder! I turned around and got in my car tires squealing I pulled out! Billy just stood there he couldn't believe he hit me he actually hit me. I pulled up into the apartment lot when I saw Bones in his car. I got out and so did Bones approaching me.

"Wheres Billy?" Bones yelled.

"No where but with his fucking WHORE!" I spat.

"Ah so Billy's datin Lindsay huh?"

"The Four Roses I assume?" Bones spat.

"Yeah." I whimpered.

"Someone sure took some shit out on ya tonight huh?"

"Whatever." I mumbled noticing the napsack Billy carried for drug dealings on the passenger seat of Bone's car.

"Maybe if I could just feel a little better." I said.

"What?"Bones asked.

"Hey Bones how much for some coke?" I asked.

Bones looked shocked. "Is there cocaine in there?" I said motioning towards the bag.

"Why the fuck do ya care?" he asked.

I pulled my wallet out from my purse and showed Bones two hundred dollar bills. "I'll take a couple of packets."

Bones smirked. "Little Rosise doin coke just like Alex now!"

"Are you selling or not?" I asked.

Bones reached in the car and grabbed the napsack."Come on!" he said motioning towards the alley beside the complex. He pulled two baggies of cocaine out.

"Ya need the supplies?"

I nodded then he pulled out another bag containg the supplies to snort it with.

"Here I handed him the money."

He handed me the packets, and the baggy. "Pleasure doin good buisness with ya Roselyn." "Ya need more ya know where to find me."

As Bones got into his car and left the complex I hid the contents under my arm and I quickly went inside and up to my apartment. Feeling like I lost everything and that nothing mattered I went and brought back a little silver candy tray dish. I dumped the contents out onto the tray. Tears filled my eyes am I really going to become a drug addict? I thought of my bastard father and slung a knick nak off my table at the wall. I dumped the drugs back into the packets and I trashed them. No way was I doing this. Hurting I went and layed down on my couch forgetting my soaked body and sliced open hands and my bloody face. But one thing I can't forget is my broken heart,soul,and body. I slipped off into sleep. 


	4. Chapter 4: Hitting the Floor

It had been seven disastrous hours of my attempt to sleep. I tossed, turned, and even woke up a few times. It made it to hard to go back to sleep and pretend that nothing every happened. Billy had his evening of first. Billy never brought her to the bar, he never lied to me, he never broke my heart, and he never hit me. What matters now? That bastard isn't even concerned anymore.

My job is gone; a big part of my life is gone. Hot tears filled my eyes as I pushed myself up off the couch. Searing pains shot throughout my hands. "Fuck!" I hollered. I was afraid to see the damage that last night had done to my hands. Against my better judgment I shakily brought my hands up. The sight almost made my stomach revolt. My hands were bleeding and cut wide open.

I walked over to my kitchen .As the previous night's events played in the back of my mind. I made my way to the fridge grabbing a bottle of water out my stomach to upset to eat.

I opened it and taking a big gulp I stared into the living room at the mess. The broken knick-knack lay on the floor, shattered into tiny pieces all over the hard wood floor. My gaze returned back down to my hands. The blood seemed to be all I could see coming through the large gashes; three across my right hand, and four across my left. Sighing deeply with an involuntary quiver of my lip I thought...

I needed to find a new job and fast before Alan found out I was unemployed and evicted me to the streets I tried so hard to stray away from. It's not like he'd cry for me, jack ass landlord from the start he was. I had done pretty well, cleaning up my party life, using my school degree, and there was no way in hell that I would go back to that life I once had. Running the streets, partying, and stripping. Last resorts I didn't plan to revisit. There's one thing I'll be damned if I do, crawling back to Mike's undeserving ass. I put five years into that bar, bending over backward helping him keep it on its feet.

He'll regret all right that mother fucker will regret it! I took off the heels that were still chilly attached to my feet. I twisted each foot around until it felt like I could walk. I made my way down the hall to my bathroom. I walked in and turned the shower dial on hot. I pulled off my leather pants that were sticking to me and slightly dirty from falling in the parking lot. ...Yeah I thought dirty upon Billy's hand colliding with my face sending me into the cement of the parking lot. I slipped off my shirt and bra and I shakily slipped off my panties.

I stared into the bathroom mirror at myself. I was beyond looking a mess. My hair was frazzled sticking up in ever direction and caked to my forehead. My eyes were smudged with black liner and the mascara cascading down my cheeks that were raw and stained with tears. The faint lines of the smoky eyes shadow remained on my swollen lids and my eyes were nearing bloodshot red. I walked over stepping into the warm water. As it sprayed down my body I immediately started scrubbing. Somewhere half through I had to stop and catch my breath, bracing my hands on the tile wall. My head was spinning and all I could see was red. I bought drugs... I bought drugs from Bones Fucking Darley! I slammed my hand into the tile wall knocking some loose. I growled upon the extreme burning sensation that struck throughout them.

I slid to the shower floor putting my knees to my chest where I began to cry loud and hard. I remembered the times where I would often have my breakdowns in the shower; it was where no one could hear me. Billy found me one night, and I would never forget the exact date it happened. The date being April 25th, 1998. I was 13- years old and Alex my so-called father had come home drunk and high making me his main target. I set at the kitchen table after just finishing my English assignment.

_I __was proud of my work, but Billy on the other hand was working on his self-project. Teresa Kidman, a blonde girl from our 7th grade classes. Billy was fourteen and well, what some would call for his age a little bastard nympho. He even landed himself in our many detentions together by hitting on the sub. He had already reached a height of 5'10' and his voice had begun to grow deep. I was short about 5'2' with oversized breasts I was quite developed. All the girls taunted and teased me they did it because I didn't let Billy touch me or do anything to me. I hadn't even kissed a boy, mostly because of my shy state._

_Even with Joe being 11 he'd kissed more girls than my whole class combined. Times like that I wondered why Billy stuck around me, why any of the guys did? I got up taking my bowl of half-full ramen noodles to the kitchen sink. I cleaned the dish out when I heard the door slam! I jumped immediately._

_I looked at the clock on the wall 9:00 P.M. it was too early for him to be back yet. I turned around and slowly crept my way into the living room and darted for the stairs. Making my way up them to my room, when a voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Well if it isn't my loving child, my daughter. " I froze automatically in my spot. You'd think the last ten years of beatings were enough, but no... Please no I thought. I turned around and my every limb started shaking upon seeing the glassy look in his eyes. I started to retreat back up the stairs when his voice made me halt to a stop once again. _

"_Where the fuck you think your going?" _

_I stayed turned around shutting my eyes; wishing, hoping, and praying to god he would pass out or just go the hell away! I opened my eyes when I didn't hear him anymore. When I turned around my brows slowly rose in confusion, but my body let out a ragged breath of relief. My eyes darted back and forth something wasn't right; where the hell was he? My stomach began to churn. I caught my senses and I whipped around quickly darting up the stairs. I heard heavy footsteps echo behind me. My throat closed up. Before I had the chance to turn around or react, a hand jerked on my hair so hard my scalp stung with pain. I didn't have time to grab onto the railing before my body flew backwards; my feet skipping the reversed two steps. I yelped out in pain as my ankle caught the crooked and jagged floorboard sticking up. It twisted my body causing me to crash into his body._

_He turned us forward; him angled forward, his right hand braced on the railing. His left hand yanked my hair backward, grabbing me by the back of my neck and threw me down the stairs my body crashing into a chair. "Ah." I immediately screamed. I grabbed onto a chair trying to pull myself up, when a sharp pain erupted through my hand. I cried out hearing the massive crunching sound. Alex came out in front of me grinning wildly_.

_His eyes darkened black with rage and fury. I knew that look all to well, I knew what I was in for, could it be the belt, cooking utensil? His right hand retched out and grabbed my ankle twisting it, and he began pulling me towards the rug in the middle of the living room floor. I let out a yelp grabbing onto the wooden chairs, them falling behind me as he drug my along. One chair I was able to grab hold of my nails digging deeply into the wood. I gritted my teeth realizing I had a firm hold. He came to a sudden halt still jerking roughly on my left ankle. "Gah." I growled hot angry tears threatening to spill from my eyes._

_He contorted someone dark and evil, his eyes looked red the veins throbbing on his fore head. "Let go bitch!" He growled lowly. His usual thoughts of what I was a bitch, a slut, a whore. His words were of choice apparently bitch was his tonight!_

_My eyes squinted into slits at him before I answered the one word that I had very few times said without screaming or in this tone of a deceptive voice. "No!" I growled back._

_My body began violently shaking; my lip was threatening to quiver. His eyes widened shock clearly written all over his face. It took him a few seconds to compose himself before his jaw clenched. _

"_Oh fucking really? You better fucking let go save yourself the extra trouble!" He spat his breathing hard and ragged. _

"_Oh you suddenly love me daddy?" I spat not going to stand down if this was what he's was going to do again I won't be a victim._

_My eyes filled up with tears before all became silent. All of a sudden he jerked my ankle forward so hard my body flew with it knocking over all the chairs on my side of the table. "No a don't!" I screamed kicking and twisting. He bent over me grabbing a fistful of my hair and yanked me up roughly by it! He threw me face forward into the couch; the impact made me grow dizzy. I groaned and whimpered before he grabbed my arm and pulled me up roughly, my face inches away from his._

"_The end of the line is here Roselyn! He spat glaring at my face. He picked me up and threw me into the wooden coffee table my arm catching the edge. I landed on my stomach trying to crawl away. Alex hauled off and kicked me in the ribs making me turn over on instinct. _

"_Ow." I whimpered._

_He proceeded to kick me once more then again, again, and again. Each blow became almost too much. By the time he reached fifteen he stopped suddenly. My cries only sounded like moans now. I turned my head to look up at him. He stood above me calm, his eyes still dark. He pulled me up by the damp collar of my now bloody t-shirt. He only spoke one word that made chills run down my spine, shoot pangs of fear through my heart. The one word that made every other beating or every other night's beating for trying to tell the police or some stranger for help, all those times. He spoke eerily, spitefully, and lowly._

"_Die!"_

_My eyes widened die he said die what no this, he can't do this. He thinks of me as her, I'm not I will never be my mother !He doubled back and punched me so hard in the face my head snapped back. My eyes saw dark patches. He still kept hold of me. He pulled his arm back again and punched me once more; he threw me down on the floor and stood back up. He raised his foot preparing to stomp down on my face and neck. My eyes widened with fear, my eyes spilled tears out._

_My voice caught in my throat, blood fizzling up. I thought about Billy and Joe how much I would miss them and the way they called me Rose. I even thought about Baggy and Bodie meeting them when we were five and the others at the mere age of six. His foot calm down, but... suddenly he flew back. I still could've sworn to this day I saw a blue sweater covered arm and a black dice tattoo. _

_The last thing I remember was Alex leaving and the door slamming. I let my head fall to the side and I remember seeing the time on the clock. 9:30 P.M. in big red letters. I let my eyes flutter shut the pain going numb. It hadn't been ten minutes until the increasing pounding in my head woke me up from my unconscious slumber. I looked at the clock it read 9:36 P.M. I blinked my eyes a few times before slowly lifting my head up. I winced at the pain that shot throughout my body and hand._

_I looked around, but I never saw Alex. I remember him leaving and I remember the blue covered arm and the black dices. I shook my head. "Must've left." I croaked out. Lightning flashed and I heard a rumble of thunder. I looked around nervously, when lighting flashed lighting the entire place up. I shakily grabbed onto the couch. I grit my teeth letting out two long screams. After two failed attempts, causing more blood to seep out onto my clothes I finally managed to pull myself up._

_I took two steps forward biting the scream at my bloody lips. I stumbled. I stopped and put my hands on my knees and painfully tried to rest my head to them to help the throbbing and ragged breathing. I cried out in pain and let the tears spill. I stumbled my way and limped up the stairs barely making it. I reached the bathroom door and pushed it open. _

_I turned the shower faucet on ice cold and pulled up on the lever water came spraying out of the head. I swung my leg over the side teeth chattering and blood dripping onto the floor and smearing to the side if the tub. I whimpered out loud in pain holding my sides. I reached out and pushed the door closed. Fully clothed I sat down directly under the water shivering._

_The icy feeling burned my skin at first. I took two deep breaths that burned, blood gurgling up with them, and I let out a scream as loud as my lungs would go over the water. I leaned my head back and rested it against the wall. I didn't know how much time had passed or how much blood I watched swirl with the water down the drain. My eyes began to see different colors._

_I stared blankly at the white tile floor; the cold finally set in. I heard a scuffle and a cluster of hushed voices. A soft whimper escaped my lips. I heard a door slam silencing the voices. I squinted thunder all I could hear. I heard the pounding of footsteps. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I saw the door swing open so fast it slammed into the wall snapping the door jam off!_

_I looked up and there he was... blonde ragged hair, dark jeans, black boots, black leather jacket, cross necklace, and those icy dark blue eyes. Even at a mere fourteen his stance was intimidating. It sort of looked like his lips were moving before I heard him shout. "Rose ,Rose are ya ok? No she's fucking bleeding Bodie! I don't care were getting here there! Go fucking start the car and get the heat running!" _

"_What the hell is going on?" I heard a high rugged voice ask._

"_Just stand back Joey!"_

_Billy reached forward and turned the faucet off. As soon as the sound went away I could hear my own whimpering and my teeth chattering. My body was soaked and cold, every time I shivered the jolt would make me want to scream! My hands were still holding onto my side._

"_Rose what happened to you?" I heard Joe ask._

_I looked up at him trying my hardest to speak, but when I opened my mouth a cry escaped it. I started crying. "He-he tried to kill me." I stated sobbing. _

"_Joe go in her room and under the damn bed get the black back!" Billy demanded._

_My black duffel bag for when I made quick escape routes four blocks over and through Billy's window. It held clothes, a pair of shoes, some nesses cities, and the pistol Billy gave me for my 12th birthday when he taught me how to shoot. Joe came back in with the duffel and Spink took it from him slinging it over his shoulder. "Get me a fucking blanket Spink!" Billy ordered._

_Without hesitation Spink left and in one quick moment he returned with a flannel blanket I kept on my bed. _

"_Drop the bag and get the hell out!" Billy commanded once again._

_Spink let the bag hit the floor and kicked it forward with his foot. They all left shutting the door._

_Billy reached into the tub and scooped me up with a surprising gentleness. He sat me on his knees, my tears still pouring. He put a finger under my chin. I beat him to the words. _

"_I was so scared I thought I was going to loose you." I breathed into his ear._

_He rubbed my back. "Shhh were fine, but you got to raise your arms up Rose! I know it's going to fucking hurt, but I have to get ya warm!" _

_He yanked the zipper on the bag down. I lifted my arms up and Billy lightly pulled my now from white red t-shirt off. I winced and his eyes raged as he saw the places on my stomach beginning to turn purple. His hands were gentle when he took the button from my jeans. My whimpering echoing off the walls. "Shhh." he whispered_.

_He removed my jeans. Helping me into dry clothes, my cries getting louder. He wrapped the blanket around me and picked me up. Everything after that was sort of a haze. I only remember the cold air of the night, Billy driving surprisingly well yet reckless. The noises and monitors of the hospital, the doctor and nurses hovering around me. And most of all the phone call by the police made to the doctor who told Billy that the police found Alex dead._

_The next morning was when it all sunk in. He must've gone back after the boys brought me here. He was found dead with a syringe, which right away concluded to be heroine. He finally had an overdose. I was happy he was out of my life, but the tiniest part of me was grieving. Billy couldn't understand it, but he took me in hid me in his room with him and Joe. _

_Mostly though I stayed with Baggy, Lilly, and their somewhat decent mother so that Bones wouldn't find out about me and make me 'earn' my keep. I stayed with them until I turned sixteen. That night of April that will be the night I never forget!_

I looked up and laid my head sideways on my knees and finally let myself cry.

**(Joe's P.O.V.)**

I sat here at the kitchen table sipping on a cup of black coffee, my foot tapping against the floor. My head hurt with a massive hangover and my eyes burned from all the fucking tears I cried last night. Shit was falling apart and I had to listen to Billy and his whore all night long when they decided to crash at my place uninvited. In other words to fucking drunk to drive home. What could I do too Billy?

He was my brother and he's taken care of me. So who the fuck am I to disrespect him? However I'll be damned if he controls everything I do. He could point a gun right now to my head and I wouldn't give two shits! He wants to fuck up his life he can, but he's not going to fuck up mine! We lost her trust, Rose the only person to ever give two shits about any of us. On top of that he hit her, he hit her hard. Even after everything she's suffered from abuse and witnessed he still did it. Maybe this was the monster people saw the one they talked about. Was this the Billy Darley they feared , gang lord? I still remember last night. She told me to call her Rose, looked me in the eyes when she said it. She's stubborn, and I'll never forget how long it took me to gain her acceptance and the privilege of calling her Rose. Rose was something she could call herself, something she took of the name she hated to accept from her whore of a mother 'Roselyn'. Only people that gained her trust, took a few tough times, punches for her could call her that. I slung the cup of coffee against the wall the glass shattering everywhere, coffee splattering what couch I had left.

I heard heavy footsteps come down the hallway. It was Billy. He came out wearing only his jeans, buckle hanging apart. He looked at the glass on the floor along with the coffee stains. "What the fuck Joe? Lindsay's sleeping." He growled harshly.

I noticed his eyes were extremely red he had a bruise on his jaw line. I smirked Rose had bruised him when she slapped him. His face was cold and hard.

"I don't see why the fuck you had to bring that bitch here? You have your own fucking place!" I snapped.

Billy's head snapped up. "What the fuck is your problem Joe?"

"My fucking problem is that whore asleep in my goddamned bed! I don't know who the fuck she is or what the fuck your problem is, but I'm fucking done! When You hurt Rose you fucking drew the line!" I yelled stepping forward.

Billy growled and he stepped forward as well. He was testing me and I wasn't backing down. He wants a fucking Darley I'll show him one!

"Joe you better tone it the fuck down!"

"Or what Billy huh? You gonna fucking hit me too? Tell more fucking lies!" I said lowly stepping forward. He took another step our faces inches apart.

He was breathing raggedly I was breathing hard. I took a step back and he grabbed my arm. I yanked it back. I grabbed my white shirt and slung it on with my red leather jacket. I grabbed his keys. "Where the hell are you fucking going?" He spat his glare ice cold.

"To fucking check on Rose is that oh-fucking-k?"

"Not in my fucking car!"

"Well come on then big brother of mine fucking stop me then!" I said glaring.

He stood there and sighed deeply. His nose snarling, he sniffed tilting his head back. I was prepared for him to break my fucking hand before I put one foot in his precious fucking mustang. He nodded "If you fucking wreck it Joe..." he trailed off. What? My brows rose and it was my turn to scrunch my nose. He agreed to let me take the car? I didn't understand what the hell his problem was? " Hurry the fuck up! he said retreating back down the hall. Without another glance I left slamming the door. I had to talk to Rose I just had to. My head was spinning as I put the key in the ignition. My hands gripped the wheel and as fast as I could pulled out of the lot!

**Please review guys it took mt 4 long months to come out of the whole I was. I got a beta reader and got on this. :) Hope you enjoy it.**


	5. Chapter 5

_**All right everyone sooo I have updated. Hope you like it. It's a little suttle for now, but I promis you the next chapter Lindsay will get her's and Billy will get his. Chapter 6 is Rose's b-day pt.1 of 2! Enjoy this all! xxxxxxxx-Kris.**_

**_QUICK DISCLAIMER: LYRICS USED AT THE END BELONG TO CELINE DION! THE SONG IS ENTITLES "EYES ON ME" FROM HER NEWEST ALBUM TAKING CHANCES!_**

_**Chapter five:We Can't Just Be Here! We Can't Just Get Over It! So What Are We Going to Do?**_

I was finally able to pull myself up and out of the shower. Legs shaking, I grabbed a hold of the side of the tub to avoid falling and doing anymore damage to myself. Who fucking cares? I swung one leg over whimpering in pain because my hands bloody, split open and raw were the only tools on my body that I could use to leverage myself. I got out of the tub the coldness from the tile floor hitting my feet. I stood up fully, shaking and shivering. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My lungs and chest burning with what felt like a cold raging fire.

Water began to run off my body onto the floor. I just stood there looking into the mirror yet again. Staring at the wet hair, dripping and stuck to my neck and cheeks. A few cuts on my body from the falls I'd had to endure last night. All in all I looked like shit run over more than twice. I kind of looked like I fell down the B Street Park Hall stairs into a mud pile, and was hit by a biker then a car and fell back into the mucky puddle. My face was still raw and my eyes were to numb to cry.

I didn't want to move, but I did want to scream. I picked up the fluffy white towel dangling over the silver, cresset towel wrack. I dried my face hissing as the fluff of the towel's mere touch made the bruise and cut on my face sting like mad. "Shit ss!" I hissed.

I touched the bruise and removed my hand: no blood at the moment. I didn't quit sighing at this point. I had sighed about every five seconds. I couldn't cry anymore, the occasional quivering of my raw and sore lips when I moved them.

I didn't really know what to do with myself. I sat down on the toilet lid and rubbed my hands together. "Ouch! Fuck!" I bellowed. I looked at the wall clock hanging in the bathroom: it read 11:20 AM. I replayed some of last night's events over in my head; I needed a new job and fast. I had nothing better to do today anyways and who knows maybe without Billy Darley and friends on my ass things would get better for me. Hopefully better in time. I heaved my last sigh before standing upright. Only to collapse onto the floor again. As I set there my head swirled, everything in my vision was appearing to whiz past me.

I grabbed my stomach, which felt rock hard and solid, hunger not even being known. It felt like I was carrying an eight pound rock. Nothing could fit down my throat not even a drop of water. "Oh, oh no." I croaked. I scooted quickly on my knees over to the toilet; my knees instantly felt cold when they hit the bottom front of the porcelain. I lifted the lid up and threw my head over the open seat just in time to dry heave into it. All that came from my mouth blood, lots of blood, fluid, and basically nothing more. I hadn't consumed anything else to throw up. I coughed roughly a few times as my throat burned. "Ah god." I moaned out, wiping my mouth off. I got up trying to steady myself a little. I closed the lid and flushed. I pulled open the bathroom door and a burst of warm air hit me. I was used to the bathroom's cold temperature. I looked at my bedroom door and turned the other way. I looked down at my feet first, and my ankle had a bruise on it. My muscles pulled tightly in my shoulders and they heaved out. "God damn it, god damn it."

I pulled my hands up to my face and started crying into them. "Dammit Billy, dammit!" I let the burning in my throat rise before I let out a loud scream. It was then that I heard a loud crackling boom, like the breaking of wood.

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**(Joe's P.O.V.)**

I didn't know how many fucking blisters were forming on my fingers right about now, must've been within the last five minutes that my cigarette had caught the tips of my fingers. "Fucking bitch!" And with that I flipped the last two hits out the fucking window. I really didn't know what Rose would be in at this state. I mean I know her really well, but not like Bodie does, or not like my brother especially. No one can beat that! Billy is a son of a bitch! He just doesn't realize how lucky he is to have someone in love with him even after he does all that shit. Someone who can put up with it, someone who has been through over half of what we have. If I have to be the one to get her back for us then I'll fucking do it.

Didn't really know the deal with this new skank he came with. Blonde, big boobs, cheap smell. Maybe for one night I'd tap that, but in all honestly I didn't want girls like that. And mark my word girls. Woman, they are what I want. See the difference between me and Billy is that he'll fuck anything with a vagina and willing lips, hell he'll even put a bag over a dog bitch's head if she can suck the stick right. But me I don't want that. Feels good yeah, but really if he's this big ass lord then doesn't he deserve someone who can stand by him? The difference between a girl and a woman in this world, and real life is that a girl can turn tricks and suck a few good dicks, take money, flaunt some flowered panties and abuse her babies while soaking up a heroine needle and bottle feeding at the same time.

A woman is someone that will have natural hair. Use her brains not her cleavage. Keep those lips for licking. Wait on straight down kneeing. Save the tricks for the private rooms. Work for her money. Wearing some real lacey numbers. And the only needle she'd be using is one to sow or nit them babies something. In this world you see a lot of girls who think there woman, but fucking doesn't make you a woman, doing drugs to avoid any and everything doesn't make you a woman. It's really hard to get a perspective in this life and though half Billy's men think I'm a kid for it then so be it. It doesn't mean I won't stop fucking hookers, but it doesn't mean I'll be fucking the same one or popping some sort of fucking question. If those bitches want to do it then leave the kneeling for the hookers who will bend!

Rose she never was a whore drugs yes. Took all of us to get her out of them. Only Heco is heavy on drugs, the rest of us we don't need an everyday needle to get us by. You'll never understand this life unless you live in it, deal with it. Not even walking to get your own mail if someone doesn't steal it is very fucking safe at all! Finally I pulled into the lot. As I got out some man in a white shirt yelled out to me. "Hey punk don't you fucking see the NO PARKING sign." He yelled.

I walked forward huffing. "What the fuck did you say to me?" He took one look at me from head to toe before stepping back.

"Satisfied you fucking queer eye?" I smirked.

" Darley." Was all he growled out?

"That's right shit head." I corrected this bastard.

Billy doesn't even know how ready I will ever be to prove myself. Of course he doesn't even realize how lucky he is to have Rose wanting him.

"Would've thought it would have been that fat bastard of yours comin round here again." He spoke slinging a black trash bag into the green rusted bins.

"What the fuck did you say?" I yelled out.

"After ol Rosie came home last night I was ah what do you say coming back from my hott bitch you know how that goes?" He looked cocky.

I rolled my eyes. "And shit face?"

"Ah better be talking nice little Darley or I won't tell you about her alley visit with Papa Darley and how I can call the cops on her ass for messing with that shit around here."

"Go fuck yourself! You know exactly that she is the only one who pays her rent around here so you can take her money and visit some fucking corn on the cob porn shop."

His smile faltered when I said that. Inside my blood was boiling that Bones came near her, but also my heart started beating at a fast pace at all the things leading to her being in that alley with Bones could mean. "Fucker." I spoke before walking off.

I trudged up the stairs and when I got to her hallway I started walking faster until I reached her door, apartment 213. I raised my hand to knock, but turned around my back against the door forgetting that she thinks I am involved in all this mess. I leaned my head back banging it a few times before I heard a loud muffled cry and a scream. It choked me up and adrenaline rushed through my brain, all I was thinking is Bones has hurt her. I pulled, but it was of course locked. I used all my strength and shoved my shoulder into the wood harshly before it flew open wood flying out along with the top hinge. When I looked to her my heart broke into a million pieces. It was the worst that she ever looked. It was the worst I had ever seen.

She was standing there just from the entrance of her hallway, in front of the wall. Shaking. "Roselyn." I lowly spoke out, with caution. Her body was a little wet and her hair was dripping. She was in a towel, hands curled at her side. "Y-You." I stuttered out. "Are you, Rose are you ok?" I spoke at a loss for words.

She tilted her head at me before glaring. She surprised me when her expression went soft. "Joe?" She whispered softly.

I looked at her before my bottom lip quivered. "Rose are you ok?" I asked more firmly taking a step towards her. When she stepped back my hands started shaking a little. I rubbed my hands up and down my pockets trying to get rid of the sticky little puddles of sweat that formed in my palms and began spreading throughout both hands. It took me a few good seconds to see her, really see her in this state. She had a cut on her right ankle, a bruise just below it. Her cheeks were a dark pink color, with a cut from where I am guessing Billy had smacked her.

Her eyes were bloodshot red inside and just below them were dark circles, black bag-like looking. "Joe?" She spoke again, only whimpering. I myself didn't know what to do at this point. Walk over to her and risk her smacking the shit out of me with her famous temper following. Or stay over here like a fucking coward while she stands there looking hurt and unsure herself. Option one is a lot better, not like I couldn't handle a smack, it'd be a well deserved one anyways. I looked at her before taking a light step forward. When I saw her look to the floor, but not move, I let my second footstep get heavier and then I took two strides meeting her halfway across the room. We stood maybe six inches apart. She didn't want me to close I could tell.

"My god Rose." I said. She only bowed her head at me. "Look Joe-" She spoke, but as quickly as she spoke her hand was over her mouth and she was whipping around down the hallway and into the bathroom, knocking the door open so hard it hit the wall. My eyes widened a little. God she was a fucking mess, a real fucking mess. I paced down the hallway and stuck my head carefully into the doorway. She set sideways on her thighs, with one hand on the bottom of the toilet and the other on the lid. Her hair sprawled out around her shoulders dripping. Her head flew up and she gasped for air, clutching her chest. She gagged and her eyes rolled up a little and then her head flew back into the toilet. Violent heaves were all I heard.

I didn't care what she'd think at the moment, but I stepped forward quickly and grasped her wet hair into my hands, holding it back for her. She really does make us Darley's have a fucking soft spot. I had counted in my head not being able to do anything, but that. It was five minutes before she lifted her head up gasping for air. "Fuck..." I heard her whisper to herself. She flushed and stayed in the position over the toilet. All I heard was the sound of her dripping wet hair hitting the plastic cushion toilet lid. Without warning she pulled from my grasp. She got up and walked over to the sink washing her hands, dowsing them with soap. After rinsing she threw some mouthwash into her throat. She gurgled and rinsed. I lifted myself up from the cold stone floor and stood there.

She was trembling with her back turned to me and hand son the sink, squeezing it tightly. She turned to look at me, before breathing deep. Her eyes started to water the blue in them shining through darkly. "Get out! Now!" She ordered me firmly. "I don't fucking know why you came here, or damaged my damned door, but I don't care! I want you gone now, and drop my fucking name Darley. You understand?" She spat out, huffing. The tone in her voice was so cruel it frightened and hurt me a lot. I wasn't going to budge and she wasn't going to get to accuse me of something I didn't do. She has to know. She does deserve to. "No Rose!" I stated firmly.

"Excuse me jerk wad?" She asked in disbelief.

"You heard me Princess. I said no! I'm not going anywhere when your like this and I am not leaving without telling you the fucking truth about last night!"

"Joe so help me god If you don't-"

"What, if I don't what?" I cut her off.

"The I'll have you arrested for breaking & entering! Trespassing on public fucking property! And oh yeah, the fucking fact that I know you and your brother sell drugs!" She smirked back, not having a single look of remorse, but a spark in her eyes. It startled me and I felt my blood get colder. She wouldn't dare, not go this far after everything, to all of us.

"Oh yes I will Joe. Mark my fucking words. I'm tired of being underestimated, being everyone's fuck buddy, dog shit. I'll point out the real shit and have it where it belongs. In a cage with itself, dogs. Nobodies. Try me ass- whole and see where it gets you."

"How fucking dare you!" I raised my voice up.

"How fucking dare I? How fucking dare I? "She asked in a shocked tone. "How fucking dare you. The one group of fucking people, the three most important people I thought I could trust proved to be just like the rest of this cold hard world. I should have woken up and saw it." She was now screaming at me. With her fist raised. She was now three inches away from me, with tears leaking out quickly. Her voice went louder. "You and Billy at least I thought, or you, but Billy he, I- FUCK! She screamed out falling into the wall and gasping for air again. "Don't!" She yelled out as I came to help her up. "You and Billy I thought I could always count on. I loved you both so much, I put my life on the line, and we all got sober helping one another. I don't understand how one hoe could- could." And then she just looked to the floor, tears falling from her lashes as she looked back and forth.

"It's me, My so-called dad. Alex he was right. God, oh god, O-H- M-Y G-O-D ." She choked out. Her bottom touched her knees before she fell into the floor. Her voice came out tearful, breathless and strained. "Oh god, why doesn't he want me? Why doesn't anyone want me? What is so wrong with me?"

My heart was breaking into pieces. "Oh god Rose. Stop honey please stop." I couldn't believe the fucking max Billy had driven her too. She was having an emotional breakdown; I didn't notice anything of our surrounding as of now, but her. I scooted over to her. "No." She shoved me away. "Don't hold me Joe. Don't now! You lied you lied you lied."

"Shh Rose stop, you gotta stop or you're going to have a heart attack. She started laughing cruelly. "So what? It's not like you'd care, no one would. If I died I'd be out of the fucking way for you all, all saint Darley's of Boston fucking Massachusetts. My heart thudded with unrealistic disbelief. I looked at her, with my mouth open. "Is that what you fucking think?"

"No it isn't what I fucking think you dumb ass whole! It's what I fucking know!"

This time moisture built up behind my eyes. Great tears fucking tears over someone again. I wasn't supposed to do this. Was I supposed to even give a fuck? Her name-calling stung more than usual because it was her tone. And the way she was saying it. "You think we all want you to fucking die huh? Billy was right you are so fucking stupid, so very stupid!" I yelled before I had time to think. She looked at me. Her jaw tightened and those raw cheeks flared out. "Bastard!" She yelled before launching upward and forwards. She it me with surprising speed. We both fell to the cold floor. I fucking hate you Joseph Michael Darley! How could you do this to me?" She screamed, until I whirled up and grabbed her wrist. "Rose!"

She jerked violently on my knees. Her breathing flared up again. "Let go of me. Let go!" She screamed once more. She ripped herself from my grasp and I went forward trying to tackle her to the floor before she hurt herself anymore. Everything was spinning out of control. She threw her hand back and launched it at me face smacking it sharply. She started swinging both hands at my cheeks; sharp slaps piercing my skin from one cheek. To the other. Repeatedly. And her breathing was beginning to get heavier. Sweat glistened from her. The bone below her neck flew in and out. It can't be good. Each time her attempts at slapping me failed. And I kept coming closer she panicked. Her hands went away from my face; she jumped up and ran from the bathroom into her room. She threw the door shut, but I had pushed myself up and flew to the door jamming my foot in just in time to keep it from closing all the way.

"No!" She grunted.

"Yes." I growled back. "Rose let me in, stop this shit now! You're going to hurt yourself babe please." I pleaded my voice weary with her. Her arms must have bent in a tired moment because the pressure on the door let up. And I kicked it open with my foot. She looked around and went for a curling iron on the table. I beat her to it; I grabbed it up and slung it across the room. She charged again. This time I grabbed both of her wrists. "No." She begged. She threw her self around and kicked. She screamed and I bent her arms firmly into mine. "Shh." I tried to get out. My voice was quivering as well. "You don't care! I saw it last night none of you do." She whimpered out and just like that we fell to the floor. She jerked more and more until I pulled her violent, trembling body around to my chest.

"No stop it get the fucking hell of me!" She screamed.

"Rose calm down, come on please!" I pleaded with her. It was like her wild drug-like behavior was resurfacing. It was then that I really saw what effect this life has on people. Especially someone who should have been taken to a foster family who could give her a life. A good one. She wouldn't even remember us maybe. She wouldn't be going through this. She fought and kicked at me. Her bare feet were behind her. The towel clung to her barely. Her breathing increased. Her fist raised to my chest and began beating as last attempts to stop my stronger form from holding her down. She didn't like being held down or touched a lot. After Alex had abused her all those years it took her a little while to let any of us hug her even. It was then I gained an up most respect for my older brother. He knew about her he just knew. She couldn't hide from him. Just like she knew what Bones did to us. We then found out the extent of what Alex was doing to her. Billy had helped her be able to have physical contact and trust again. Looking at him now I can't ever see that teen he once was, hell the man then. The man I see now. I have never told Rose the respect I have for her. She knew about my mother, she knew Billy before any of us. She grew up with him. To see what he had turned into must be twice as hard for her.

She knows how hard it is to watch what he does. Sometimes it was hard for me to see my brother do the things he did and still does. But there's nothing that can be done. Not sure now if loosing the power is worth going back for. Not like any of us would. Feeling power is something more than the usual boost it or any heroine can give you.

With one last failed attempt she went limp into my arms. She cried into my chest, the sounds were muffled. After a few seconds she raised her head to me. Just below my chin I could see her. She was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen or met. "Why doesn't anyone want me Joey?" She whimpered softly. "Mom, Alex, Billy, The guys, You, no friends, not even family want to claim me. What is so wrong with me?" My heart fell out of my chest and broke into a million little tiny ass pieces. "Jesus Rose. You got it all wrong about me baby. I do want you no matter what. Why would I come here? I didn't know about Lindsay until last night. None of us, but Billy did I swear? He let me take the fucking car to see you. I stood up to him Rosie. I fucking swear on my dead ass mother's god damned grave that we didn't know. I didn't know! Billy made us keep our mouths shut. Bones knows something I swear to god if he hurts you."

She looked up at my face. "Really?" She whimpered. "None of you knew?"

"No!" I stated firmly, brushing some of her hair back. " Your the best fucking thing any of us will ever have and if Billy is to fucking dick headed and stupid too see that well then that's him. But me, Bodie, the boys. We always fucking want you. Do you understand me Roselyn?" I spoke firmly, my eyes letting a tear slip out. She brushed it away. "Yeah."

And with that she laid down into my lap and let some more tears go. Confrontation, tears raw emotions. Letting all of that out was never supposed to hit from a Darley, hell from any man. But at this state I guess being a man means telling the truth to someone who risks all her shit for you. I set there quietly, rubbing her back in circles every few moments. I was afraid of touching her too much. Her breathing was slowly down little by little. I leaned my head back and sighed. My throat felt dry and kinda clogged. Her back started shaking with whimpers. She'd stop a little, her cries would die down, but then her back would tense and she'd sigh before her cries got louder than the last ones. Each time it would rip into me. I didn't like caring so much; I didn't like feeling responsible for her happiness. I didn't want any of this responsibility! It passed my head at time that she and my brother raised me. Sometimes I wonder why they even cared? Sometimes I don't care what they did for me. I'm torn between the two. I want to impress my brother more than anything I want to finally be a part of the gang does does. I want him to offer me a chance.

Because I belong there I know I do, but I look at Rose and I see something that I can't even think of. I see her hidden innocence and then I see myself a little. Her Joey. Most guys would kill to fuck a beauty like her. She's here and vulnerable right in front of me. I'm her hero right about now. I downed Billy sold him out, just for her sake. And if I wanted her right now I know I could have her. And the worst thing is that I am not feeling a damn bit guilty. If I want to fit into Billy's world then I have to loose Rose. I'd fucking kill for some coke right about now. That little powdered substance makes me a man in my head, it takes me away from all this shit for hours. "Joey?" She asked aloud, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah." I said.

"I'm sorry for..." She trailed off.

"For what baby?" I asked a little confused. Rose never apologizes, which is why she clashed with Billy a lot growing up. Another reason why I know he cares for her a hell of a lot more than he lets on.

"For putting you in this position. Making you think you owe me back by picking me up off the fucking floor." She stated, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. I reached over and pulled the leather up on my jacket and used my sleeve to wipe away the tears. "I chose to put my fucking self in this shit Rose." I stated.

She half smiled at me through her tears. "You always were my favorite blanket." She whispered.

"Now don't go getting all fucking sappy on me." I said, with my eyebrows raised.

She laughed for the first time since I'd guess would be a few days. "What-the fuck- ever." She said throwing her arms around me. She sighed into me and laid my chin on her shoulder smelling the fresh scent of her now lightly damp hair. She pulled away and looked at me. "What?" I asked.

She leaned up and kissed my cheek and then moved to the other. Her hand brushed across the raw spots on both of them. "Sorry for that." She squinted.

"Don't be, but fuck if you need to take out some fucking anger on someone why don't you try Heco's lame ass." I half groaned, while rubbing the back of my head.

"Not a bad idea." She laughed, but the laughter died down until silence filled the room. Her fingers were clutched tightly around her towel. I noticed the towel was stained with red. "Fucking hell Rose." I spoke out staring directly at the cut up knuckles.

"Huh?" She spoke dazed; her face was full of confusion. I motioned at her hands. She tried to play it off as me being a pervert; normally she'd be right, but at the moment I didn't even notice the fact. "God Joe you're cheap."

"Rose don't fuck around. What the fuck did that bitch do to your hands?" And apparently Lindsay was a sore subject still grazing the wounds that went beyond physical to Rose. Her eyes started to fill up clearly. I started to get up. "I'm fine now." She stated, motioning me with her hand to stop. "It's not that bad really." She lied.

"Then why is blood all over the front of your towel?" I growled. "If she messed them up that fucking bad I'll break her fucking neck!"

"I sort of took a couple jabs at my shower this morning." Rose said, bowing her head.

"Punched the damn tile out?" I asked.

She nodded. "But that didn't do the most damage I don't think. Possibly done more, but." She spat looking toward the ground. "Rose she was fucking wrong-" She cut me off.

"Don't Joe. I'm not, just don't talk about that bitch at all ok?" Rose asked, still looking to the ground.

I sensed her nervous habit in the way she kept stuttering over her words. "All right." I got up off the ground and bent down again. I avoided her hands carefully and pushed her arms up, lifting her up off the floor and setting her onto the bed. She smiled silently to me. "Are you ok? Need anything baby?" I asked. "Because I am fucking starved." I spoke, rubbing my stomach. In truth I was. That made her face light up a little bit. "Uh not really. Maybe later, but we can grab some lunch if you want." She said.

"So your inviting me to lunch with you after you called me a fucking bastard?" I was trying to make her smile. I can charm the fuck out of any woman, why not play my cards right when I can?

"I invited you didn't I you fucking bastard?" She lightly smiled.

I rolled my eyes a little. "Well fuck it's almost noon let's go then." I growled, getting up and striding over to the door.

She shook her head at me and raised up off the bed. She hissed in pain forgetting about her hands for now.

"Get out!" She simply spoke. I looked at her cockeyed. "Nah I really don't want to Rosie." I snickered, walking around her and plopping down on her bed.

She looked to me, with her hands on her hips. I saw her teeth grind up as she did so. She walked over to me and slapped my face. My hand went to my cheek automatically and rubbed the dull soreness that combined with the other marks. "Mother-fucking jeeze Rose."

"Don't you ever call me Rosie again or I'll be kicking, mark: kicking and not slapping your balls!"

I nodded. "Oh sorry."

"Joe can we uh hurry please." She spoke, tapping her foot on the floor.

"Yeah." I got up and opened the door to her room, coldness coming in. I smiled at her before closing the door. I made my way into her kitchen to see if she had anything to tide me over. I rubbed my stomach, wondering about the slow metabolism. _Could be your lack of gym and running workouts dumb ass!_** I nodded** and opened the fridge. I saw nothing, but water and healthy crap. I slammed my head into the door, but pulled out water anyway. I decided to look for anything alcoholic in her cabinets. Has to be noon somewhere. That thought made me smirk. Must be something around here with all the shit she goes through. I opened the first few cabinets and nothing. I sighed and opened the water, walking into the living room as I heard the hair dryer.

I strode over and plopped myself down in the chair. Pleased at my success of getting her back to me. _Let's see Billy do that._ I sighed and broke the seal on the water taking a drink. It wasn't Jack or Beer, but I had to admit it tasted good and cleared by dry throat. I looked around at the clean place before spotting something in pieces on the floor. In pieces? I got up frowning and walked over to the shattered blue colored pieces on the floor. I bent down and my chain hit the floor. I picked up the remaining shreds of what looked like a bear glass thingy. I turned it in my hands and looked to the glass shards on the floor. There was a scrape in the wall. I sighed and looked to the floor. Must've been hell for her last night. I placed my left palm on the floor and swept the pieces up into my hand and went into the kitchen. I looked for the trash until I spotted it under the bar. I pulled it out and pulled the full bag out. The side ripped and to much shit for my liking fell out. "Fuck."

_I really need to stop doing this. Make some other fuck take trash out. _Red cups and a few bags fell out. I picked them up and tossed them back in. I sighed and huffed, picking up the last heavy item and throwing away the broken glass. I looked at the item in my hand. It was a metal candy dish. The only way I recognized this was that Heco has one on his living room table. I threw it up on the counter top and something fell off the bottom. I looked to it on the floor. _Oh shit! Fuck! Bones. Alleyway. _My eyes widened in shock as I picked up the little white baggy off the floor. A couple good grams of cocaine were in the palm on my hand. Something that I needed deeply at times, but something that was in Rose's trash, open and half-empty. I heard a door open and close before I pulled up quickly. I stuffed the little white packet in my back pocket. Someone needs to know what the fuck is going on and that Rose is buying from Bones!

*************************************

Joe had basically just taken all my shit, I thought slipping on my last article of clothing. I didn't want to face anything remotely close to the truth, especially this. Time to make a new filling for my heart._ Get it together. Breathe. You don't anything, but yourself to do this. Today is a new day._ I opened the door to my bedroom and walked out grabbing my bag. Joe was standing in the kitchen with a pale face, the full water bottle crushed beneath his hand. "Joe you okay?" I asked.

He looked up at me. "Hell yeah you prettied up now?"

I nodded and walked over to the side inn table draw and dug through numerous papers. "Ah hah." I spoke, pulling out the one I spotted, that I wanted. It was a spare resume that I always kept as a backup. I'd learned over the years that you always need something to do with back up in your life. Never know when you're going to need it. I stuffed the paper in my bag and left the apartment with Joe. He was suddenly tense, why I didn't know. I followed him silently until I saw what car he was driving. I hesitantly took steps to it wondering why Billy would ever let him use it. Unless he had balls to steel it? And I highly doubted that. I didn't fight Joe, but he nodded for me to get in. We rode silently. Joe looked uncomfortable in his seat, his pants creaking on the leather every time he squirmed.

He finally got the courage to speak and then I wished he'd have shut his mouth. "Did something go in with you and Billy the night before? I mean you left in a fucking tangle." He stated, looking to me from the corner of his eye. I sighed in deeply. I wasn't ready to tell him that Billy almost raped me, with the exception of me saying no. I didn't say no, so I'd had to face that Billy just took whatever the fuck he needed to take out on me that night. I didn't want to think too much about anything why last night. I bowed my head. "I don't know Joey really I don't." And he then shut up he didn't press. I didn't speak. Joe put aside his lunch for me to hit a couple of places with hiring signs in their window, but like I'd predicted and tried to avoid. They all said no when they looked at that one unavoidable detail on my resume. How I grew up and my history. Even some didn't take the paper from me; they gave me the once over, or looked out side to the mustang and shook their heads, shoving the paper in my face.

It was about 1:30 by the time I'd finished my afternoon of rejections and no's sorry were not hiring anymore. I was exhausted, pissed and my hands were starting to rev up in the pain I couldn't even hide anymore. Let alone deny that they were fine. Still bleeding I highly doubted that they were. Joe had kept his mouth shut and not mentioned food. His phone hadn't even rang yet. If he even had it with him. The incident this morning I expected it to ring off its ass. I was hungry and I knew he was, grabbing his stomach every now and then. "Joe let's stop and have lunch K?"

He smiled for the first time since the beginning of this ride. He pulled into a green looking building immediately. "Just put it in. Lily was saying it was supposed to be some new bar and grill. Wanna go in?" I nodded.

We'd entered the restraunt and I had to admit it was beyond nice. Black ceiling fans hung above us and marble counters swirled all around the bar. I saw a staircase and looked up into a blue glass skylight. Plants were setting on every perch. The tables were a golden wood and the chairs were brown leather. This place looked and smelled a hell of a lot better than the Four Roses. Joe smiled at me as we found the first table we saw and set down. I sighed relief. He tapped his fingers. "Nice place." He mumbled.

"Damn nice. About time we got something that isn't a shit-hole around here." I stated.

About that time a tiny framed tall brunette walked up to the table and smiled at Joe and me. "Welcome to Liquid Venom." She smiled. "I'm Kendall what can I get for you gorgeous two?"

_Liquid Venom? I can only imagine how this place got its name at night! _Joe and I smirked at each other.

Joe was smiling at her. She was tall, with fair rosy lips. Curly brown hair that looked natural and fell past her shoulders. She wore blue jeans and silk purple cameo off the shoulder top. She smelled like flowers. "Uh I'll have a beer and do you have grilled chicken?" I smiled. She nodded and scribbled down before looking to Joe. "Got burgers?" He smirked, trying on the Darley charm that anyone would want, even if not admitting to it. I witnessed the looks that woman got from even one look form Joe or Billy. She giggled and asked Joe what he wanted on it. "Bacon, works." He winked at her, and I rolled my eyes. She laughed before walking off. Not long she returned with our beers. I picked mine up and chugged it back, holding my stomach, now with enough strength to eat. The cold liquid felt good in my burning throat. I sighed and wiped my mouth, staring over at a half wide-eyed Joe. I shrugged. "Yeah the ever fucking loving effects of a Darley." I sarcastically stated.

He sipped at his beer, before shaking his head. She brought our food back and I managed to cut mine up with my fork, it tasted good. The hot taste and juice.

***************************

For the while Joe and I just set there enjoying the non-judge mental looks from people. The cool air of the fans over head, the music playing. Joe's foot was tapping and my head was back getting lost into the music. This silence was a beautiful thing. Until that is my bladder notified me when I moved. "Shit." I cursed. Joe's head snapped up. "What?"

"I gotta piss." I spoke in a un-lady like way, but I didn't really care. He laughed. "We'll fucking go. You waiting on the saints to come marching in?"

"Fuck you." I smiled, before getting up.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

She seemed all right to me. Able to eat, her breathing eased. The only time it twisted, the only time she twisted was when I mentioned Billy. I knew it was a bad idea, but I wanted to know. He left the bar with intentions to fuck her, and then he comes in with the Repunsal from the fucking south. No one would hire her and we both knew it. They'd take one look at her and not care who she was really, but that her name was associated with Billy Darley. I felt bad for her, Mike fired her and she wasn't looking to fucking good. _Maybe.. Maybe the Darley charm could work for something else?_ I put my hands behind my head. Looking around I spotted a green sign with the words Hiring imprinted on it. When what's her name came back by I stopped her. "Hey."

"Yeah." She grinned. I smirked back, but ignored any other topic that might come up all over. "I hear your hiring? I know of someone." I grinned. She smiled before heading to the back to get her boss.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

I walked out and slammed my bag onto the table. Joe had his feet propped up smirking like an idiot. "What now?" I asked. "Better get that resume ready baby I just bagged you an interview."

I smiled. "You did?" But then my heart fell back down. They surely won't hire me after they find out what everyone else knows. "Rose I know you can do this. Just go in there and fuck em over. Look at this place. Wouldn't you rather be here?" I nodded. "Fine, but one more rejection and I'm fucking moving out of the state."

"No way in hell." Joe shouted.

"Sh." I hissed. "I haven't even had the interview yet. "You're not going to fucking move Rose. You'll come live with me if I have to de-infest the whole fucking building!" I smiled at the look of seriousness on his face and wondered if I could ever truly leave Boston. Maybe it'd be better, clean start. Away from that bitch Wallis would be a definite plus. "Don't fucking think about it." Joe growled. As I started to speak Kendall came back to the table with a very good-looking man. I stood up immediately and he chuckled as we shook hands. "Excuse us." His deep voice echoed. He walked me back through a red carpet opening and into a simple room with leather furniture. "I'm Jamal." _This guy looks nice, better than nice. _He had dark chocolate skin and brown hazel eyes. His hair was in a perfect buzzed cut and he wore a diamond in each ear. Dressed in a cashmere suit.

"Rose Donovan." I greeted.

"Ah Donovan. Heard you were last working at that dive somewhere near Oak?"

_Here it comes...._

I nodded sadly. "Yeah I did Sir."

"Chin up darling. If your wondering if I've heard of you, then the answer is yes I have. This place maybe new, but I'm a Boston native. Everyone knows that you run with Darley and his crew. Ones settin out there right now isn't he?" I nodded again. "I understand your position Sir." I started to get up.

"Whoa hold it sweets. When can you start?" He smiled.

"Seriously after all the shit you've heard your going to hire me?"

"As long as there's no trouble then yes. A guy I know knows Mike. He told me that Mike let you go. I know you're the damn best bartender around so if Mike threw you away I want you on my time. Besides a looker like you is too pretty to be un-employed. Fuck the hater's girl you just worry about this bar and your responsibilities in it and were good."

I smiled brightly. "Darley won't be a problem. I only see Joe anyways. You don't want to see my resume?"

"No, but tell me what do you think we'd put in our new special here. Its called Venom Twist."

I smiled. Sounds like vodka salt little bit of lemon and blueberry juice. Maybe a pinch of mango or sugar. Shaken either way with ice and glassed up martini style." I finished, deep in thought of swirling liquid. "Hot diggedy damn!" I practically jumped in my chair. "Exactly girl. No resume needed your hired." He shined his white teeth at me and I pulled my hand back as his touched mine. He looked to it and gasped. "Damn girl what happened?" I sighed highly. "Glass accident." He nodded you need to have that taken care of before infection sets in. I smiled. We exited his office with me beaming and shaking his hand one last time, he carefully shook mine. "Give Kendall your number and I'll call you for schedule tonight-sound good?" I nodded. "You'll be home right?"

I nodded again. He poked his fingers in the shape of a gun form and laughed while retreating back the other way. Joe looked at me expectantly. "I got it." I smiled. "Fuck yes." He smirked.

Kendall came over to Joe and handed him a receipt. "A Darley gentleman. Nice," She giggled. "I take it your part of our team now?"

I smiled. "Awesome girl. What's that number of yours?"

"555-20210." I smiled. She nodded. "See you tomorrow I hope. Bye Joe." And with that she walked away.

I walked over and put my arms around Joe's waist. "Thanks Joey. Your first drink is on me." I spoke. "Damn right."

He looked one last time for any sign of Kendall and I again rolled my eyes as we made our way back into the mustang. It became silent again. Even without Billy in it, his car reeked of him and his invisible presence. I was beginning to hate it. My hands were now burning and aching so hard I didn't know if I could bare it anymore. Joe looked to me and cursed. "Motherfucker. Were going to the hospital." I didn't object to that. I watched all the cars pass by as the nausea hit me again. I was hoping that Joe would crash this precious fucker or something. He pulled into the lot and we got out. My anxiety flared up and I grabbed for my wrist. He put his hand on the small of my back and rubbed. "It'll be ok." I nodded.

We approached the desk down the hallway. "Hey she needs her hands fixed now." Joe demanded. The lady handed out a clipboard. "Take a seat punk."

His jaw clenched. Oh boy. I put my free hand on him, shaking my head no. I held my hands up to the glass. "Look Miss." She practically gasped in disgust. "First room down the hall." She motioned. As Joe and I walked I saw a familiar figure with blonde hair talking to Baggy? _Oh no what happened? _I tensed up and felt Joe press on my back again. "Just go into the room baby. We don't have to talk to them ok?" I nodded and walked quickly with my head bowed until I ran into someone. The squeaky voice yelled and I felt my blood boil up. I looked up to see her caked on face and blonde hair cropped around her face. Her eyes looked a little black and her nose was covered in a long white bandage. I grinned well well well. "Watch where your going-Oh well look here. If it isn't Miss Rosie."

I shook my head and Joe pulled on my shoulders. "Shut up Lindsay." He growled lowly. I felt a little flutter inside me that I never felt for him before when he stood up for me like that. Her smile faded. "She doesn't need pity Joe. She needs some kind of trashcan."

"What happened to your face bitch? Did you run into my home then? You really are washed up." I spat. She took a step forward. When someone pulled her back. My heart fell down and if it could clattered to the floor. Billy stood in front of us. He looked to Joe then to my hands. It started happening again and my eyes started blinking as the black spots approached. My breathing came back and before I could control it my legs gave out. I felt arms catch me.

**SNEAK PEAK AT CHAPTER 6:**

_This was it this was the last straw. He had stood up for me and I was all ready and willing to let my bat from it's cage. There not going to ruin my night. The drums played. I wasn't sure as I started shaking, but looked to Joe. He had black jeans on, his black shoes. And a black tight fitting t-shirt. My eyes darkened and my palms pushed together. You can do this you have to! Joe is here for you he still loves you he didn't know. Show Billy Rose show him! And Like a drug I let it hit me to my high, let it speed through my veins and I pushed myself into Joe's warm legs and chest. Bringing his hands up to my bare legs and swaying my hips in motion roughly side to side. I threw my head back and let my hair swirl around my face. Every scent, every breath of air was like a magnetic force. Me pulling Joe closer, Joe's hands running up my thighs. The glares flowing from Billy's eyes. I could hear Joe's heart beating in synch with mine. The sugar flowing through my veins. Pure satisfying._

**I Know That Once In Love**

**You Don't Think Of The Devil Who's Inside**

**And Maybe It Will Come One Day**

**When You'll Feel Safe And I won't Have the Time**

**You Hear What You Wanna Hear **

**Blink Once I Could Disappear**

**Some Rules To The Game Of Me**

**get it right for both of us**

**Just Say What You Wanna Say**

**I've Got It To Give Away**

**We Both Want To Make It Last **

**So Keep Your Eyes On Me, Your Eyes On Me**

Review if ya liked it. Pwease for me? Hahaha. :) Happy Late Holidays to everyone btw.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone who read last time and all the adds to favorite story/alert list. And also a special thank you to: Jenna-Leigh89 and Superdani. -Kris. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 7 will be in two parts, and the what everyone has been waiting for. The showdown between Rose and Lindsay. The lyrics in this chapter I DO NOT OWN AS THE PLACES AND CHARACTERS IN THE STORY I DO NOT OWN. I ONLY CLAIM ROSE AND WHOEVER ELSE I CLAIM DOWN THE LINE. SONG: COME AWAY WITH ME BY NINI CAMPS. **

**Slam Me Down, but Come Away With Me.**

Another blur went right through me as I fell, my fingers brushing the railing lining the side of the wall. Before I had time to feel the hard cement floor familiar arms reached down and grasped onto my upper back and arms. The dark spots returned as I felt him pull up on my upper arms and the sound of his chain dangled against his pants as he set on the floor and pulled me up in his arms. "Rose?" I nodded. I could still hear Billy's ragged breathing and his presence was beginning to make my heart ache through my chest, deeper than any emotion I'd felt before. I didn't like it and I sure as hell didn't want to deal with any of this. I could feel my heart beating in my throat, but I kept my eyes shut tight.

My breath escaladed and I sniffed, turning my head into Joe's chest. "Is she ok?" I heard a light voice ask and from the light tone in her voice I recognized it immediately. It was Lilly, but what the hell was she doing here with everyone, better yet why was everyone here? My head was throbbing and tingling down the back of my neck. Weary swept over me with a wave of tiredness. "Get me out of here." I whimpered light, still tight against Joe. Tugging on his shirt helped get my message across. He pulled me up against him. "Can you walk Rose?"

"Yes." I responded dryly. I planted my feet into the floor and Joe tucked his hands consuming the small space of my lower back and pulled me up fully. A stagger flooded me and I grasped onto the railing. I wished more than anything to just be able to run the hell out of here, but I didn't I wasn't in any condition to even try. I placed my head against his shoulder focusing on his heartbeat that I could hear thud loudly from where we were both standing. "Stay with me all right."

"Only if you stay with me." I croaked out, pulling on the hem of his t-shirt.

"Always." He grinned. "Were gonna walk just down here and ask that bitch to put us down at the other end so don't go getting fucked on me." I laughed lightly at his innocent humor. It always varies depending on the situation. I can always count on Joey for picking me up and bringing me back to life. And that's exactly what he did. My steps were slow, but he kept in pace with me and never got impatient, which was surprising for Joe.

He always was the impatient one. It was hurting to know who was just in hindsight a few feet away from me. I wanted so badly to just run into his arms and never come out. My emotions were hitting so powerfully it was hard to walk. My heart was pounding literally in my throat and my cheeks were flamed so hot I didn't know if my eye vessels were still clean. Everything felt like it'd bust in a nano second. I'd hoped maybe.... Maybe spontaneous combustion existed? I doubted that it would take into my form. My throat tasted like a dull metal and the feeling was rolling off my tongue. The heartbeats started shouting in my ears and when I took another step I went as everything passed me, right into the cold floor, taking Joe with me.

_Come on Slam me down Through the table To the ground _

"Whoa, whoa! Rose? Somebody help; get your useless asses over here!" Joe snapped flinging his hands around so fast they looked all too familiar as to seeing things when you're high. Trouble is I wasn't and the real trouble was that I was having cravings for cocaine and wished deeply I hadn't thrown out the $200 stash I bought from that fat bastard!

_Say you'll go Say you'll leave Nothing here for you but me _

Everything felt surreal and I lay, staring up at my surroundings. Pale, yet tan floors to the color of a gagging orange. It was so cold, so hard. Kind of like Billy, it wasn't catching me it was just there. And so was I. Looking helpless while it lay under me, sucking my force to the ground with it. Voices, Joe's Lily's, even Bodie's. It all echoed off my head. They all spun around and around. Let them spin..... Though I was on the floor everything felt so dizzy, to much force now. My hand was cold and numb now. No numbness needed. I'd request not to have it....

_Take my hand I'm holding out Through it all Won't let you down _

...

I let the voices swirl and went into a little wave of darkness that swept over my head. I heard Joe speak and though his protective form was shining through he didn't like a lot of people touching me for some reason. To this I was grateful, because I was sure he understood how I'd hated strangers touching me, even if it's a flutter, light as a feather, didn't matter! I was lying halfway on the tan cold floor and Joe had my back on his lap, hands underneath of me. A flock of nurses and doctors rushed over and picked me up from him. The doctor and nurses started to pick my body up, but Joe stopped them. "No! Let me I fucking got her." He scooped me up with ease and I had a smile on my face. _Aw look at Joey... God what is he doing? That's weird. Wow. Why is my stomach fluttering? _He looked to the doctor who pointed to the room right in front of him. He walked with me into the room and laid me on the white bed.

The doctor swarmed around me. Joe stepped protectively right in front of me, blocking the doctor. "Joey." I spoke, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket and retracting my hand immediately. "Ouch. Ow-hu-ow." I screamed out, the fire in my hands no longer numb or suttle. He snapped to me immediately. The white bed sheets already had a pool of blood forming next to them. "Sir you need to move aside." The doctor spoke. Joe growled. "I'm not fucking leaving her."

Joe sighed and I tugged at his jeans. "Joe go." The doctor walked over to the white phone hanging up. He turned around and walked backwards. "I'm calling security Mr.-" he paused. "Darley." Joe stated, with a slight smirk on my face. It caused the blood to boil through me again. _Nice ass like they haven't seen enough Darley's or relation, or something cause by them. You have to go and say it. Making a Darley makes you better then others. Please you sound like the rich fucks. I'll give this doctor five seconds before he says he has to go off duty. _**I gave Joe a look of warning. **

"Darley huh? Which one, the one that came in this morning with the blonde with the broken nose and the other blonde with the broken hand? No, wait you must be in relation." The doctor stated, his glasses rimmed to the edge of his nose. "I'm his brother." Joe spoke. This time I huffed and grabbed a plastic cup next to me on a table and slung it. "Is this a fucking hospital?"

"It would be if this one would leave."

"I said I'm not going anywhere." Joe said, crossing his arms.

"Enough Joe, get out!" I spoke, rolling my eyes and trying to brush the tears back. There was way too much panic surrounding me now.

"But-"I cut Joe off. " He knows your a fucking Darley already now get out!" I screamed, huffing out my chin started to quiver. Joe looked to me and started to speak again, his face softening. He knew he'd upset me further more. "Rose-" just go!" He shook his head and walked past me, the air of the bed sheet sweeping in when he walked. I turned my head as I watched him turn back around, but keeping quiet and slamming his hand onto the doorframe. He spoke once before leaving. "I'll be out here if you need anything."

"Whatever. Yeah." I spoke, turning my head to the other side.

And took out his stethoscope immediately and pressed the cold metal to my chest. He grabbed my wrist up and pressed two of his fingers onto it looking at the clock next on the wall of the pale room. He nodded to the nurse. "Okay sweetheart my name is Doctor Johnson. I need to ask you a few simple questions before we check you out further here."

My head nodded weakly and I heard the paper on the white sheet scrap with the noise of my head. "Just state your name in full first." He spoke, opening each eyelid and shining a tiny little flash of light into them. I blinked a few times and spoke. "Roselyn Alexandra Donovan. "

"Ok." He nodded. "Date of birth and the state it was in."

"Uh I was born right here in Boston and February 6th, 1982." I finished off, coughing slightly, the stinging in my hands now on fire.

"Go take that to the desk to be processed. Well Roselyn I think we may already have you on file." He stated, sounding in thought.

"I know you do." I tried to chuckle. "Blame my ass-hole namesake."

He smiled. "Well we don't get many young people in this wing of the hospital these days only if it's-" he paused, and from the looks I could see he was uncomfortable mentioning what he knew.

"Gang related, abusive parents, beatings all that shit." I stated, staring to him.

"Well yes." He nodded.

"You can chill Sir not all gangs are out to bust nuts 24/7. Hands maybe." I hissed. "It's more like their bitches..." I trailed off. "The other crap pretty much came on by being born." I stated again, looking away.

He looked to my hands. "Oh my. What happened there?"

"Some glass met my hands last night and then they met my shower wall this morning." I sighed. He snapped his fingers to the nurse. "Get me the big kit down the hall in OR 1 please."

He look the left one in his hand. I gasped upon contact. "I for one can tell you it was utter ignorance to wait this long to have them tended to, but you'll be lucky if they won't need surgery."

"I really don't care much." I spoke, trying not to nod off as the weak spell washed over me again.

His look changed back to one of sympathy. "Don't," I spoke simply. "Just fix me up so I can find some other place to go darken." I sighed; leaning my head back into the soft covered pillow and closing my eyes. At that moment I heard the clop of crocks and the nurse moving around I'd assumed. I heard the stool move across the floor and the medium tone of voices in the hallway. "Shut that... please." Johnson demanded firmly to the nurse. I was right when I'd heard the heavy of the wooden door close.

"Ok, Rose. Now as far as the eye can see you have a shard or two of looks to be about two-inch pieces of glass in your hand. I'm going to have to do an X-ray to make sure. After that I'll go ahead and numb your hand and just remove the shards right here. Sound all right?" I nodded. "As hospital policy," the nurse began speaking. " It's standard procedure for all patients to put on a gown, especially for the X-ray part of the visit."

I opened my eyes. "All right." The nurse brought me the gown. "Miss? Do you need help w-with that?" Her light voice asked, motioning to my hand. Though I admit it was going to be beyond painful to move my hand around and lift my clothes off, I didn't want a touch from a stranger. I hesitated before speaking in what I was sure sounded like a pathetic cry of a druggie begging for more or the tone of a helpless shooting victim. "I can't- I don't-," I stuttered, trying to find the right words as not to offend her. She looked overly polite and tired of being so. "I've got it." I spoke, simply.

Maybe lying was the best form half of the time? She nodded. "We'll be back in five minutes that ok?" I nodded once more.

_Come away with me Come away Come away with me Come away _

They left the room and I'd had time to ponder... I was alone now just the way I felt like being or dying....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(**Joe's P.O.V**)

With my two feet, confused as to which one first I stomped out of Rose's room. I wanted to say stomped, but the truth was I'd stumbled. I was beginning to act a lot like Billy. He was absorbing the Darley-code into me and it was mixing me with. It scared me at times and I never wanted to hurt Rose, not when she was counting on me now.

_Radio over my head Under your window Lay it on again _

I looked just a few feet down the hallway and there stood Billy. His arms were crossed and his eyes were blazing into me. He was pissed. So he still had a caring bone in his body? Or was it maybe the fact that I'd had something he thought he would always be able to keep and he couldn't stand it? I think it was that he didn't want anyone with her, but himself.... This was the actual confusion of Billy. He was off and on with Rose ever since we all met in that alley near and old garage. But I knew he cared for her more than his own life, but now I wasn't sure. I leaned my head back into the wall and pushed my feet forward. I was thankful when Lily met me first in stride her hand clearly swollen and wrapped in gauze.

I was able to turn my attention off my brother as she approached me. "Joey..." She breathed, pushing some blonde hair from her shoulder. "Is she in there?" I nodded.

"Well, you obviously didn't make it right did you?"

"Look Lily I don't know what the fuck is goin' on same as you, or is it?" I snapped.

"Same as me," She answered automatically. "What is going on with your brother?"

I rubbed my head and stretched my cramping arm muscle. "You've got me. You know who the fuck that bitch is?" I asked. She shook her head. "No one knows really. Billy is quiet, won't say much to it. I pressed him on it this morning when I saw him seeing her off near the backside building of the apartments. Bitch ran her mouth off..." She trailed smirking. _So she'd been the one who'd broken that whore's nose?_

"I must say doing a duty until Rose gets a hold of her really worked off some of my anger. She just wouldn't shut up. Being Bones's best customer, Billy's future and then she commented on last night. So I boxed her ass one."

"Fuckin' eh Lily," I grinned. "She needed that. Would've done it myself, but-"

"You're newly Darley morals rang in over the extinct ones." She laughed. I started to speak and she put her finger up. "I know you would never hit her. I know none of them would, but if I Baggy ever did it he wouldn't know what hit him. I just didn't think Billy would."

"I know." I said sadly, looking down the hall as his head tilted to the side, his eyes sharp.

"She need anything? You know like stuff you won't get her." Lily laughed.

"As far as I know no! She got one hell of a job though better than that dive." Lily smiled. "Good she deserves it. Maybe she'll put in a good word." She joked, nudging me. I had to smile. Lily was cute and the way she made everyone feel a hell of a lot better, I cared for her a lot. Not so much as to date, that shit didn't work when we tried it. I hope she finds someone deserving. As for Rose. I need her so bad right now and it's taking its effects.

_Take my hand I'm holding out Through it all Won't let you down Come away with me Come away Come away with me Come away_

"I'm gonna go check on ma girl." She stated, patting my shoulder. I nodded. "And Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"You're doing good. She needs you more than you know. So don't hurt her because I don't wanna have to hurt you and that cute little face of yours." As she walked off I felt a hand clasp over my shoulder, it was warm. I turned in an excessive force. "Whoa easy there tiger." Bodie spoke. He raised his hands. " I come in peace."

"What the fuck is it now Bodie? What do you want?" I barked.

"A word brother, that all right?" I nodded. He motioned me with his hand into the men's room. I raised my brows. "Absolutely necessary Dawg." He cringed. I rolled my eyes. "Right." I spoke, crossing my hands forward. "What is it that you needed to fuckin' pull me in here?"

"How is she?" His voice was low.

He has the nerve to ask me how she is after everything last night. No one stood up for her, but at least I came to her this morning. And then Lily. No one else has done shit!

"None of you have done shit. So if she's all right that is her choice to fucking tell you and from how she was this morning and how she feels right now I'm guessing she fucking won't! Now go report to my brother and fuck off!" His eyes blinked in surprise at my tone. "Joe man.."

"Bodie man." I mocked my voice sharp. "I'm doing everything to make sure she's getting taken care of, especially her hand." I stormed to the door and Bodie pulled on my jacket sleeve when I yanked back the coke tumbled outta my pant's pocket and onto the cold floor. My eyes widened in surprise. Bodie's eyes immediately snapped open. He bent for it before I could reach it and slammed the sack against his hand. "And this is how you take care of her? By getting high, both of you ex- junkies! Huh?" He yelled. I let a low snap erupt from my chest. "You better fuckin' keep your mouth shut and back off!"

"Maybe Billy should know this." I grabbed his arm as he started to retreat and slung it back.

"Look I found that shit this morning in the trash." I groaned. His eyes squinted into slits and he leaned forward. "So this is..."

"Rose's." I finished for him. "She doesn't know I found it. It was in the trash stuck to the bottom of a fuckin' candy dish. I had to fuckin' keep it away from her, especially after Bones's fat ass sold it to her. Some cock runs her building said he saw her go into the alley with Bones last night after that shit went down. She's in trouble Bodie. I didn't do a drop of this shit and it looks like she hasn't touched it either, but after what she went through, her apartment this morning. I don't know if she wants help..."

"God damn!" He yelled, slamming his hand on the wall. "Look no matter what we gotta get this shit back into Billy's bag. I wanna flush it, but I think shit will go better if it's in his bag." I nodded and took it from him. "Joe-:

"Let me fucking do this Bodie. We've known her forever just let me try and save her."

"Well you can start with her birthday tomorrow man."

I nodded again. "I know. There's this new place in town I'm gonna ask her to go with me. Take her out to the new bar. She just needs a fucking break."

"I'm proud if you." Bodie stated, patting m cheek. "Now let's get the fuck outta here."

"You sure you can handle it?" Bodie asked, once we'd exited the bathroom.

I nodded. "I'll do my damndest!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(**Back to Rose's P.O.V.)**

"Dammit!" I hissed, as I failed once more to raise my arm enough to place my body into the gown.

I wondered what everyone was doing right about now. I knew that Billy would want his car back so I would walk, do something other than riding in that car. A soft knock erupted from my door. "Can I come in?" The voice was light again and I knew it was Lily. "Come in." She smiled lightly at me, I immediately noticed her hand and my insides lit up like the fourth of July. She'd hit Lindsay and broke her nose. God if only I would have known I was going out like that last night I would have...

"So you think I blackened her enough?" Lily giggled.

I smiled. "Thank you." But as quickly as the smile came it faltered. Hers did as well.

"Joe told me it's been rough since last night. If you need anything you know my number Rose. Call me please."

I started to sniff lightly and looked up at Lily through tear-filled warmth. "It hurts so fucking much Lily. I just wanna die anymore. I don't know what I did..."

"You did nothing, NOTHING!" She corrected me, "Rose baby Billy is stupid and he knows it. We'll find out about that bitch I guarantee you, but don't you dare give up on yourself! Not again! Joe won't let you fall and neither will I!"

"Lily I just-"

She leaned her head in against mine. "He's a dick. But it's gonna be ok. I can tell he's hurting just as much. No one gets him at all, especially not now."

"I used to." I whispered, letting the warmth roll out. She hugged me to her in a protective stance. "We'll sort this out. Besides we got lots of time to talk at that hot new spot you work at." With her reminder I smiled for the first time in hours. She did to. "The perfect tramp for the job." She joked. I laughed. "I'll put a word in hooker."

She made a fist and leaned in brushing my tears away. Lily was the sister I never had and she to me. I think we both shared the same opinion on me should have being the biological sibling. I hissed at my hand's pain as she touched it lightly. "Damn. You need some help?" She motioned to the gown. I nodded, "Please."

As she was helping me into the gown I couldn't resist the urge to ask. "So Lily how hard did you hit her? I'm not interested in her why details, but do tell of the face cracking." The smile in my voice clearly visible now.

_So tired of running circles All around and 'round myself Can't you see that if we stay here We're just lying to ourselves _

"It cracked. Felt good and soon enough she'll need so much plasto she won't be able to afford the drugs." I smiled and leaned into her as she rubbed my back. Maybe things would be better. And I'd had the desire for a quiet birthday for once.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

The doctor had removed three total glass shards, two of which were two inches and one that was three. He cringed when he saw the scar that was underneath the blood after he'd cleaned it out. That scar was all to familiar and Joe had joined Lily, Bodie hanging in quietly at the door, leaving and not pressing. My dad had left that scar when he'd cracked my entire wrist back then. Billy had not left the hospital, I'd assumed for his car was his reason. I couldn't bear to look into those shimmering blue orbs. They mirrored my sad face and I'd hoped he was in pain. I didn't want to ride with Joe or anyone and he knew that so he let Lily take me home in a cab. The night was quiet as I was relaxing on painkillers, but the phone rang...

I picked it up tiredly. "Yeah." I was careful in my answer.

"Rose? It's me."

"Yeah, Joe." I spoke trying to act like it was nothing, but so relieved to hear his voice.

_Take my hand I'm holding out Through it all Won't let you down _

"Your birthday... How about tomorrow night, you me some music. What do you say?"

This surprised me. So Joe wanted to take me out for a birthday night. I wanted my 25th to pass so quickly, but I had the urge now to throw the quiet need away, maybe a distraction was what I needed?

"Joe you sound like a bad dater."

"Rose, I'm serious. Tomorrow afternoon let's bring in this year right. Bring it in with me. We can even leave Boston-"

I cut him off. "No strings or bars attached Joey. You promise?"

I heard the grin in his deep voice. "Yeah. See you tomorrow Rose."

And as I heard his breathing my heart fluttered.

_Come away with me Come away _

"You will." I didn't know what this crazy night would be, but I wanted so badly to milk into Joe and go away with him. Right here in Boston!

_Come away with me Come away _

.............................................................

Rate and review if you like it. :)


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS, PLOTS OR PLACES E.T.C IN DEATH SENTENCE. THAT BELONGS SOLEY TO THE WRITER'S AND JAMES WAN (SUCH A CUTIE HE IS!!!!) I ONLY CLAIM ROSE, JAMAL AND KENDALL FOR NOW. AND ANYONE THAT I CREATE DOWN THE LINE. NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED!!!!! AND THE LYRICS/SONGS USED IN THIS CHAPTER I DO NOT CLAIM NOR DO I OWN EITHER. THEY BELONG SOLEY TO THE BANDS OF: THE BREEDERS AND THE SUNDAYS AND THE SINGERS: SEAN KINGSTON AND CELINE DION. SONGS: TAKE YOU THERE BY SEAN KINGSTON, EYES ON ME BY CELINE DION, WILD HORESES BY THE SUNDAYS AND LITTLE FURY BY THE BREEDERS, NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED!

All right everyone. So this is what you've been waiting for. The Rose vs. Lindsay showdown. It's far from over, but I hope you are pleased for what I have kept you waiting for for so long. And as I was writing I discovered a tie in with Lindsay and something Billy wanted that I could use. I hope u enjoy this little surprise. Well, big!!!! I hope I did justice with this.

AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO CONTINUES TO READ, FAVORITE THIS STORY AND REVIEW IT.

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**The Birthday Angel pt. 1**

**------------------------------**

There's nothing more important than a day of birth. Some babies are born into the comfort of luxury. Others are born and tossed somewhere. Some don't make it and then there are those who make it, but are outsiders. It's not something they can ever shake. It's their forever. All babies grow up even if they don't try. Physically they grow, emotionally a lot can be messed up. Most of the time if they have someone by their side no matter where they come from, someone who never quits. Never has any strings and wants to keep them safe and love them as long as their lives last.

Most parents are there to see the change and then there are a mixed number and majorities of those that are not alive to see it, those that can't be and those that simply choose not to be. The world is amazing no matter which way you look at it. Someone can be here today and in the fraction of a second die tomorrow. Especially if you choose the side of death. Death or Glory is what lies in the Southside of Boston. Live free. Die-hard. It's much more than movie titles. People can make movies, but actually being in the scenario isn't any time anyone would want. Some people change, some people make new lives.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**He tossed and turned all night, and not even her long pink nails raking down his back or crossed over his stomach, resting right above his abdomen and red that connected to the back swirl. It had been a long since secret from anyone except Bodie, Rose, Baggy and Joe. Because back then it had been the five of them. **_**The Five Fuckers **_**as people had called them. Billy had a tattoo of Rose's name right above his abdomen. It connected to where the black swirl that slithered around his stomach ended. A red tribal mark in the form of a crimson color has her name written -****Rose ****- in cursive black writing. **

**He wasn't a big believer in names of other's being pressed into your body when they were already pressing into your life. But he needed to have her name there, always written, in his own sick way it was like she was with him. He smiled looking up at the ceiling and leaning his firm head back. Lindsay snorted in her sleep and rolled over as Billy threw her arm carelessly from him. He threw the black sheet off and slid out of bed, not wanting to wake the bitch. The last thing he needed was someone hanging all over the shower. He smirked at the thought. While he was thinking anyways. **

**Stretching the overworked muscles in his arms and neck he pushed the door to his room open deciding against the shower in his own bathroom. He expected to hear the snoring of Joe lying on his stomach like a fucking pig until the evening falls. But the snoring wasn't there and when Billy passed the opened scratched wooden door, neither was Joe. Scraps of wood hit the floor next to his feet. Billy leaned his head back and sniffed. February 6th today..... Rose was twenty-five. And who the hell would be with her? No one.... He unclenched his knuckles and grabbed a clean pair of dark jeans and a clean tight black t-shirt and boxers. He smelled the shirt and his nose didn't crinkle in disgust, he was surprised. Rose usually did cooking and laundry for everyone as they would constantly buy new clothes every few days rather than wash them, and live off of Jack Daniels and frozen pizzas. **

"**Fuck this." He growled to himself. He slung the shirt over his naked shoulder and grabbed a load of clothes, but stopped before tossing them in. There wasn't any whites in what he was holding, the one thing that sunk in when he always watched Rose do the masses of laundry like a fucking trooper. Washing clothes of Heco takes balls. No one wore white, certainly not Billy. Even all his boxers were black. White was a color of light and light clothes don't make the man. Billy would rather stick with something that fit him. Rose always shopped for something when they needed clothes. He laughed to himself as he remembered some of the shit she'd end up bringing up back. It was purposely to. **

**The hideous Hawaii shirt with the big ass green prints on it. After a few laughs and Billy's game of you bought it you take it off and she did. That was the last time they'd made love before she started dating that rat bastard Michael. He closed his eyes tightly. Not just a few days ago he had planned on making her birthday the best one yet. He even had something in his pocket in a leather sack, in a deeper black velvet box to prove it. He thought he could skim by that ass-hole Bones just long enough to do it before and maybe he could have told her and salvaged something?**

**He kept it in his jeans everyday since the month ago he'd bought it. Also when Bones first showed his 1 "preferred customer" to Billy. He dropped the clothes in and filled the cap full of the liquid blue shit and tossed it in. Closing the lid he turned the knob and fell silently into the bathroom. He let the hot water wash over his muscles and slammed his hands against the shower wall. He rammed his fingers into the corner of his eyes to prevent the moisture from leaking out. "Don't you fucking whine Nazi." He cursed himself, the water slithering down his back and washing the suds away with a shine. **

_**Nazi. **_**If there was one thing that always made him snap out of something that he knew he shouldn't be doing was the name Bones used on him. He used it on himself. He wasn't about to cry. Being happy was something he'd never feel so why bitch and bawl about something you can't control or need? Her face wouldn't leave his mind. Her tears as he pounded inside of her warmth too much for even him to feel it's real pleasure. **

**Leaving her, everything he'd built up to keep safe, everything he worked hard to ensure of safety. The one thing he knew in this life of hell on earth that he'd always care about more than himself or Joe. And Joe had her right now.... Rose was his! not Joe's! Who the fuck does Joe think he is? Just because he's a Darley doesn't mean a damn thing in taking what is his! He built the Darley reputation up. He made the gang and he ran shit! Against his will the tears slid out of his eyes. He dug his own nails into the palm of his hands so deep that blood seeped out. "No fucking crying Nazi. No fucking crying Nazi." He whispered to himself.**

**And he sniffed, sucking it up. He picked up the cloth and scrubbed at his arms to remove the remaining residue of her fruit like smell form his arms and chest. The bruise ripped across his ribs, his latest blow from Bones made him his as he brushed lightly across it. Nothing was severe enough to be broken. Breaking his ribs five times in his life made him familiar enough to know what was ever broken and what was not. He heard the light ringing of a phone and the creak of a door. The low giggling made his stomach turn. **_**Not right now ya fucking bitch...**_

"**Billy?" She called out, giggling. He growled. "Billy are you in here?" **

**He leaned his face up and let the warm roll onto it and soak in his facial features. The curtain was pulled back and he paid no mind and she pressed her of course naked self to his wet back. "Afternoon Billy." Her tone more joyful than usual. "Why so quiet for silly baby." **

"**What the fuck is wrong with you?" He snapped, shoving her aside and ripping the towel up from the rack. Leaving the water going he wrapped it around himself. She stood there in the water, with her hands on her hips like always. Before turning the faucet off and prancing over to him. He'd already started the sink and squirted a line of Colgate onto his green brush. Running the water and mouthwash down his throat before running the floss once through it.**

**He spit the excess water out and pulled a crest white strip out and wrapped it around his top and bottom teeth. Ignoring her impatient sighs. When minutes passed he dropped his towel and pulled the boxers on, also ignoring her nail tracing down his bare thigh. He turned around and growled before shoving her roughly into the hamper a few inches away from him. He pulled his jeans on and snapped the buckle in place before pulling the strips off and pulling on the familiar black fitting shirt. He let it crunch in place of his muscles and over the bruise.**

"**Billy?" She shrieked. **

**He opened the door before walking down the hallway to his room and grabbing up the black leather cuff and silver bracelet. He tossed the cross necklace over his head and snapped the wrist wear in place. He stayed silent as he pulled his boots on and stood up before grabbing up a cigarette and lighting it. **

**Lindsay was wrapped in a towel and standing in the bathroom doorway as he blew right past her. "It's that whore's birthday that's making you huffy isn't it?" He didn't think twice about it as his hand connected with the side of her cheek sharply on the way by, and breezing into the living room as if nothing had happened. She snorted a little bit before walking into the living room just as a breathless Bodie came in and closed the door. He scowled at her before looking at Billy.**

"**Hey Dawg." He greeted silently.**

"**Bodie where you been?" Billy asked hoarsely. **

"**Had a few last errands to attend to this morning. Besides why the fuck would I wanna stay here when you two were baffling the other's genitals all night."**

**Billy sucked in sharp air. "Watch it."**

"**Yeah I got it." Bodie retorted before pulling his leather coat on over the hoodie. "You just got in where the fuck do you think your goin' now?" Billy barked.**

"**To wish my girl a happy birthday. Is that all right with you?" Bodie questioned as more sarcasm built behind his tongue. Billy surprised him by nodding. **

"**Aren't you going to congratulate me on our news!" Lindsay squealed bouncing into the room just as Bodie had started to twist the knob. Bodie frowned.**

"**Congratulations on.. fucking." He smirked sarcastically. She only giggled and looked up at Billy. "No Bodie honey." She mocked his name in her tone and placed her hand on Billy's shoulder. "On this." She giggled loudly before flinging her left hand out, the object glittering slightly. Billy's eyes widened before his right hand frantically slithered down his jean leg and into the empty pocket. **_**Mother fucker.....**_

**Bodie slammed the open door closed with his mouth hanging open. **

"**What the fuck is...?" He trailed off.**

"**Billy baby why'd you keep this from me. I mean it's not my total style, but once it's been on me for a while it'll be." She crooned. **

"**It's fucking fine the way it was." He suddenly snapped, his head bowing. Bodie's eyes were in utter confusion until he looked up into the coldness and painful look in Billy's. "So you going to ask me?" Lindsay bounced. **

"**Ask her?" Bodie spoke out loud in disbelief, like he was trying to come to terms with it himself as to what she was saying or referring to. **

" **I found it after you got up. I figured I'd surprise you as well, with myself and my knowing this all."**

"**You don't know nothin'." Billy spoke lowly, but Bodie could hear the painful words clearly in his voice. **

"**So are we engaged or not Billy? Imagine Bones is going to love hearing this." She squealed again.**

"**Yeah. Yeah we are." Billy spit out.**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

Getting up was hard, but the anxious butterflies swimming in my stomach reminded me of the night that was ahead of me shortly. Joe was taking me out. I didn't know exactly when and I didn't know exactly where. I wasn't a fan of surprises, but Joe being here for me these last few days I think I owe it to him to at least go with the flow. Let this day begin.

I finished the last bit of my call with Jamal, securing my job and finished the last bit of my late lunch. A bowl of apple jacks. The phone rang and I was a little too anxious in picking it up. "Hello?" I giggled.

"That's her. Am I talking to Rose?" Joe chuckled.

"Don't be a smart-ass." I laughed.

I could hear the smile in his voice. "Happy birthday Rose."

"Thank you." My voice faltered a little at the thought of not having Billy after being used to having him with me for the past twenty birthdays or so.

I heard him sigh. "It's gonna be all right. You still ready to go out and rave shit?"

"Am I?" I spoke.

"Now who's being the smart-ass?"

I chuckled. "Get yourself ready in one hour can you do that?"

"Yes. You gonna be capable of telling me where we're going tonight?" I questioned.

"Not really. No." His tone smirked.

"Fine." I grumbled.

"Try and relax and look fucking sexy."

"Classic Joe."

"And geezer Rose."

I growled. "I'm kidding Rose."

"Not fucking laughing here."

"Forgive me?"

"Maybe?"

"I got presents."

"Well....... ok." I laughed. His voice sounded deep and warm as I clutched the phone.

"Good. Be ready. I'm taking this corvette ma boy hooked me up with."

"Hooked you up with? Joe..."

"Ok so Lilly has to work tonight and she let me borrow it. Be ready." He groaned at my pestful tone. "Okay." I laughed again.

After his receiving end never faltered I waited, my butterflies getting stronger. "Rose?"

"Yeah?" I spoke, a little breathless.

"You know...." Joe stated seriousness full in his voice.

"What?" I asked anxiously.

"Your still young and hott." He retracted. _He's hiding what he was going to say...._

"Thanks classic Joseph." I smiled laughing lightly.

He laughed as well before I hung up. I clutched the phone to my chest already missing his voice. I'd always love Joe no matter what happened or happens between Billy and I. I just never thought it would bubble up to feel this strong. _What am I doing? What's going on with me? _A knock made me drop the phone and missed my toe by an inch. I grabbed it quickly slamming it down on the receiver and walking over to the door and opening it. There stood Kendall with a black material hung over her right arm, followed my a black bag.

"Kendall?" I questioned. I hadn't known her that long, how did she find out where I lived and why would she come to this hellhole of a complex.

"You know we're neighbors? And I didn't know until Jamal told me to bring you, your outfit for work. " She smiled.

"Neighbors? I haven't seen you here and I thought..."

"Thought because of the bars remodel status that I lived in some ritzy paradise? Nope. Pays the bills, but nothing for any ritz pr splitz. Congratulations. You're just in time for our massive blowout for Valentine's day. Oh yeah and happy birthday." She finished, bouncing up on her fancy shoes.

I smiled. "New here then?" She nodded.

"Wait, Jamal never mentioned uniforms? Don't tell me..." I groaned. She laughed. "No, I'm just fucking with you. I got you something. I know I haven't known you long enough, and, I can't afford much, but I like to be a splurger once in a while. Every decent waitress at a club deserves a pair of menolos. "

"Menolos? Kendall you didn't?" She tossed the bag at me. " I did."

"Call it a present from me and the boss man. He can't run a strip club, but once in a while he likes to treat his employs like good girls if you catch my shit?"

I laughed before pulling the golden pair of heels out. "Kendall these are gorgeous. How'd you know my size and come in." I laughed? She stepped in. "I can't stay long. Working the night shift. And the beau is taking me out of town for some romantic thing. To bad he didn't make us plans for that new club that opens tonight. Famous question. Your feet look the same as mine and I just figured."

"Well, thank you." She laughed and hugged me. "Any plans tonight?"

"Joe is taking me somewhere."

"Joe Darley," She giggled. " He's such a cutie. Ever seen the leader?"

I bowed my head as my throat let out an involuntary choke. "I'm sorry."

"Not it's ok. He's just...."

"You don't have to tell me what a crooked bastard he is."

"He's not crooked;" I started, but shut my mouth. "Yeah I guess big Darley is as big a bastard as they say. She patted my arm sympathetically. "Be careful, traffic is going to be packed for all the fuckers trying to get into the Chill tonight." I nodded.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**Bodie's eyes widened this time. "Billy man..."**

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." He loud scream cut them off. "We're engaged, we're fucking engaged. I'm calling Linda I-"**

"**No you're fucking not!" Billy demanded, slapping her hand down. "You tell no one of this until I fuckin' say. Not even Bones. You understand Lindsay?"**

**She had a scowl on her face. "Fucking fine."**

**Bodie stayed silent at the door shaking his head and removing his jacket. " I can't fucking do this right now."**

**Billy looked up at him, running a hand over his shaven head which had begun to pulse. Lindsay grabbed Billy from the belt loops and pulled her lips to his. Bodie slumped onto a kitchen stool from the opposite side. "I gotta fuck get out of here." Bodie mumbled.**

"**I intend to." Billy spoke catching his breath as Lindsay took of like a bitch to the hallway all of a sudden, ungluing herself from Billy. He kept his back to Bodie, his hands on his hips and pushed Nazi up through his mind as the moisture bubbled up. **

"**Billy man no." Bodie repeated twice, shaking his head. Billy finally turned to face him. "You fail to mention that bitch for who knows how long and now your going to tie yourself to her? You? What the fuck is going on? Who was that ring really for? Answer me motherfucker!" Bodie shouted finally getting up. **

**Billy gained enough strength and turned to his best friend who was lashing out at him. Hurt in his voice. "You damn well who it was for..." **

"**No man no." Bodie replied sadly. **

"**She was never supposed to fucking find it." **

"**Then why did she? If that ring was for R-"**

"**Don't you fuckin' say her name Bodie! Not now!" He faltered. **

"**I can't fucking stay here and deal with this shit tonight. This is a mess Billy..." Bodie trailed off. **

"**Look we're getting the fuck out of this place tonight. I can't fucking take it." Billy growled. **

"**Where?"**

"**If this shit will get her off my back. The Chill." Billy stated simply.**

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

After Kendall left I spent the majority of my time looking at my toes in the heels. The simple gold strap brought the black of my toenails out. My feet looked wonderful in them. I felt proud and for once in the last few days of hell, happy! I unwrapped the curlers from my hair and let the brown ringlets bounce. My nails matched my toes and my double navel ring hung above my toned stomach and the tattoo of Billy's name written in red in black bold letters, along with a simple tribal mark curving around the many other tatts I had.

I also had Joe's name on the other side. The two Darleys that meant the most to me. And I only had one tonight. I looked away from the mirror brushing some loose tears away. I made sure my smoky due was updates before placing the pink shade over my lips and spraying on the smell of perfume the whore hated me for. _Joe will like it you know he will. _

I slipped on the strapless and short black dress that sliced open around my navel and opened up above my lower back. Everything looked perfect together. And I had to admit I looked amazing. I smiled at myself and the dusk starting out side. Another sound I was used to hearing today erupted and I gave myself the once over before grabbing my leather jacket and bouncing like a teenager to the front door. "You can do this." I whispered to myself. I pulled the door open and my mouth literally dropped. Joe was leaning against the doorframe with a pair of blue wash jeans, new ones. His chain dangling from the side, black flat boots that was clean? The top of his jeans clung to his hips and made known of his Darley inherited trademark. Tight around the front.

He wore a black tight t-shirt with a black shirt over that and his red leather jacket hung around his tall lanky figure. A cigarette hung loosely from his mouth and a necklace with a blue stone medium size hung with his dog tags around his neck and my mouth fell as far as it could physically and possibly go. His jaw fell open as well. "RoseJoe." We cut in together at the same time. "You look.... - Fucking amazing. Hott." He finished off for me.

He took my hand and pulled me to him. Hugging Joe over the years was something I was used to, but when I hugged him this time. His warmth, his musky smell, the feel of him all over me, and I wasn't hott for him being Billy's brother. No. I was hott for Joe! _Oh my god...._

"You ready to go chill." He smirked, composing himself as his eyes danced all over my body.

"Chill?" I questioned.

"You sure look....."

"Joe how'd you get us in?" I squealed. "That place is new and everything."

"I have my ways Rose. Ready?"

Boy was I ever........

*~*~*~*~*~*

Lilly's car was nice and didn't smell of smoke, so much which made me happy. Once you quit and constantly have a nicotine patch stuck to your damn thigh, making you hate the smell and crave it badly. Among other things. Quitting didn't matter around the Darley gang. I laughed out loud. Joe smiled over at me as I leaned my head back into the seat.

"You know. I love you." Joe paused.

I choked on my answer before it came up along with the butterflies that were let loose. "As much as I love you."

"No more. I want you to feel good tonight."

"Just being with you makes me feel good Joey." I breathed out deeply. He reached over, but let his hand rest. He was trying to control his no bars motives, the way I wanted him to, but I wanted so badly to break through those bars or pull him through them and slam him into some concrete. Once we left the car I tried to pull the silk material, but it clung to my hips, resulting in the shiver of the winter air covering my legs. Joe put his arm around me.

The traffic had been hell and by the time Joe has his cocky smirk on and the bouncer took one look at us hanging all over each other, he pulled the door open.

_YO!!!!WAT A GWAAN!!!HO!!!!SEAN KINGSTON!!!JR!We can go to the tropicsSip pina coladasShorty I could take you thereOr we can go to the slumsWhere killas get hungShorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya (I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya (I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you thereBaby girl I know it's rough but come with meWe can take a trip to the hoodIt's no problem girl it's my cityI could take you thereLittle kid wit guns only 15Roam in the streets up to no goodWhen gun shots just watch us, run quicklyI could show you where_

My mouth had once again fallen open. The lights were all over twirling. The air was cool, the floors were black and wooden and the place was big with tables perched on golden rails somewhere to the far right. Lights and air flew and twirled all around us. Smells and smoke, everything was mixed. The place was like a raving Candy land.

_As long you're with meBaby you'll be alrightI'm known in the ghettoGirl just stay by my sideOr we can leave the slums go to paradiseBaby it's up to you,It's whatever you like_

"God damn Joe." He took my leather coat from my shoulders and handed it off to someone who took his coat and over shirt. I pulled his hand like a raving hormonal to the bar. We laughed as Joe spoke over the loud music. "I love this fucking song." I smiled

_We can go to the tropicsSip pina coladasShorty I could take you thereOr we can go to the slumsWhere killas get hungShorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya (I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya (I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you there_

Widely. "Two Vodkas. That ok Rose?" I nodded, swaying to the music. Something cold hit my hand as Joe placed the drink in it. "Good to see that smile. You wanna eat or?"

I downed the drink once and pulled his shirt. "Fuck that." He had no time to take more than two sips before leaving it at the bar and following me out into the swirls. I moved backwards and pulled his shirt as the song blared on and people moved the air dancing around us. Joe started moving his hips into mine.

_Shorty come with me it's no worryI know the bad men dem where they ah stayPolice fly pursuit in a hurryThis is no gun playDon't be scared in a deh West IndiesIt's Jamaica, dat's where I'm fromMight see something you're not used toWelcome to da slumsAs long you're with meBaby you'll be alrightI'm known in the ghettoGirl just stay by my sideOr we can leave the slums go to paradiseBaby it's up to you,It's whatever you like_

I placed my arms around him and moved back and forth. He placed his hands on my waist and moved with me as I twirled, placing my back to him.

_We can go to the tropicsSip pina coladasShorty I could take you thereOr we can go to the slumsWhere killas get hungShorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya (I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya(I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you thereOh we (oh we)Can go (can go)To a place (to a place)I know you gon like (oh oh oh)The beach (the beach)The breeze (the breeze)West Indies, I call it paradise_

"Damn Joey." I cooed.

"Told you it was all gonna be a surprise." He placed his lips to my neck and pulled me around from my abdomen and I twist up into him. All the people flew around us and it felt like no one was there, but us in a heated rush. My heart was beating and the sound of movement brushing all around.

_We can go to the tropicsSip pina coladasShorty I could take you thereOr we can go to the slumsWhere killas get hungShorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya (I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you thereYou know I could take ya (I could take ya...)I could take ya(I could take ya...)Shorty I could take you there _

When the song ended I pulled Joe to me giggling. "So my presents?"

"When we get home."

"Home?"

"To your place." He smirked. "And the cake as well."

"Aww you got me a cake."

"To bad it's for eating huh?" He smirked.

"Maybe, maybe not. With age gets the frisky surfacing." Another song sounded out.

"Ready for more?"

"I don't need to rush outta here yet so yeah." Joe grinned.

*********************

The night danced on. The DJ spinning and Joe making my body burst into excitement and heat. The dancing was getting closer and the more sexier the song, the more elevated the desire roared on. Some songs slow had us tightly together. And others.....?

_Round up, holler girl. Ah, I will TK, if I don't black made for fucking and missing from the boy spun what you've Xenia twists up the sky, Akron flakes , little fury,I feel hot is it floating in my beer?Hold what you've big drum on your big face,The one-eyed jazz as hickeys up, holler girl..We'll all need bigger 's been a few days And I know I will have spun out_.

Joe smiled up at me as I grinded my bare back into him and his hand flicked the diamond through my navel and traced my bare stomach, giving me goose bumps.

_Hold what you've big drum on your big face,The one-eyed jazz as hickeys , little fury, if I don't black what you've got. _

As soon as the grinding made us halt another song blared out through the lights and heat. Joe smiled softly at me. And I nodded back. Both of us breathless, but needing this slow moving moment.

_Childhood living is easy to do The things you wanted I bought them for you Graceless lady, you know who I am, You know I can't let you slide through my hands Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, Couldn't drag me away... I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain Now you decided to show me the same No sweeping exits or offstage lines, Can make me feel bitter or treat you unkind Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away,Wild, wild horses, Couldn't drag me away... _

_I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie, I have my freedom but I don't have much time Faith has been broken tears must be cried, Let's do some living after we die _

Even in the shoes Joe still had some feet on me. I listened to his heart and feeling of it as the song blared out. My eyes started filling up and my heart was beating faster. I brought my eyes up to him and he looked down to mine. "Thank you." I whispered.

"All I wanted to do was save you Rose. That's all I ever want to do. "

"You do save me Joe. I can't ask for anyone better than you in my life. I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. It's hard-"

" I know it's hard. but count that I won't go any fucking where. At least not without you. Billy is stupid and if he can't realize that..." I pressed my finger to his lips, I knew he didn't want to say Billy wasn't good enough and I wasn't ready to hear anyone let alone Joe his own brother say it. He lifted my chin up. "Happy birthday Rose Donovan." And then his lips leaned down towards me.

**Her bouncing had Baggy, Billy and Bodie on edge. Traffic resulted in Billy making threats and using many fingers. But when they finally arrived and went on through the mass. The place was not Billy's scene and Lindsay bounced off they all sighed in relief. The song was slow and sappy, much like Billy's mind and Nazi creeping up. He looked into the crowd not knowing how to react as he received many stares, until he saw something, better yet someone. His mouth dropped about the same time Baggy and Bodie gasped in synch in shock. **

Joe pressed his lips to my cheek instead. I was silently grateful at the sweet heated gesture. I didn't know if I could contain myself in public, high emotions and all.

_Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, We'll ride them someday Wild Horses, Couldn't drag me away, Wild, wild horses, We'll ride them someday_

I looked aside as someone hit me moving to go somewhere, just as the song had ended. My eyes widened and I turned around. "Rose I didn't know-"

"What are they doing here?!" I shouted tears already threatening to spill. Joe looked to my eyes with sympathy.

"**What the fuck are they doing here?!" Billy shouted.**

"**Shit when he said..." Bodie trailed off. **

"**You mean you fuckin' knew they were gonna be here and you didn't fucking tell me?"**

"**No I didn't know!" Bodie shouted. **

"**But you knew Joe was with her?"**

"**That whore is here?" Lindsay shouted. She started forward before Bodie could grasp her arm. **

" I fucking can't believe they would be here."

"They probably didn't know we would either." Joe stated back.

"I can't do this."

_The moment I brought my eyes to him my heart sped up. He wore dark jeans and a tight black button down, with the first three undone. The tattoos seeping up from his neck. His blue eyes held me to my spot and I wanted so badly to run. He looked so different and my anger only boiled more. Baggy and Bodie stood next to him on his right and left. I saw her gleaming dressed in leather and pink charge over to me and I moved forward. _

"Whoa." Joe grabbed me and pulled me just as Billy pulled Lindsay. I pulled on Joe's shirt. "Dance with me. Make me fucking forget?" I pleaded with other intentions in mind. Joe only nodded, understanding all to well.

I moved my hips in a circle and my curls slithered all around my back.

This was it this was the last straw. He had stood up for me and I was all ready and willing to let my bat from it's cage. There not going to ruin my night. The drums played. I wasn't sure as I started shaking, but looked to Joe. He had black jeans on, his black shoes. And a black tight fitting t-shirt. My eyes darkened and my palms pushed together. You can do this you have to! Joe is here for you he still loves you he didn't know. Show Billy Rose show him! And Like a drug I let it hit me to my high, let it speed through my veins and I pushed myself into Joe's warm legs and chest. Bringing his hands up to my bare legs and swaying my hips in motion roughly side to side. I threw my head back and let my hair swirl around my face. Every scent, every breath of air was like a magnetic force. Me pulling Joe closer, Joe's hands running up my thighs. The glares flowing from Billy's eyes. I could hear Joe's heart beating in synch with mine. The sugar flowing through my veins. Pure satisfying.

_I Know That Once In LoveYou Don't Think Of The Devil Who's InsideAnd Maybe It Will Come One DayWhen You'll Feel Safe And I won't Have the Time_

_You Hear What You Wanna Hear Blink Once I Could DisappearSome Rules To The Game Of Meget it right for both of us_

_Just Say What You Wanna SayI've Got It To Give AwayWe Both Want To Make It Last So Keep Your Eyes On Me, Your Eyes On Me_

I pushed his hand up my thigh and twisted into him, pushing myself into his groin. I could feel his stomach tighten and my skin flush. I grabbed his jean covered hips and turned myself to face the four standing a yard away from us. Bodie a hold of Lindsay and Billy's hands crushed so tightly together they were turning white and his breathing rough. His eyes sparkled darkly and they burned into us.

_It's not an illusion That you're the one And I have fallen deep I said it from the start When we're apart You must only think of me Temptation is all around Take good care of what you found That's why when I turn around You better keep You better keep your eyes on me No matter what you think I need No matter what you once believed If you're mine So you better say No matter what you think of me No it doesn't really matter what you once believed I wanna be the air you breathe Yeah you better be everything you said you'd be I'm gonna be your only one We really can't go on No matter what you think of me You better keep your eyes on me You say that you want me Open up your heart Even if it's hard Say that you need me Then let him know Baby don't put on a show _

His eyes twinkled and darkened more and more and more. I pulled on Joe and pushed him by his bottom roughly to me. He grasped under my dress and touching just to the rim of my panties he pushed up as we moved back and forth. I had bite back a moan. The more our hips moved faster, the higher the friction built. It built and built.

"**Billy she's been humiliated enough. Let's let her have a good night."**

"**Her night her fucking night and goddamn Joe! Fuck. Fuck!" He hollered. Bodie's hand slipped and away went Lindsay. Billy was to busy breathing and his eyes perched as Joe had his hands up the back of Rose's tight dress. "My fucking spot my fucking-" His breathing became rougher. "Billy come the fuck down man." Baggy laid a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get this whore and you out of here-"**

"**Where the fuck is she?"**

_I could hear the heels stomping and Joe's hands removed themselves fast as I felt someone pull me back. I turned to face her. I wasn't letting this shit go. Not tonight!_

"Hey bitch. What looks like a whore smells like one and always sounds like one." I grinned.

"You bitch are you a fucking stalker now huh? You need the fucking police to get through to your ass?"

"Ask Wallis Lindsay. She already wants a piece of that Darley pie. With a special whip cream." I smirked looking darkly at Billy. " The deck is fucking stacked in my favor and if you excuse me Joe and I have a diner to attend to."

"Well, I guess I should let you know about my own personal stack." She giggled. Joe and I turned around smirking. "What your fake tits?" I laughed.

"No this." She flung her left hand out and my eyes widened as it sparkled. A silver band with diamonds in it and a red heart perched onto the top. The ring I always told Billy I wanted. On her left finger....

"So where the fuck you steal that from?" Joe snapped, not getting it yet.

"Better watch fucking with the real whore here Joe. Or Billy won't let you be best man."

His eyes widened. "He fucking didn't liar! Rose you know Billy wouldn't ever marry anyone, but maybe..."

"I found it this morning and he told me himself. And Bodie or Bordie. You know what it feels like to have Billy Darley's ring on your finger?" She leaned over and whispered in my face. Joe's hand was shaking, and I soon found it wasn't his hand, but my shoulder. My whole body was shaking. I turned on my heel and my heart was pumping. He can't he can't. "Rose?" Joe called out.

I pushed past the cursing people my mood no longer high up. My heart was sinking further and my tears were already pooling from my eyes. My Billy.....

The bouncer held my coat out and I didn't even bother with it. The rain was already starting to sound against the pavement. The air hit my legs as I stormed outside. The heels cracking with each step. I heard the door open. "Rose come on please come back."

He finally caught up to me and I looked up to him. "Joe.." I whimpered so hoarsely. "Oh my god. No. This can't be happening." I started breathing harshly before he pulled me into him. Another pair of heels was cracking against the pavement and my anger boiled up. No more! "Lindsay." Bodie shouted.

I yanked from Joe and charged across the pavement at her. As she opened her mouth and her smell and blonde hair flashed in front of me I raised my hand and swung as hard as I could. It connected with her face. I doubled my fist and threw it into her stomach, she pulled me by my hair to the ground with her. The coldness suddenly swirled all around me with the night. Joe was shouting. Baggy. Bodie. "YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU WHORE! I'LL TEACH YOU TO FUCK WITH ME!" I screamed.

She retracted her hand and threw her nails across my face, the blood already pooling across it. She pulled at my navel ring and I twisted her hand and slammed it into the concrete. "HURT YOUR FUCKING HANDS BITCH! YOU BITCH!"

But my anger took flight and I swung and kept swinging. I had her hair and my fist kept connecting with her face. The pain twisting and the blood flying. I didn't whose blood was what? "Rose Rose." Joe yelped frantically and someone else yanked my from her, my fist still swinging. "Calm down girl calm down."

My breath shined into the night air. "NO THAT WHORE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME. EVERYTHING. BILLY DARLEY I HATE YOU. GODDAMN NAZI I FUCKING HATE YOU. LET ME GET THAT BITCH BODIE GET OFF ME. GET OFF GET OFF. SHE RUINED EVERYTHING. SHE RUINED MY JOB. LET ME GO!" I kicked and the tears came more and more looser. Baggy stood silent his face in pain and Joe had pulled me from Bodie. "God damn it Billy!" He yelled out.

Billy stood silently. I stopped kicking and pressed myself into Joe. As soon as he let me go I turned on my heel dodging all three men. I didn't go for Lindsay broken on the ground. I went straight for Billy. All I could see was red. I pulled my hand up and slapped him so hard he stumbled. The music to loud inside for anyone to hear or see the true rep of the Darley's. "ENGAGED!"

I swung again. "How could you do that. You know how I feel about you. HOW- HOW COULD YOU!" I screamed, gritting my teeth. "Why? What did I do for you to hate me this much. That ring and you." I stopped hitting. His eyes were emotionless. But I knew better. "Say something? Can't feel huh?" I slapped him and he took a step back. "Can't feel anything. Gang lord gang leader. Billy fucking Darley." I cried. "You can't feel me?" At this point my voice faltered. "Why don't you want me?" My eyes went to the ground.

Joe had come over and pulled me to him as I cried into his chest. "What did I do Joe? Oh god." I moaned out. Billy stood silently.

**Nazi couldn't help him now. It stung. The pain was vile in his throat and tightening his muscles. Stop this. Take her in your arms she still loves you. He sniffed and turned his back as Joe pulled Rose away. "Let's go home." He pulled her with him.**

**Bodie placed his hand on Billy's shoulder. Billy gulped a couple of times. He sniffed and when he opened his mouth he just walked off, his body shaking. "Billy please man." And when Billy turned around Baggy and Bodie both were rendered speechless. The rain falling on him, but what they saw was his eyes, that were always so calm or cold, were full of water and it was running down his cheeks. Their leader. Cold, fearless. Lifeless. Not emotion. Capable of killing anyone. Lindsay's cries the only sound coming from all around them. **

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Oh my god. Oh my god." I cried out. Joe had already pulled my shoes off and set me on my bed. "Rose I'm sorry I'm so sorry. If I had any idea they'd be there." He rubbed m thighs as he stood crouched in front of me.

"How could he? He was supposed to be mine. Billy Darley and I. We...." I bit my lip as it quivered and wrapped my arms around myself. Joe got up and set next to me. Hurt in his own eyes, evident. "I don't know Rose. I don't know Billy anymore. I wanted this night to make you smile and all I do is fuck your life up worse."

"No." I managed. "Joe please don't leave me. I can't fucking." I threw my arms around him. Nothing was said, but when I looked up as he rubbed my back our lips connected and I pulled him back, loosing myself in my feelings for Joe and wanting to forget. "Make me forget," I whispered into his lips." Make me forget."

So, whatcha think? Was it what u wanted to see. Lemme say first of all, its far from over yet with Lindsay. Don't count out her yet. And someone from the past chapter makes a return. Any guesses? ;) Rate and review if U liked it.

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**_P.S. Yes, I made Big bad Billy Darley cry a little, but hey that's how I see him some times. I figured why not just push his confused self over the edge. He won't be crying anymore though, trust me. He is Billy afterall. *whistles* hahaha. My plans begin soon. And Pt.2 will be out within the next 1-3 days. So look for that soon. The real hardcore drama is about to begin. -Kris._**


	8. Chapter 7 pt2 : The Birthday Angel

_A/N: And you'll notice that as the chapters progress (for reasons of getting a better flow at writing) I've switched the POV's from 1st person to 3rd. That won't be for a few chapters or so. Remember, I still have quite a few coming. LOL. So be prepared. I'll also update some links for my characters and coming characters. _

_Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! JAMES WAN AND HIS WRITING TEAM/CREW ARE GIVEN SOLE CREDIT! NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED! SONG BELONGS TO THAT OF R&B ARTIST, THE WONDERFUL OMARION AND THE PRODUCERS ON HIS ALBUM THAT HELPED. LYRICS ARE NOT MINE! I CLAIM NOTHING!_

_SONG: MIDNIGHT BY OMARION_

_---------------_

_Make me forget!_ And those were the words that left my mouth. I hated how much I needed a Darley to make me feel alive, but it helped oh god did it ever help. Joe had pulled me back against the comforter and his hands were already hot all over my body. He felt too good to stop now. Half of me felt so guilty for wanting to give in. Just fourteen years ago I was a newly changed little girl. And I didn't know it at the time, but I had a hell of a long way to go.

"Rose? Rose. I think. That we should. Stop." Joe spoke out between pants.

I looked up into his deep blue eyes and all I could see was hurt and desire fighting themselves. He blinked very little as he stared back into my eyes. Leaning my head back into the bed I thought. If I let this happen, give into Joe needing me what would happen afterward? All throughout our years together every single person in Billy's gang had treated sex as an act, but what I thought of it as was something that shouldn't be taken lightly. Especially coming from no family at all, whereas Billy had Joe and before the others Baggy and Bodie, they treated it as something no more important then a piece of plastic that fell on the floor. Make sure it's picked up and thrown out properly. Maybe not the best metaphor to describe it.

I went out on whims occasionally of course. Because once I started having sex and with Billy being around me I couldn't stop. I hadn't been with anyone else until I turned eighteen, Billy was my first and though he'd acted the next day as though nothing had happened I was overwhelmed. I got to see him the night he held me. And from that moment on just like it'd always been. Something had clicked between Billy Darley and I. we didn't even need words. Just comfort. The sex was always the best it could be. Glamorizing Billy Darley, no! To say the sex was great would be an understatement. He was the best at everything he did. Sometimes I just couldn't understand what he was thinking.

The more I thought about loosing grip from him the more I pulled at needing Joe. I nodded. "Joe? Whatever you want." I whispered, running my fingers over the trace of dark colored hair that edged out onto his forehead.

"No," He whispered back, running a hand over my cheek. "Your night, your decision."

"I want..." I trailed off. Stopping myself. Joe's eyes were full of emotions, his Darley blue eyes. I smiled up at him. My answer simple, only ones who could hear it were Joe and me. The words echoed off my tongue and the space between our foreheads as he kept caressing my cheek. "I want you." I placed both of my hands firmly around the side of his face and leaned up, placing my lips against his gently.

**_It started out like any other day_**

**_But it what anythin' but_**

**_Somethin' bout the way the moon was shinin'_**

**_Somethin' seems so different, no_**

**_Got in my car but didn't have no reason_**

**_Swear I was drivin' but somethin' else was leadin' me_**

**_Lost all track of time, damn_**

**_The next thing, you won't believe_**

----------------------------------

It didn't matter who was going to be hurt now. The damage had been done.

I let the emotions take me over. I was hurt, angry, depressed and in the need of someone's company. I needed someone else's touch. Joe he came at just the right moment. Tonight wasn't really about my birthday. I never really cared about being born into the family I had so why care about the actual physical date of it? I don't think sleeping with someone else can ever cure a problem you have. It's like doing drugs. You can escape the problem for only a few short hours. And sure it's nice to feel a little out of your loop, or high. Whatever though! When you keep doing the drugs to escape your problems, when you finally come back down from that high. Then you're dependent on something else that has just caused another problem on top of everything else. So why do it? It's very confusing I know. It took me a few good years after my detox to finally see that. But I did at just nineteen.

But the worst kinds of problems don't come from sex addicts! They don't come from power hungry tycoons. They come from broken down people. And in this world I've lived in. Drug addicts! I've been to the dark side long enough to know using someone to feel is better than using a needle to feel. So me using Joe. Huh, what kind of person do you still think this makes me? I'm not what I used to be and I never will be. I have to back out now! I don't, god I don't want to at all. He's so warm, so much like Billy. But he's not Billy at all. He never will be Billy for me, no one can ever be! I look into his blue eyes and I see Joe Darley. A tiny bit baby faced. With his familiar soft hair, rough chin and hands. He's warm. He feels good. And most importantly he's here. On top of me kissing me.

After tonight maybe we both deserve to have someone. I look up and Joe who is kissing his way up my neck. I squeeze on his shoulder lightly. "Rose?" He questions.

"Joe..." I trail off. And as if he can read my mind he lifts back into a sitting position. I lean up as well already missing his comfort. I never thought being in his arms this way could feel so good. I never thought this would ever happen.

"I never thought you'd actually let me go this far." Joe speaks out breaking the semi awkward silence.

I'm glad he did. My mind is only thinking of one thing and that is needing his rough yet soft touch. And his warm comfort. I look up at him with pleading eyes. "Is this... what you want...?" I pause between words.

He looks at me and cracks his famous Darley smirk. But to me it was my favorite charming smile that Joey had. "For a damn long while now." He states flat out. His tone is warm. I smile back at him and nod. I scoot back until I hit the edge of my frilly blue pillows. My right foot goes to my left and I push the heel off the foot and repeat the

Process to the other.

_**At 9 o'clock, I saw her**_

_**By 10, I had her number**_

_**11's when I called her**_

_**At 12 o'clock, it happened, I gotta blame**_

_**Midnight, I was caught up**_

_**It's like I couldn't help myself if I wanted to**_

_**(Blame it on midnight)**_

_**If she found out about us would it be a good excuse?**_

_**(Midnight)**_

_**It's 12 o'clock, tick tock tick, the clothes drop**_

_**She's on top and I don't even wanna stop, no**_

_**Made me disregard and break my baby's heart**_

_**I know I did wrong but I blame it on midnight**_

"Come here." I partially whisper, motioning my hands for him to come to me. He smiles his genuine smile. His hands swiftly move upward and he slips his arms out of the red leather jacket he always wears. He tosses it at the trunk setting in front of the foot of my bed. The storm has already blown the lights out, but the dark at this point is sounding more and more fulfilling. It's not pitch black. The building just outside my window has its back up generators on finally. The light is dim, yet just right. Severe storms are all too familiar to me.

Even when they strike just after the snow has melted in the dead of winter. He does the same with his shoes. I scoot back a little more and push my knees upward. He comes between my knees as I grasp onto his shoulders. His lips press firmly into mine, the kiss is eager, passionate. His own impatient fingers start to unbutton his shirt, but I grab his wrist. He looks down at me. I only give him my best smirk before undoing the buttons at a fast pace myself.

_**Still here I know I'm in trouble**_

_**But I'ma finished what I started**_

He's looking down at me smirking by the time I have the entire shirt unbuttoned He pushes me back into the pillows. His dog tags are dangling from his neck, what I love is when a man wears some kind of symbolic jewelry. Especially when I can grab onto it. I don't waste one second before grasping the chain in my right hand and yanking Joe further into me. My eager tongue forces his mouth to open. My hands catch with his as we both push his shirt off his shoulders and he tosses it to the floor carelessly. These clothes now are our real problem. "The enemy." He growls with a devilish look, as he pulls on the button of my jeans. I lift up as it doesn't take him long to unsnap it open. He has my zipper down in three seconds.

_**My heart is tellin' me to leave here**_

_**But my body's sayin' stay longer**_

He yanks my jeans down and a light breeze hits my legs and travels up giving me goose bumps. I shiver and he tosses my pants somewhere behind him not even bothering to look. My own anxious sweaty hands grab the bottom of my top and pull it up. I get it over my head and toss it over Joe's head somewhere either of us cares about right now. He looks at me for a moment. I smile lightly at him; a pink blush is creeping onto my cheeks. I want to be good for him. I just want to feel him right now. He deserves this. He deserves some care now. No hooker can give him that! I am willing to bet on that. Cheap doesn't ever come in big packages. Nor does it return to its expenses! That is if it ever had any?

I place my hands over the cool metal of his belt buckle. I undo the clasp in only a matter of seconds and with that another popping sound is heard as I get the button open. The belt buckle sways to the side and clatters. I tug the zipper down and push up on my comforter. Joe lifts up as I put myself underneath its warmth. The sheets are slightly cool against my skin. He pushes the blanket aside and climbs on top of me. He's not the most built in abs guy, but he is still a Darley. The thought of what I know he is packing makes me smirk. A little scrawny on the outside. A hidden gun of his own. At this point I can't wait any longer. The moisture I feel already underneath my lace is making me mad. The heat is rising into my cheeks and I can feel my heart getting faster. It's starting to flutter. I push his jeans down and this time I don't even know if that item of clothing made it off the bed. We only remain in our undergarments. His breathing is raged and husky. "Rose..." he whispers into my ear as he grazes it lightly with his teeth. I take in a deep gust of air. My breathing picks up if even possible at a faster rate. My legs are shifting in an eager position. As of now I am sure that we are skipping foreplay! But I could be wrong?

_**We're goin' strong while my cell phone's blowin' up**_

_**I know it's wrong but somethin' else is leadin' me**_

His hands are traveling everywhere. Including rubbing the softness of the inner thighs. I moan out. He knows he's teasing me. I can't wait for him to make the first move. I push his boxers down with my hands. Another lost article. His lips go back to my neck, but his hands lift my thighs up by the bottom. I throw my head back. An eager growling is forming in the pit of my throat. While his teeth bite down on my neck I gasp. Just like a Darley to make a mark. Well leave one on purpose. I take my hands off his waist and bring them to the top of my panties. I push them down and lift up some. As I kick them loose the coolness of the sheet hits my bottom and back. And the warmth of Joe is radiating down.

I take the time to have myself a little peak. I giggle to myself. He's definitely a Darley I think, as I look downward to the bulge. If I thought I was anxious before now I was beginning to squirm. I wanted him badly. "Joe." I begged out.

**_Lost all track of time, damn_**

**_The sex is just too good to leave_**

"Yeah." He huskily spoke cockiness to his voice.

"Hurry." I tried to speak, but it came out in a moan-filled cry.

He laughed. My hand squeezes again into his waist. I open my legs up trying to position myself. He's not having that right now! His knees close my legs. "Joe." I breathe out. "Fucking stop."

He brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "To demanding." He chuckles.

Before I dig my nails into him to make a mark he grabs my wrist and pins them above my head. "Ok enough Joey. You've had your fun, but I want, -oh!" I moan out. I had forgotten what I was saying and focused on feeling Joe's hand and what it was doing. I threw my head back and moaned out. His palm was caressing me in circles. They weren't light, they weren't fast. They were somewhere in between. He'd change his course and after a matter of seconds he'd start rubbing in the other direction. It didn't take long before my legs began to shake. His mission must be to take out the longest fucking session to me. I'd had enough time to crave. When he places his lips on my collarbone I took the time to spread open my legs and I slid down quickly. Before he had the time to react I grasped the chain around his neck and pushed upward. But what surprised me was as I expected to finally feel that warmth sail into me I didn't. He had pulled upward until the tip was grazing me. I looked up at his smirking face. "Joe come on." I whimpered. His face stayed frozen on me to the point where it sort of scared me. His look was solemn, but straight. "Joe?" I questioned. I suddenly wondered if he hadn't thought something. Did he want to back out? I had enough time to stop thinking and just let my actions do the thinking for me. I raised up as he did. His knees were still bent and my legs were slightly open as I set up looking at him. He looked away. "Joey?" I whimpered again starting to get worried.

My eyes darted back and forth as he stayed frozen. His eyes locked to the floor. I let my eyes wonder around the room. The rain visible on the light purple walls in my room. I let my hands go from the mattress and pushed myself up a little more. Before I could speak I heard him breathe in sharply. Finally his head lifted up. As to somehow ease the moment and my uncomfortable feeling. I placed my arms over my bare breast as he turned to me. His eyes searched mine. They followed back and forth. "You sure Rose?" He spoke with sincerity and hope in his tone. I wasn't used to Joe trying to be this respectful and calm when I was setting here ready to take him. He almost had me. I threw myself at him for fuck's sake.

"I could ask you the same question." I said, trying to sound the same as him, but it only came out as hurt. He looked up at me. His hand hit the mattress and he nodded a little. I scooted back not knowing what I was supposed to do next. The scared feeling came over me. As I started to think Joe's hands pushed down on my waist and he climbed on top of me. Not wasting time with blankets he grabbed my legs from the bottom and opened them widely. I wasn't prepared when he pushed into me. I gasped upon the contact. "Jesus Joe." I called out.

_**At 1 o'clock I'm in it**_

_**2 o'clock still in it**_

_**Then 3 o'clock I'm finished**_

_**At 4 o'clock, I'm drivin' home, I gotta blame**_

"No one is saving anyone tonight." He spoke lowly.

Getting used to a size this big wasn't the easiest thing at first. The only other person with a size bigger, but remotely close to this was well.... I think you know it was Billy. I hissed a little. When he was preparing to stop I mentally laughed a little. Billy never stopped. He knew I'd get used to him, so he kept pushing. Fucking hell Billy isn't here now. Joe is! I shook my head. "Just do it Joey." I lightly called out.

"You sure?"

"MM MM HMM." I moaned out, letting my eyelids flutter shut.

"Rose you really sure because I-" I growled cutting him off in the middle of his smart-ass teasing remarks. My turn for some control and this he can't refuse. I rolled us over quickly and his eyes popped open with shock as I rounded up on top and him on the frilly pillows. I smirked. "Just hold still." I spoke. His eyes were watching me. I could feel his knees vibrating for control back. That way he can be the one controlling the teasing and speed of the thrust. Now I had the control. Get ready for round one, the first one Joey... I thought. I rocked my hips backwards and then moved up as slow as I possibly could. It felt so good that I had to practically stab my teeth into my lip to keep my moans away for now. I wasn't done with my game yet!

"Fuck." His husky tone moaned out. It was starting to become a little too much for me. His voice was deep, his breathing was hard. And the sweat against his chest now forming with the dog tags made my legs buckle. I knew that if something didn't happen I was going to end up the weak one of the teasing vengeance. I curled back a moan and dug my nails into the top of his chest. I pushed up and gave him one solid buck that made his knees jerk. His head went back a little. He looked up at me with those sparkling green eyes and he flipped me over. I didn't complain as he pulled out and gave a massive thrust that pulled my knees up off the bed.

_**Midnight, I was caught up**_

_**It's like I couldn't help myself if I wanted to**_

_**(Blame it on midnight)**_

_**If she found out about us would it be a good excuse?**_

_**(Midnight)**_

_**It's 12 o'clock, tick tock tick, the clothes drop**_

_**She's on top and I don't even wanna stop, no**_

_**Made me disregard and break my baby's heart**_

_**I know I did wrong but I blame it on midnight**_

His hands went to my thighs and lifted them in his hands. "Joe keep going." I moaned out, completely breathless.

He got my knees held up, with his knuckles pressed right against my bottom, they were warm and the extra tiny feeling felt to good. I shivered lightly at the contact. He chuckled loudly. He pushed forward and thrust right into me once more. "Oh god, fuck." I whimpered out, my head pulling right up from the pillow. I lost all cautious thinking and let myself loose all control all guards. My hands dug into the bed, head back into the pillow. Joe hadn't a care either as his face flushed to a slight red shade, his slow thrust sending me into a line stars I never thought he could shoot. Sheets flew, more clothes flew. I wrapped my legs around his waist, his hands grasping in mine. He couldn't get any closer then he already was. His hot skin pressed into mine and I wanted it to get hotter.

**_What have ya done, it's 5 A.M., oh_**

**_Hookin' up wit somebody that you don't even know_**

**_How you gonna get yourself out of this one_**

**_You got a girl at home_**

"Joe." I cried out, as the tightening started easing into me. It was coming a big wave of it was rolling through my body.

_**I can blame it on my car breakin' down or**_

_**I can say that I was workin' late and didn't know**_

_**That you was waitin' up, I never showed up**_

_**Girl, I know it's my fault**_

My arms and legs turned slightly cold, frozen at the moment against his hot skin and I felt that burn I wanted. How could this be so good? Joe knew exactly how to take someone, but he knew how to take me. My toes curled and I locked my ankles to the bed. I pushed my muscles down as the first spasm rocketed through me. I moaned and closed my eyes or the fluttering would make me massively dizzy. When sex is bad it's really sucks. When it's normal it's fine. When it's this good, better then a movie then it's addictive. Something only a Darley has been able to prove. I moaned out as a new throb formed shooting down two more spasms that joined the other. I fumbled my hands until I grabbed a fistful of Joe's hair. God hair something to finally grab. It felt soft between my fingers. I didn't hold back in pulling. I wanted to cry, plead for him to get closer. We both moaned as I lifted up into him, my breast pressing into his chest. I could feel the first orgasm end and then I felt Joe stiffen against me.

I smiled inwardly and looked to his face as he sped up harder and dipped his head into my neck with every harsh thrust. I moaned out as he sped up and the tingling returned. I knew I was going to come again. He grunted and pushed roughly before I felt warm seep throughout me. He buried his face to the top of my chest with deep hard breathes. "No Joe don't stop yet." I begged out in a moan. "Oh damn Rose." he breathed out. His arms pushed up once more and his thrust died down to slow little dips. I moaned out appreciating the gratifying feeling of his work. "God." I threw my head back into the pillow and felt myself smile as my vision slurred towards the ceiling. I wrapped my legs tighter around Joe, until I couldn't push them any closer. He grunted in response before he sped up and brought another wave out inside of me. I threw my nails into his back and arched my entire body up and off the bed. "Joe?" I managed to moan out.

Midnight, I was caught up

It's like I couldn't help myself if I wanted to

_**(Blame it on midnight)**_

If she found out about us would it be a good excuse?

_**(Midnight)**_

"Yeah?" But the husky amount inside his voice had lowered to a low rumble in his throat as he spoke, furthering my muscle spasms. "Come with me." I lapped out; grabbing onto the back of his neck as a thrust arched me into him, making the sheets torn to shreds practically.

_**It's 12 o'clock, tick tock tick, the clothes drop**_

_**She's on top and I don't even wanna stop, no**_

_**Made me disregard and break my baby's heart**_

_**I know I did wrong but I blame it on midnight**_

At that point he didn't speak. I felt the beginning of the end as he started to pulse deep inside of me. I bit my lip as beads of sweat rolled down my forehead and the cold returned to my palms. I pushed downward making the fullness known. Joe pushed upward and dug his hands into the pillow beside me. It ended up on the other side of my head and as my body was now fully flat against the mattress, with Joe's weighing it down slightly I could feel the heat flame up and radiate even more.

**_Midnight, I was caught up_**

**_It's like I couldn't help myself if I wanted to_**

**_(Blame it on midnight)_**

**_If she found out about us would it be a good excuse?_**

**_(Midnight_**

I threw my head all around, so fast it was making me dizzy as the feeling overtook me. I cried out as my muscles pulled and Joe pulsed before stiffening. I felt a rush of warmth fill me. Joe let out one loud grumble and pushed his head to my chest and his body slanted. He fell still and rolled off of me.

"Jesus." I panted, staring at the blurring ceiling.

"Fuck." Joe spoke out, just as much loss of breath from him. I turned over and he lay still his chest heaving up and down and his face red. My body had those familiar patches of red on them as my heart was beating so fast I thought it would blow out of my chest. Joe turned to look at me; just as the familiar rumble of thunder sounded followed my beats of rain. He smiled his heart-warming smile and pulled me to him. We lay tangled up, red faced, hearts pumping and sweat still dry and fluid on us. He leaned up and pulled my purple comforter from the foot of the bed and pulled it above us both. I threw my arms over the top, liking the feeling when it covered me. Joe pulled it just above his waist and pulled a pillow from the floor, propping up behind his head. He moved his head around trying to get comfortable and for some reason both of us remained silent. I situated myself within his arms and lay there listening to the rain. But my heart began to lurch as I thought about that birthday exactly ten years ago.

**_It's 12 o'clock, tick tock tick, the clothes drop_**

**_She's on top and I don't even wanna stop_**

When I was a virgin. And when Billy Darley took that from me. For the very first time we made love. Together! My eyes shut with the memories and that night came back to my faster than anything.

(Billy)

Stupid ass fucking rain. It has to rain every night here. Rose looked amazing tonight. That black dress, her best color. And heels. The thought made me laugh. She never wore them. She was all over Joe. Some fucking brother he was. Lindsay found the ring that I never thought I'd end up buying. My teeth clenched at the thought of his hands up her dress. He knows exactly what she means to me. Bodie warned me that something like this would happen. My little fucker of a brother, who was supposed to be my property and my shit to straighten out, took Rose home. Stupid fucking club. I picked up another glass and threw it across the room, this one sliding across the floor and not breaking. "Fuck!" I shouted.

Lindsay bounded out of the bathroom and her feet slammed into the glass. "Shit. Ah." She yelled. I smirked. Dumb bitch...

"God damn it." She cried, hollering, holding her scraped foot up. She looked at me huffing. "Clean that fucking shit up before you come to bed Linds." I spat.

Her teeth were baring themselves over her lip. I thought about Rose and the real birthday we celebrated ten years ago. When Bodie truly stepped up and proved himself. When I felt Rose tighten around me. The first man to take it from her. Everything was shitty back then too. But I wouldn't go back for anything. Having all of this is too much to loose. If Bones hadn't fucking deemed Lindsay as his best customer, or Ralph being her shitty ass fucking brother. He already made moves on Rose and if I didn't step up like fucking usual then Rose would be permanently removed.

My nose crinkled and I hated thinking about the storm going on. Not out-fucking-side.

The two people I'd loved most. My own fucking life taking the backseat so that she could keep hers. Lindsay came out noticing my warning look and slithered into bed, wrapping herself around me.

~*~*~*~*

I thrust into Lindsay harshly and she didn't even take notice as her moans were louder than the fucking wrath of Bones. Her nails sunk into my skin and all I could think about was one person. And those ten years ago when I came up with the best night of this thing called life.

------------

There's the next chapter. I will say that I'm up to chapter 17 as far as posting. I've just been posting on Mr. Hedlund Fanfiction though haha. Expect more chapters and some new characters to come you're way. Remember leave me R&R of any kind. It always helps. -Kristen


	9. Chapter 8: Rose's Dream

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Darley gang, or the Darley men. Oh how I wish I could have some time to kill with them though, lolz. But, you know the drill by now. All original characters belong to James Wan. The song used in this chapter belong to the artist/bands of: Lifehouse, Eric Carmen & the Motorhomes. _

_Songs: Everything -Lifehouse_

_Hungry Eyes -Eric Carmen_

_Into the Night- the Motorhomes_

_A/N will be in the end of the chapter, haha. Now, read on and I hope that you enjoy it! :)_

_**Warning: This chapter contains sexually explicit content! Skip over if you don't prefer that sort of thing, but you have been warned!** _

_---------------------------------_

_The vision of his blue eyes and the look on his face. It captivated me._

_**Find me here, speak to me**_

_**I want to feel you, I need to hear you**_

_**You are the light that's leading me to the place**_

_**Where I find peace again**_

_**You are the strength that keeps me walking**_

_**You are the hope that keeps me trusting**_

_**You are the life to my soul**_

_**You are my purpose**_

_**You're everything **_

_My hands were brave enough to pull open his pants. I'll never forget the air space between us. When even his breathing was uneven and I had no breath at all. When he touched me gently and brought me to my high for the very first time._

_But he wasn't the one next to me, was he? _

_Joe groaned in his sleep and I couldn't help but smile at his baby face. It was relaxed and looked content. I curled up to his arms and it wasn't long before I found myself replaying the night of ten years ago exact! Inside of my head the dream swept over me and the last things that I heard was the rolling of thunder and the sound of Billy's mustang as the memory started._

_*----------------*_

Everything had gone from bad to amazing tonight. Something in the air was different. It was like ever member of the gang knew that was something was going down. Things were tighter running tonight. Waking up this morning to a not so sweet sixteen was hell. The thing I'd forgotten was that Alex was dead and couldn't hit me, but that didn't mean that Baggy and Lilly's surrogate stepfather didn't take a few swings. He used to be a drinking and heroin buddy of Alex's. He hit on everyone else as well and I really was a tad bit surprised when he started smacking me around. There was nothing none of us could do, yet! Billy was working on something I knew, but like every person he didn't eliminate right away, it meant Bones had them into his mix and tied like puppets to his greasy strings.

I let my hand swirl through the air as Billy drove. He'd had this mustang for a year and already it was his number one priority. Next to his penis. Some workers at the "body shop" quote on that, put the swirls on the two mustangs for the guys. The red one went to Heco since he put the majority of the money onto that one and the black one went to Billy of course. It suited him well. And I always loved the feeling of how it rode. I settled into the cool leather and let the scent of the night air fill my lungs. I could smell the rain coming.

The one thing had settled me was the tune of Hungry Eyes blasting clearly through the black glossed up notch of the radio. Billy was letting me listen to it and I didn't know why he was being overly surprising tonight? My hair blew out, and the comfort of my clothes. Everything felt good. Billy's fingers tapped against the leather wheel and a cigarette hung loosely from his lips. My head turned to Billy and I stared in wonder and desire at him as the second chorus came around.

_**I want to hold you so hear me out**_

_**I want to show you what loves all about**_

_**Darlin' tonight**_

_**Now I've got you in my sights**_

I looked at him in that light that just centered my body and hit my brain with size mic force. I let my finger play with the loose strands of hair blowing about as we passed alleys and buildings, to the deeper side of Rockside. In other words: The more troublemsome part of a place that reeked the most trouble. Yes, it is bad!

I looked at Billy, his blue eyes were focused on the road; his beautiful lips were closed over those milky white teeth. His black shirt fit tightly against his muscles. His long legs were covered with those tight dark blue jeans and boots that scruff- Ed the jean look up a bit. He wore that simple leather belt with silver clasp.

The newest tattoo seeping down his wrist and the newest swirl I'd gotten around my sides. It reminded me of what marked that body in such a unique way. It made my legs curl. The cross necklace dangled from him. His moppy blonde hair hung against his eyes, but cropped just enough. The slight stubble across his chin and above his mouth made him look older than eighteen. But in the most adulterous kind of way. No unions here, but god if I was married. I shook my head smiling at Billy.

It took his eyes a few seconds to register that I was looking at him. He turned slowly and smiled at me. I smiled knowingly at him. "Staring are we?" He smirked.

"Maybe. Maybe not." I giggled.

"Fuckin' eh right?"

" I dunno. There's no eh in fuck," I laughed.

It was silent a few moments after our little laughter spout died down and Billy spoke after taking a deep breath. "Rose?"

"Where are we going?" I interrupted. Noticing that we were driving down and alley that I had never seen before.

I scooted away from the window a little bit, and he lightly chuckled. "Just you wait."

He scratched the back of his head again. "Rose?" He asked again.

"Billy, seriously where are we going?" I asked with slight concern.

"Damn it!" He growled hitting the wheel and making my mouth snap shut. He shook his head once more.

"Sorry Billy," I apologized. "Continue if you won't tell me where we are going."

He paused a moment before the car pulled across a darkened gravel patch and skidded to a halt. He turned the ignition off and fell silent. "Billy?"

"Did you enjoy your birthday, Rose?"

I was surprised at the sincerity behind his question. It made my eyes feel a little more emotional. "Of course I did Billy. The best damn birthday I've ever had. Why?" Before I could react too much he had pulled me to him by the back of my neck and placed his lips over mine. I kissed back with as much intensity I could as he put force into it. Making me open my mouth for him. His hand grabbed a hold of jean clad thigh and pulled at the edge of my black silk top. I jerked a fistful of his black shirt as the heat rose. Little rain sounds sounded on the hood of the car. When they got heavier is when we finally stopped.

"Wow," I spoke breathless as Billy's forehead rest against mine. His lips linger to mine a moment longer, placing light kisses on them. I kissed the edge of his chin.

"Good," he spoke simply, opening his door.

I set still dumbfounded whilst he got out and made his way through the rain. I kept quiet until he had pulled my door and open and the rain had already began soaking his hair and turning it a tad bit darker from it's blonde roots. Even the aching beauty of him didn't keep me from that curosity lurking at the back of my mind. "Where are we?"

"Come on you'll fuckin' see." He smirked. His eyes started to get a tad bit darker. Ok, fine. I got out of the car and stepped against Billy as the rain lathered my body with force. I loved the cool feeling of it, but I was beginning to freeze as it was still winter. Thunder hit as he shut the door and pulled me to him. My medium shoulders is his large grasp. It felt natural and I almost wallowed in it. He grabbed my hand and led me to a busted up silver door, up ahead of us. "Billy?" I questioned, stepping back lightly. He laughed before pulling a key from his back pocket and popping it in the lock and pushing the door open with a hollow creak. He pushed me inside the dimness and immediately the smell of wood and dust hit my nose. But I smelled led and cigarette smoke the strongest. The hallway in front of me was long and dark with a tad bit of graffiti covering the sides of the walls.

Billy led me down the hallway with his breathing more than noticeable. He led me to a brown banister with metal attached all the way down what looked to be shimmer like shiny wood. The silver hung over it like a prison bar. Billy motioned me up the stairs before himself, the rusty metal squeaking as I we walked. I didn't hold on to the stair railing and neither did Billy. He seemed overly anxious about something. I had no time to question, just trust him. We came to another hallway at the end of this first flight of stairs. Black paint covered the walls entirely and a few more graffiti signs plastered the right-sided wall.

A few signs of where former livers remained. Billy held onto my hand tightly, his slightly damp, but warm and firm. I squeezed back with an unsure force and he squeezed again. I walked in synch behind him- he led me to a door before pushing it open. The light was on, but dim. I walked in with him scared as hell. None of this looked familiar. I was wishing to be back home with Lilly and all my gifts. Yeah, even gifts. Billy shut the door and I noticed the lock as he flipped it- it was slightly nicked up and had a chipped coat of gold painted over it that started to fade, but shined on cheaply.

"Billy?" I asked aloud, as my teeth started to shatter.

He stood there only smirking at me as the rain dripped from his now drenched clothes. He took off his brown leather coat and tossed it to the simple chair in the corner of the room on the right side. It was next to a simple pole lamp with a tan shade. The room was nicer than the place, with simple blue cropped carpet and cream walls. The white blinds hung loosely with black shadow like curtains on the two wide windows. There was simple beaten and cracked mirror standing, hung above on the wall over a beaten up wooden dresser.

In the middle of the room as I turned around shaking after my look around, I noticed a huge bed with a wooden frame, lacking the footboard and a red comforter and sheet were draped neatly over it. Two navy blue pillows and two mint green ones were propped up at the top. "Billy?" I asked again, with my voice getting louder. "Where the fuck are we?"

He only kept his smirk up. "The rest of the night isn't over," he stated, as the rain dripped from his hair and he shook it lightly, rubbing his hand through the top and catching me off guard. He was soaking wet from head to toe and his blonde hair sticking to his forehead and beautiful eyes didn't help matters.

_**Into the night we're all right**_

_**Into the pale moonlight**_

_**Nothing could go wrong**_

I started replaying the party. During the evening Lilly had taken me to some old abandoned building near the office where the boys started working and there was food, alcohol and music. Drinking, gifts, dancing and any kind of fried food or chip you could've imagined was there. I had an awesome time to say the least and it got pretty wild with the male friend Lilly brought for me. Except Billy decked him in the face and he was gone! No strip for me. I sighed. "Nice." I plopped down on the bed. It smelled clean and fresh. "This can't be the five star or even the holiday inn, so you mind filling me in?" I snapped bouncing up on the bed lightly.

He leaned his head back and the new two month swirls on the sides of his firm neck made my head loll sideways. For a moment I took another look around, still confused as hell. I sighed deeply and let out a frustrated whimper.

"You don't remember where we are?" He crossed his arms with that smirk still evident on his features and his face.

I thought. The alley at the deep end of Rockside. "Bones's room?" I asked more to myself with shock clearly written all over me. Stamped to my forehead even.

He nodded once. "Never seen this part of the place have ya?" I knitted my eyebrows together at him.

"But why.." I trailed off thinking, with a pause.

His eyes scanned up and down my body, the dark of them sparkling with lust and fire. My eyes widened. "Bones's bed?" My voice got even higher this time. He removed the newly lit cigarette from between his lips and blew a line of smoke out.

"Thought you'd be more comfortable with the extra space," he said smiling, as he pushed the cigarette into the door and threw the bud somewhere into a dinged up trash bend. Suddenly, something clicked inside of brain real fast.

"Wait, we're not. We're not. Billy?" I pushed into the still slightly stiff mattress and a rumble of thunder hit making me jump slightly. My mouth went slightly agape, my eyes went to the floor and my breath quickened. My head moved to the side in disbelief. "So this is why Bodie was doing rounds?" I whimpered silently to myself remembering suddenly the talk we'd had a few days prior to this night.

"_You gotta tell him girl. Sixteen is considered a big number here. You won't be havin' any fun unless you come clean."_

"_It's no one's business Bodie," I snapped. Besides I only told you because you're paid to practically fucking tail me. "_

"_So your not gonna tell Billy that you're a little virgin," he teased, pushing on my shoulder with his. _

_My feet kicked the side of the bend we were setting on._

_"No, and you better not either. I'm already fucking ashamed about all of you ruining my chances anyway. I don't need to be fucking harassed about it too." _

_Bodie's face went soft. "Nah that's not it. But I won't say nothin', scouts honor," he grinned._

That little talk of my embarrassing stunt of the day led me to spill myself to Bodie and of course he fucking told Billy. I was a moron to think that he wouldn't. "I'm gonna kick his ass!" I spat. I gasped now shock hitting me even more.

_**When you're alone carry on**_

_**Pull out the nails from your bones**_

_**Keep on keeping on**_

I now realized in full that Bodie helped Billy make this deal go more than one way. "He told you?" I asked out loud. Billy only slightly nodded as my face went red out of fury and extreme amounts of anger. "He fucking said it was just between him and me. And Billy why the hell are we in Bones's room? Of all fucking places! You take all of your whores here?" I yelled, tears threatening to spill at my own anger.

His face twisted into a frown before a tad bit of hurt mirrored it followed by anger. "Rose I-" I cut him off.

"And Bones's fucking bed!" I shook my head. He walked over to me as I continued to keep my red face hidden to the floor. His strut made his jeans wrap tighter around his legs and the now developed muscles in them. He bent down in front of me and placed his hands on the tops of my thighs. "Rose?" I went to speak, but he placed his warm rough finger against my now wet lips.

"Look at me right fucking now Rose!" His voice strong and demanding.

I looked up at him slowly and when I saw his eyes and the slight wave to his soaked blonde hair, I tried keeping my eyes only locked to his or else I knew he'd get me. He spoke again. "513 code 429," he spoke simply.

I shook my head confused and his low laugh made me even more confused. He leaned in and whispered into my ear. "Look at the tag."

"Billy what the fuck are you talking about?" I groaned. He pointed to the already white wrinkled paper sticking out of the underside of the mattress and sheet. I bent down and read as his lips cockily repeated the numbers along with me.

"513 code 429." He smirked.

"I've been gone a lot lately and Bones's bitchin'. All that shit Bones's fucked on about. He never shut up and that is where I got it from. My inspiration. " He leaned into my ear again with his breath hot on my neck. "Bones got a delivery today."

My eyes again widened. "Billy."

_**You've got nothing to fear**_

_**Promise you will be there**_

_**Nothing will go wrong**_

He looked into my eyes searching them as he brushed some damp hair behind my ear and ran his finger across my trembling lips. "I thought you'd wanna play with me tonight Rose. Isn't that what friends do?"

"Uh, um," I whimpered scooting to my left away from his radiating heat.

His hands held me firmly so I couldn't move far. "I know you like spaces that are wide. I do too. I'd be doing Bones a fucking favor," he stated, stroking the back of my neck with his knuckles. "Wanna break it in baby?"

At this point my heart rate fell with a lurch into my gut and my throat closed up halfway. A flush of heat washed over my entire body and I could feel it pressing up on my face. I couldn't control the shivers that coursed through my veins, nor the butterflies flapping and swirling in my stomach. My hands began to shake. His face nuzzled my neck as he spoke. "Rose baby?"

"Ye- yeah," I said lowly, my voice practically a whisper.

His hand reached down into the pocket of his wet dark jeans and pulled something out. A tiny square object in a bluish looking wrapper. At first I couldn't comprehend what it was as his fingers closed around it. " I wanna give you your gift. You're fuckin' initiation Rose." My heart had sped up the pace threatening to slam against my chest and fall right out. His fingers lifted from the small object.

"Billy is that? You're not. We're not going to. I'm sure as hell not going too, " I whispered breathlessly, not able to control my voice.

_**Don't chase the beat of your heart**_

_**Don't let yourself fall apart**_

I didn't know what to expect even when his eyes interlocked with mine. Lust a little mist and love maybe? It all swirled into the center of those orbs. "Rose?" He whispered lowly, his deep voice making my blood pop and fizzle. He leaned up into my ear, taking one of my hands and placing it on his warm thigh. His other hand bringing my fingers to his mouth before lightly kissing the tips of them, each one. I looked to him with a slight whimper frozen to my face. His mouth opened to speak again and his breath hit my ear. He asked me one question. I'd never ever forget this in my entire lifetime. Though Billy's questions were always demands.

My heartbeat grew stronger and I was positive we could both hear it. "I'm gonna make love to you." He whispered deep and lowly into my ear. I breathed in the cool scent of him and his cologne filled my lungs. "Billy. I've never been. Touched. Before I-" here I was stumbling over my words again like an ass. To think I was always good with words. "Why the fuck do you think I waited so long?" He said smirking. " And you fuckin' thought." He shook his head smirking.

"You're a fucking bastard!" I snapped, face turning red.

I crossed my arms over my chest and he uncrossed them tracing a finger over the top of my breast. He leaned his back and did that familiar sniff. The scent of his cologne rolled off of him the more that he moved. He stood up pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it up. My eyes rolled and my jaw clenched. Leave it to Billy to light up every minute of everyday. I growled. He smirked at me removing the cigarette from between his lips. My lips moved and I wrinkled my nose. I got off of the bed and stormed passed him, my heels stomping heavily to the door.

As I tried fumbling with the lock I heard him chuckle. He was laughing at me. Of all the times. I suddenly remembered why I felt so foolish around him at times. Angry tears filled my eyes and I tried again desperately to flip the difficult lock. I heard heavy footsteps and I began fumbling faster. My nail jamming into the door instead. "Fuck." I yelled with the tears clearly visible in my voice. He walked forward and I turned my back to him once again trying to wing the cut on my finger. I felt hands touch my shoulders. Warm and the scent of him. God. He was going to kill me no doubt. The smoke, cologne, the sweat on his brows. His eyes faced mine.

"Fuck you!" I said sternly.

"In a few days baby I'll have that but now." My jaw clenched and my right hand went up prepared to cross his cheek. He waited for my hand and I could see him smirking again. My jaw tightened further. He was fucking with me. I let my hand drop and he looked away for a moment and took the time to smirk as he just gave me the leverage that I needed. I tucked my thumb inside my clenched right hand and just as he turned around to face me again I swung upwards, hitting him with all of the strength I could muster, dead in the face. He stumbled backward as my stance became straighter. My lips twitched into a cocky smile.

He wasn't expecting that. For me to deck him. He looked up at me, the glare icy and cold. His lip and nose were slightly covered with blood. "You may have taught your whores well Billy, but you taught me with extreme," I finished, smirking.

His glare kept getting hotter my the seconds passing, the blue stones with the power to bust. My eyes suddenly filled up with more hot tears. I felt hurt and all too vulnerable to ride that pride out. His face immediately changed. He wasn't aware that he hurt me this bad. I turned back to the door willing to bust the fucker down. I twisted the lock with the hand that was starting to turn purple. "Tough fucker," I mumbled.

I heard the thud of his boots just as I finally heard the lock click and snap open. And I twisted it pushing the door open and darted out into the dark hallway. I wanted to piss his ass off knowing he was behind me. I started to run now. I threw myself as fast I could down the stairs, with the metal shaking harder at both of us scrambling on it. I could hear him getting closer. I ran into the double graffiti covered doors and pushed them open with my shoulders. The door flew open.

And I slipped off of the step, it being wet. The rain was beating down. Just as a got past Billy's black mustang I heard a yell. It wasn't Billy's voice. I halted. "Ya fuckin' half-wits! I fuckin' paid my damn does. Now If I don't get some fuckin' pay I'll be bustin' some fuckin' skulls!"

I froze. Bones was back and was not pleased with knowing of his delivery or having it. I turned to go the other way when a hand covered my mouth harshly. "What the-"

"Shut the fuck up!" He growled harshly and he slung me over his shoulder. I felt everything spin as he threw me over his back and darted for the exit door that I ran out of. We were both soaked. He pushed through the doors and crept back to the stairs and up them silently into the dark hallway. My hand was throbbing with pain.

My nails dug into him harshly trying to get him to put me down. His foot kicked the door open. "No! Put me the fuck down Billy! Now!" I could feel the muscles in his back flex from his ragged breathing. He walked into that room that made me even angrier, seeing as Bones would be up here any minute now. He slung me on the bed roughly and I immediately whipped around and jumped back off. He clicked the lock once again and I ran at him. "Open the fucking door!" I yelled harshly.

"Shh hush. Shut the fuck up Rose for one god damned minute!" My hand went up but he caught it. It throbbed with pain and I whimpered. He reached into his back pocket and grabbed up his phone, dialing quickly. "Yeah. Man his ass is out there. Get him the fuck out! I don't care if he fuckin' goes to Gun World just do it!" He snapped the phone shut. He looked at me as my feet moved forward with force and my hands began beating on his chest. "Rose shut the fuck up!" He growled grabbing my hands.

I stopped loosing breath and leaned into his chest as he held my hands tightly. "Good girl." Wrong thing for him to say at this moment as my blood boiled even hotter. I leaned back and pushed with all of my might, smacking him as hard as I could. When I started to beat at his chest and around him in another frenzy he grabbed my hands. " Rose baby."

"Shut the fuck up Billy! I'm not your baby!" I yelped.

His look turned stern with a bit of hurt now in his eyes. I started to hit at him again trying to get my point across when we heard voices and loud footsteps. He rammed me, slamming me into the door and pinning me with his knees, while his hand covered my mouth and the rest of his body weight pinned me against the door, forcing my arms down. The voice was closer now. I froze. "I'm fuckin' getting it tonight! And I want Billy's worthless ass on his shift!" My hair began dripping, making me hold my breath and the slight sound of even that.

The cold clothes that were sticking to my skin and the scent of Billy around me and Bones just on the other side of the door. I began to violently shake from it. My breathing was coming out in short gasps now against Billy's hand. Any minute Bones would be in this room and Billy and I would suffer the consequences. The thought of having Billy hurt or having to leave me now made my chest hurt against my will as I was supposed to be mad at him and not see the just in this situation, this night. My eyes filled up with tears of an overwhelming sense and slipped down my cheeks, hitting Billy's hand. He looked at me and his eyes weren't in a worry about Bones. No, they were filled with concern. Glassy and mesmerizing. He nuzzled my neck. "Shh. Shh. Rose calm down," he whispered.

_**You've got nothing to fear**_

_**Promise you will be there**_

_**Nothing will go wrong**_

I silently let the tears fall. "Shh. Baby calm down." His body lifted slightly off mine. He was being comforting which was something I wasn't used to and by the looks of it neither was he. A rare side I am sure I would only see this once if any longer. He lifted my arms up as his eyes concentrated on mine. He nodded as he kissed my bruised fist, his fingertips tracing the top of it. He moved my arms and wrapped them around his own waist and kissed my earlobe. He ran his hands under my black long sleeved top and rubbed my damp bare back. I gasped upon the contact, but lay my head flat against his chest and let my eyes flutter shut before I heard Bones's voice again. "No fuckin' way! That piece of shit! You tell that little motherfucker that I'm on ma way down there! And if his fuckin' ass isn't I'll bring him back here in pieces!"

I felt Billy breathe in hard and deep as the footsteps retreated. "Ya know Rose? Bodie isn't so fuckin' bad."

My eyes widened. "What? You mean he's doing all of this so that we can be here? He's stalling?"

Billy nodded.

"And ya fuckin' think I have no authority." I knew that in the back of my mind of course this all made sense. Bodie was the only one Billy trusted enough to hand over this situation.

"So why did you do all of this?" I asked

The hurt retreated back into his eyes. "I wanted to give you something. I'm gonna be the first to heat your skin," he finished. At that moment after those words tore through my body like a sharp fire he slowly pushed me back into the door. I thought I was going to faint or go fully taunt. Which I already was. He paused, but his eyes never leaving mine his hands edged underneath my top. Waiting to see if I would return his gift or not? The feeling of wanting him to be inside of me for months. The jealously of others, aching for him for almost two years and so much longer. Here he stood before me soaking wet with his black shirt sticking to him. His hair dripping wet.

His scent now so close to me that I could practically taste it. I slowly let air out of my lungs as I took the brief inch between us and stepped to him. Pressing myself against him I moved my own hands inside of my shirt and on top of his. I closed my fingers around his, pushing our entwined hands upward. The fabric of my damp shirt sliding up my damp skin. It reached my breast before I dropped my hands. Everything felt now like it was rushing in one big mix. The heat swept it up between us, fabricating it.

I raised my arms above my head as Billy peeled the rest of the fabric from my skin and over my head. He tossed it aside. And now I stood shivering my black satin bra clinging to my body, the only thing covering my top half now. I looked to Billy unsure of what came next as my nerves were blocking my thinking and so was the chattering in my body rattling me for three different reasons. A blush crept onto my cheeks. He smiled at me, his eyes following my body. "Relax baby lemme do the rest." He pressed himself against me once more. This was the sweetest sin that I could feel at this point.

His fingers removed the strap sticking to me left shoulder and I leaned my head as his lips met the hollow of my ear before he whispered. "There's always a storm with me baby." Everything shot up and sizzled for him now. My damp skin felt on fire as his lips trailed to my bare shoulder. They made a line to my neck lightly tracing and nipping. His head went downward, his lips pressed right against the top of my breast. I let out a whimper as he bent my body further backwards. I could feel his smirking as he pulled the other strap down. As he removed it he placed a feather light kiss on my collarbone. His fingers went and moved up my back to the clasp of my bra. Within one swift movement and with skill he unhooked. Faster then I could have.

_**Nothing will go wrong**_

There weren't visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in my head. No. But there was sugar and dancing mixing into my body. His fingers yanked the straps and pulled it from me, tossing it to the floor. My face heated up. His hand wretched forward holding his index finger out he lightly traced the top of my breast, "Relax Rose. Quit shaking. You'll be warm soon." He finished with a smirk as his lips downplayed mine. I nodded speech not able to retreat from my lips. He leaned his head down and pressed his lips gently against mine while his hand grabbed my left breast, filling his hand with it. I gasped into his mouth. He left his gold on my breast and bent down on his knees in front of me.

His hands went to the buttons on my jeans and he popped it open in one swipe and away went my zipper. He pushed my jeans apart, making my stomach push out with the free air now. He pushed them down halfway and steered me back towards the bed. I set on the edge as he slowly finished his walk towards me. It was as if a new line of thinking began. A dirty term oil. He kneeled in front of me and yanked on the bottoms of my jeans and I lifted up so he could pull them from my legs. He jerked them to my ankles and pulled them off tossing them somewhere. I was shaking now more than I ever thought possible. Mix of anticipation and nerves.

"Lay back," he ordered.

It was as if something rolled through the air and I lay back in slow motion. Never falling. I lay back against the cool fresh material with only my panties on. I heard the thud of boots following Billy climbing to the edge of the bed sinking it in and climbing on top of me like a ravaging animal. He covered my bare half and pulled the back of his shirt up and off of his body. He threw it to the floor and I stared to his perfect chest and abs. The tattoos formed so perfectly. I looked up into his eyes smiling as I grasped his forearms as my breathing began to increase. I lifted my hands to his belt buckle and undid it with speed that surprised us both. I popped open the button on his pants and pulled the zipper down, pushing his jeans open as the heat came up. I took a deep shaky breath. He pushed his hands against his jeans and kicked them to the floor. I lifted myself up as he hovered over me crawling with me just as fast and yanking the comforter and sheet up as I placed myself against the middle of the bed. I scooted back until my back hit the mint green pillows.

I resisted the urge to scoot so far back I would be on top of the pillows and away from this moment. It was mixed emotions on this. Scared of what this was all leading up to. The little light that we did have was beginning to flicker. The nervousness and shaking in my body was almost too much. I looked up at Billy who was watching me with those sea blue eyes, lust and love swirling in like a tide around the pools of white. Everything was a heartbeat away now....

Quickly I looked away and pressed my back further into the pillows. And my feet stayed flat on the mattress with my legs sticking up. When it suddenly dawned on me that Billy had told me to lay back. My face heated up and I opened my mouth to speak but it came out in a high pitched whimper. Billy tilted his head to look at me. The silence was making my stomach do flip-flops. My eyes wouldn't dare look at him now. No I wouldn't even allow a corner's glance. I scooted forward to save myself and shakily laid back hitting the cold sheets that felt good. Some more material comfort.

Just as I lay down Billy's breath hit my face. Smoke and vodka. He hovered over me and placed his right arm beside my left. The lights flickered with the storm and they blew what dim lighting we had. I jumped and it ended up arching my bare chest against Billy's. I let a weak moan slip from my lips. Propped up on one hand he looked at me with his eyes gleaming wildly. He leaned down towards my face with my breaths again coming out in short gasp. I felt the coolness of that cross necklace as it dipped between the valley of my breast. He pressed his lips to mine and kept it warm and soft. His lips moved gently against mine as if trying to fight off the urge to dominate my mouth and me.

Our eyes traveled everywhere together. Even when I looked away. Before I knew what was happening he looked my body over and crushed his lips hungrily to mine. It pushed my head with force back into the pillows. I tangled a hand in his wet hair. He pulled my lip out wards and bit down slightly causing a moan from the back of my throat. His lips full of hot electric. I felt Billy's fingers brush against my thigh. His hand made its way up my belly flicking the navel ring. His head leveled down and flicked the ring with his tongue, circling my navel. I moaned out. His fingers traced the outline of my breast. I felt his knee press into my closed ones pushing them open and making room for him. "You doing ok?" His husky voice asked. I nodded as I fought my legs from shutting. Billy pressed his lips lightly to mine as he saw me tense up and he made the gentle kissed that made me loll back again. I felt his hand shift and his fingers pushed against my panties. In one sudden motion I heard a tearing sound. He pushed the satin away from my legs and center. I resisted the strong urge, but my legs tried closing against him.

His lips grazed my jaw line and I felt him push on himself and I saw those black tight boxer/briefs disappear. I gulped. I felt his knee press into mine and my legs opened as he started to come between them my senses came back.

I froze all the muscles tensing again. "Billy n-no. I um I don't want. It's to..." I trailed off in a whimpering frenzy.

"You what? It's to what?" He whispered that husky voice traveling through the scent filled my nose as I took a deep smirked a little and I felt his hips began pushing against my legs to open them even wider. My face turning crimson and beat red. So hot I felt as if my face were going to explode. And he began shifting yet again and I knew what was and uncertainty came at an alarming eyes darted back and forth searching his face. His eyes were glazed over like blue sea glass with a misty green fire burning into the surrounding pools of white. He didn't consume any look of anxiety on his face, nor too much pride at this moment, well too much pride before he actually started what he intended on doing with me. Which I found even his facial expression not showing any sense of gloating pride to be odd. He was Billy Darley after all. His face was relaxed and his eyes were glistening. I knew that I was all right. Those eyes had always made me feel safe. It was something to say that you knew you were safe with Billy. The stage of power in his life that he already had was mouth dropping to the entire high school, but not surprising. Billy was already eighteen and graduating this year. The thunder roared on outside the Boston night and I felt something pressing lightly, but steady enough against my inner thigh. Briefly and my eyes widened out of surprise and shock, if I could get any more surprised... The feeling on my thigh coursed upward through my veins. I firmly pressed my hands into his shoulders; his hands made a grab for mine. "Nuh-uh." I whimpered. I was scared; scared he'd hurt me with himself and even more scared after the consequences I could face for letting him have sex with me. More important deflower me. The term made my face get even hotter. I didn't know if after this given his prior rep. if he'd be done with me? If I left him at bay for taking me, at least though, this also being selfish against me. If I kept him at bay maybe he'd be near me. Until he got what he wanted of course. But still, would I even add up to his standards? I wanted so badly to impress him, even if I didn't have the slightest idea of what I was doing. I didn't want any bad memories or awkwardness. I wanted this to be it for us. Seal the deal on Rose and Billy! But half of me didn't want this at all. My body was rejecting the upcoming pain before it even came inside of me. What was happening was something I couldn't comprehend no one prepared me for this emotionally and certainly not physically.

His voice carried me back to the room."You've come this far Rose. I need ya to trust me ok? Just trust me. I'm not going to fucking pound you baby! Ok?" I didn't trust those words immediately. Trust was something he knew I lacked of when it came to people. That is why He and I are so close because we can trust one another. I knew that I could trust him with my life and him vice versa. "Just relax." His eyes suddenly snapping to the quickly reached over and grabbed up the blue rapper.

His fingers moved quickly tearing the package open yet, very carefully. I pushed up on him, but that didn't stop him! Nothing was going to ruin his mood, let alone his night.

He took the condom out and rolled the entire thing on in a fluid motion. My head moved around trying to seek some form of comfort from the pillow. I scrunched my eyes together and locked my legs closed. His hand traced my breast and slid downward towards my heated core, but he was met with my closed legs. I was making sure to guard myself as tight as I could. He growled. "Rose. You're gonna be all right," His husky voice was giving a deep low throat induced whisper. His hardness was brushing the edge of my leg now. I took in a sharp breath of air. "No!" I let out a tiny cry. "I can't Billy. This night has already been great I don't need anything else. Please can we just-" but I was cut off as the top half of him covered me and placed a firm steady kiss right on my collarbone. He moved my hair aside onto the pillow and placed his lips to my neck. It was moist and warm. I let a little squeal like sound slip from my mouth and it brought out a smile I could feel from him radiating into my neck.

My nerves were never ending sparks that made everything feel like it was all a vibration or vibrating deep in some form. Billy continued to work his massive kisses down my neck and made a circle to the other side of my neck. His lips moved lower and I let him push aside my arms. He pushed them down to my sides and continued as I kept my knees locked tightly together so hard that they were beginning to cramp up. I opened my eyes as I felt a rush of warmth on my chest. Before I knew what guard I let down first his lips had already covered my left nipple. "Oh," I cried out, surprised at how good it felt. All of this being knew to me, being done by someone else other than the sessions I'd had with myself, not getting very far, made it all sensitive. Each touch, each kiss. His tongue swirled a circle around my nipple and my hand moved against the side it was placed at. I was getting uncontrollably hot down South. My legs shifted. His other hand began flicking the other nipple while he worked his magic on this one. He bit down a tiny bit and I gasped this time my hand flinging up and grabbing a lock of his hair. "Fuck. MM.. Mother fucker," I moaned out in one long stride.

And as he was paying close attention to how I was reacting now I felt his left hand leave and trace my side downward, grabbing my right hand and cupping it, making little finger tip tickles before he pushed it gently above my head. His fingers, warm rough and structured filtered down my side and onto my leg. He dug them into where my knees were shut before using his hand and prying the one away from the other and pushing it open. I started to lean up tensed when he spoke. "I'm just going to touch." His face now conducted a smirk. He hadn't seen me in full yet. I let my leg fall to the side and he pushed it flat against the bed. His eyes bore downward and I choked on a lump inside of my throat. My left hand at my side started to raise ad he grabbed it and pushed it behind my head. "Keep your arms above ya head." I saw him swallow.

This would be the first time anyone had ever touched me in that way. Coming close to what happened last year in the mustang was nothing compared to the now. I nodded as the shaking began. My breast were out and bare. I suppressed a cry. "Shhh," he soothed. "Nothin is gonna happen. Well not on my part anyway," he finished grinning. There was that pride. "You're beautiful." I smiled at his rare compliment. He really was himself when he needed to be. "Most would consider this an honor and fuck me already themselves."

"I'm not..." I trailed off again. "I'm not like that if I."

He grinned. "Not yet anyways. Once you start you won't be able to fuckin' stop." He lifted my leg up. "Keep ya hands above your head,"he repeated.

I swallowed again as he traced the edge of me lightly. Starting from the bottom he let his fingers slide all the way up my center. I bucked lightly against it. Shriveling in a chill.

I trembled when his experienced fingers caressed me lightly. He took his time running his palm flat against me and pushing me aside, sliding his fingers against me. I moaned. He fell on a spot that made me arch up into his hand off the bed. Looks that my special spot is branded for him now too. He rubbed around some more before he hit that spot again. Like Lilly had once schooled me it was one of the most familiarized pleasure spots on us woman, she proved to be right. She told me that the first time I'd experience it with anyone that wasn't myself it would be beyond amazing. I didn't need to do this prior times before to know that Billy was making my muscles pull together already. He was the best at everything he did and this is what had me worried from the start.

He found the base of my spot again and began rubbing his thumb and pointer finger in gentle motions picking up the pace every so often. "Fuck." I groaned, already feeling my hips jerk in response. It felt good, very good and my body began to relax. I was coming, I could feel it. It was an all to familiar feeling. Only Billy could make me feel this heated, and that I would always know from this point on. I gasped and my hips jerked as he rubbed me feverishly to my peak. His hand came up and began cupping at my breast and flicking my nipple with his finger. He rubbed it harshly as I felt his finger make it's way inside of me. I arched into the feeling as he slid it up even higher. I never thought anything would be able to fit there. "Billy." I moaned out.

"My tight unopened Rose." He grinned, as his eyes swirled again with lust watching my face as he pleasured me.

He groaned as I felt his finger travel much higher. "Not gonna be the easiest thing." I threw my head back into the pillow and arched. The sting was only slight where his fingers were, but I was aroused enough now not to even feel it. Or pay attention to it. I giggled with my moans as he traced my thigh and I felt him come up beside me. His long arm still stretched down and between my legs. I lifted my head up just enough to see his hand moving back and forth and I smiled throwing my head back and pushed up into him. "Ya like that? Huh?" He nipped at my earlobe and I let my hand brush up and pull onto his hair. I started to feel my body shake and move wildly as the wave of warmth rolled over my stomach. "I'm. Billy I'm.." I moaned out. My legs opened wider and I turned my body onto my right side facing him and closed his hand between my legs before reopening them as I desperately begged for the climax to hit me. His hand tightly between us still moving as my left arm grasped his right wrist and he pulled up my left leg throwing it over his hips, using the now free hand to rub that spot. He pushed his face to mine and my eyelids fluttered and my toes curled as the wave hit my stomach and made me tremble and felt as if my heart were going to explode from my chest.

"Billy." I cried out loudly, even surprising myself. He had a big agenda tonight.

I clawed at his sides as the wave hit me in full and faded leaving ragged breathing and new sweat on my body. Patches of red all over me, my chest and legs the most. I opened my eyes to see Billy staring at me intensely. His eyes were running wild. He was smirking at me and I felt him rub all over me again. I moaned and he laughed. "Feels that good?" Then his face turned serious, but fizzled with lust. "Rose?"

I felt the hardness rub against me and I froze. He had me right where he wanted me. My high faded back into fear. The lurches began. The sting inside of me I now felt it in full. Already my eyes shut. His finger traced my jaw line. Before his hand moved down and touched my throbbing center. His left hand brushed against the side of my cheek and removed the hair from my eyes. "Shh... It'll be all right. Trust me. It'll feel good soon. That's what they tell me." He smirked. My lips pursed together.

He nuzzled my chin. And then he started shifting his hips. He was preparing to take what he wanted. "Billy. What if after?" I whimpered, pressing against his shoulders.

"There will be a fuckin' after Rose. I'm not gonna leave you after this. And I guarantee that you won't leave me either. If ever." He grinned against my lips. He grabbed my wrist and pushed them around his neck. I shut my eyes. "No! Keep them open." He demanded, softly rubbing my other cheek. His hand pushed my leg further up over him. I felt the hardness once more, only this time it touched against me. "No. Billy please." I whispered. "It's gonna be all right I fuckin' promise you that." His blue eyes stared straight into mine and that moment my heart melted into that familiar safety.

I nodded sure now. The fears swept away for a little while. "Yeah." I spoke again, with a whisper pressing my forehead into his. He smiled smugly and fresh and began shifting his hips and sliding downward. He yanked on the sheet at the bottom of the bed and pulled it over us. The lights had already been out moments after we'd entered the room, but dim enough to see oddly. I could hear the rain and smell Billy's wild musky mixed with cigarette smoke scent. I hailed in air throughout my nose and relaxed myself as I felt him push his waist against me. He pushed against me and opened me a little before I felt a tad bit of the pressure. His hand came back up and held on to my waist.

My breathing was shaking so badly that I felt as if my throat would close with the next line of air. "Calm down." His lips whispered against mine, before he placed a light kiss on them. I felt a slight panic and began pushing on him a little, but stopped. I made one weaker attempt to stop myself from feeling the pain intensify. "Billy no! Please don't! I can't." I pleaded.

"Rose yes ya can." He stated firmly. His hips jerked down faster, pressing into mine and pushing them down. His skin was warm and smooth his thighs firm yet soft. I whimpered as he pushed forward and the pressure evolved into a burning sting that hurt like nothing else. I hadn't expected this. "Ouch." I tried closing my legs against him, but that further more pushed him into me and I cried out as the scorching sweat came to light on my for head. I blinked the fresh tears forming inside of my eyes. "Ow. Stop. Stop it. Ow. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch, ouch. I cried out in one long strand.

_**This pain put there by your loved ones**_

_**Goes deep into your bones**_

Billy suddenly pushed me over onto my back and pushed up, grabbing my hands and planting them firmly to my sides, his large fingers interlocked with mine. I pushed my hands up, but he was too strong. He only pushed them back down. He held my hips in place, with his sinking even further. I jerked at the pressure. The thick hot wave of it. I engulfing me. I jerked my hips up and that proved to be a more than bad move as I felt the pressure tear through me and it pulled a scream from my lungs. My eyes went even wider with shock. Billy's lips moved immediately to silence that scream. They moved gently until my cries died out into his mouth and my whimpers remained against his lips. My hips were wriggling massively. Two separate tears rolled out and slid down each cheek. My fingers dug into his. My palms were cold and sweaty. I wriggled more to, uncomfortable to set still. "Ow. G-get off Billy." I cried. He moved slightly and it stung badly. I couldn't explain the feeling of him. After a few moments the sting died down into a dull aching near my abdomen. He tried moving. "No-no." I stuttered. He brushed against my cheek, grinning, but his eyes sparked fiery lust and pride.

He tried moving again and my hips tried to close him out. Reacting into locking tightly again. "Stop fighting Rose. Let me have you!" He spoke against my mouth.

Those eyes. And I nodded slowly to tired to fight him. He began to lift up and slide out slowly, and with the same gentle motion slid back in. He looked to my face my eyes concentrating. He took that as a sign. And began to slowly thrust. The first couple stung beyond belief so I just lay there. Each time as I started to notice it kept feeling better and the sting was edging away. The next thrust I curled my hips up into his making him go deeper. He released my hands and I ducked them under his arm, clutching his shoulders."That's my girl," He growled. "You're so warm, so tight, so fucking wet." I moaned out loud. His lips went to my neck, to the top of my breast as his breathing sped up. "Rose put your leg around me baby. Just one!" He demanded. I lifted my right leg and Billy grabbed my ankle swinging my leg up and around his waist. "Oh fuck. Oh god Billy." I moaned loudly. "That's it Rose. Open up for me!" I felt the tips of my toes curl as I moaned out a "faster".

He sped up his pumping, my breast pressing deeply into his chest each time. His hand reached down and rubbed me slowly. I threw my head back into the pillows. I cried out. "Billy." I moaned breathlessly. "What?" His low voice spoke. "L-let me see." I said trying to keep my breath. He started at mebefore his lips twitched into a cocky smile. He pulled back a little and moved upward. I looked down in time to see him thrust back into me. My skin started burning hot and the feeling cascading down my arms and tightening my stomach. My fingers dug into him. My arms cooled slightly before my hips jerked and I curled up into him even more. I felt my muscles contract around him. "Oh god Billy. I cried out, nails digging deeply into him, hips pushing roughly against his. "Harder, harder!" I growled the tone in my voice surprising even me.

I moved my hands down and griped firmly against his muscular ass pushing him deeper. "Rose, fuck." He grunted out. I moaned as I hit my peak, It rattled my body shaking me and my eyelids fluttered madly fighting to stay open.

_**That carry your body**_

_**This pain put there by your loved ones**_

_**Goes deep into your bones**_

_**That carry your body**_

His last few thrust he threw his head back and his face curled up. He did something I never expected. He pulled me up so hard into him and jerked his hips against mine one final time before a growl erupted from him and he sank his teeth into the top of my breast, I gasped in shock and pleasure as he hit his climax, collapsing on my swollen breast. After a moment he lifted his head up. His nose and for head against mine, breathing hard.

"Ya okay?" He asked firmly. I nodded. "It just hurt so much when I-you." I struggled trying to find the right only nodded with a slight kissed my lips gently and pulled out slowly.I heard the rain beating down onto the metal rooftop. He rolled over beside me.

He lifted up. "Ya did fucking wonders babe!" He said. He kissed my shoulder when I gasped.a dull aching had formed between my legs shooting from my abdomen on down. I moved the sheets aside. No surprise to see a tad bit of blood between my legs and a tiny spot on the sheet. Billy's hand reached over and rubbed my thighs between my sore ache. I gritted my teeth pushing up. Noticing the blood he smirked. "No surprise there."

"Fuck you." I said breathlessly.

_**Into the night it's alright**_

_**Into the pale moonlight**_

_**Nothing has gone wrong**_

_**And nothing will go wrong**_

"You just did." He grinned.

****************

Coming back to Lilly's and making sure everything was as it should be before we left was an easier job than both of us had thought. But we did and made it back. Billy was on the phone with Bodie as I showered up and slipped into my comfy robe, awaiting my pajamas in the drier. He came back and smiled at me like mad before I ended up loosing the robe and he ended up loosing his clothes, climbing into bed with me. This time when he thrust it was a tad more gentle. I was still sore. But I was loving the feeling now and I had lost that fear. I had become a full-fledged woman.

He lay there with me. Wrapped in his arms, playing with the blonde hair on his forehead and tracing the tribal tattoos. He smiled at me before traveling south. This time when his tongue swirled I lost it not sixty seconds later. When I felt as if I couldn't breathe on my own he stopped. It was quiet with the rain and peace, as I felt safe in those familiar broad strong arms. And those eyes on mine keeping me safe. We'd gotten dressed as soon as we heard the doors start to open out front. Billy kissed me and said he'd come back tonight. Once he left I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, nor hide it from Bodie or Lilly. Lilly had smiled and hugged me. But Billy and I had eyes only for each other. They wouldn't budge from the dangerous sea. I'd just ventured into the new deep waters.

_I felt myself smiling in my sleep as I rolled in over into my pillow. "Billy." My lips lingered the name off. _

_**And how can I stand here with you**_

_**And not be moved by you**_

_**Would you tell me how could it be any better than this**_

_**You calm the storms and you give me rest**_

_**You hold me in your hands**_

_**You won't let me fall**_

_I heard the rain, but my eyes flew open and Joe was next to me. My legs were throbbing between desperately. Joe tightened his grip on me in sleep and I curled up to him hiding my lost tears as the night where the deal was sealed fell over my mind just as clear as anything. I wanted him to be making love to me, having sex with me and fucking me all in one tonight. The guilt was seeping through a tad bit. Billy was gone for good and I couldn't deal with that. Not now and not ever. _

_~*~*~*~*_

_A/N: So, thanks for reading that, lolz. I know it's long. It may not be edited to the best of perfection, but bare with me. I'm trying to keep up with punctuation. Hope you liked that chappy. Leave me some feedback! :) - Kris/Kay_


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